Paradox, being fat.
Eyes glued, spectacle to them.
But, invisible.

Ripped open, bleeding the stardust of the heavens.
You were the comet, bright and brillant blue, coming to stitch up my wounds.

I was saved, not with antiseptic or morphine  but the healing rush of your lips.
Electricity pulses from your tongue brought me back to life.
I found Orion’s Belt, you were my North Star.

Super novas collapsed in my lungs when I looked into your moon filled eyes.
I was the waves, under your spell I couldn’t fight the tide.

When you held my hand and said forever Haley’s Comet burst forth from my limbs and
I became a red blossomed nebula.

Yours, infinitely.

You touched me,

fuckkkkkk,

and I could feel my insides uncurl,
long forgotten what this felt like.

****** blush on my cheeks,
while your lips covered,
the parts of me that would be my u n d o i n g.

Gasps and grasping at something immobile,
while you sent me soaring
with your oral dexterity.

Only whimpers, breathing rushed,
what is my name again?
So close to the heavens, you're my super nova,
                         r
                       e
                     v
taking me o        the moon.

Gimme, gimme, headspace so intense.
Harder, faster, take me there.

Coming in with sparks and the day's
worries just shatter, forgotten.

Sated, saccadic, sanative.

My grandmother liked you
But does not fail
To remind me
"He needs an education"
She does it out of love
maybe fear
Or both, neither

I do not argue
it may be true
but just as facing your fears makes them real
so will her words
that stain the inside of my mind

Love used to make the world go round
you are still my prince
my king
but I do not know if your love
will ever pay the bills
And the castle will not
stay afloat

from adoration

I've slept with more
men,
than I care to
mention.
Looking for something,
I convinced myself
was lost.
When all along, it was buried
inside me,
next to my fears of inadequacy
and last shot of *****.
Move over the self doubt, shuffle
through the lies,
you find it, there.
There Right there!

I found it, myself.

You don't know, soon I'll be a college graduate.
you were the person I talked about,  
when it came to succeeding.
Not because of, but in spite.

You don't know that I am in love.
The man treats me like a princess,
better than you,
ever even hinted at.

You don't know, that I whispered:
"I wish I had a daddy."
As he picked out a birthday card for his father.
And I cried in the aisle of Walmart.

You don't know I had so much love to give you.
You could have been so proud of me.
I would have been so...much.

Now I just push the idea of you away.
Trying not to remember,
that most have fathers.
Around.

And the saddest part.
I cannot get closure, when you
never really even started anything,

for me to end.

You were broken
I was broken
But our broken parts fit
together, perfectly.