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Mar 2014 · 603
A letter to my father.
Naomy Gutierrez Mar 2014
Hey Dad, I think we need to talk..

Please don't lie to me anymore,
I can tell whether or not you tell me the truth.
You say "Everything will be okay, this is the last time."
How can I be so ******* sure?
You can be a vindictive, abusive and envious man,
I am used to it.
Whenever I get a beating it tickles,
My Three Square Meals I get each day; Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner.
The feeling of a leather belt in rapid speed, hitting my back, legs, arms, chest and my skin 3 times a week.
It tickles, creeps up on me more, over and over, but with steel hands.
Father, I love you. But I can;t do this no more.  
We are growing apart,
You distorted my feelings as to how I think a father should be.
I thought you can be the protective strong guy I can rely on, and play catch with me during the weekends.
Instead you became a real torture machine, torturing not only me but the rest of the family.
I hope you understand what is on my mind, please don't you cry, I need to be honest.
You put us through hell and back for the past couple of years.
With the drunken arguements you had with my mother,
Objects are thrown at you and readily returned back,
This is an undocumented war that no one knows about but your kids.
Though, there were times were you made me smile.
I appreciate the little things you done for me, like helping me with simple addition and division no matter how much our family is divided.
We move on and carry on as time flies,
You aren't the perfect dad.
But you are worth it.
Just didn't put enough work into really loving us.
We had to learn love ourselves before you attempted to show that you care.
I am trying to understand you, hopefully you can do the same for me.

- Astro Flows.
Mar 2014 · 351
This Is How You Lose Me
Naomy Gutierrez Mar 2014
I wanted to express how I truly feel you know?
I never thought you would be that way towards me, not so much as to feeling that way..          
You would always come to me with your problems,
Usually relationship problems.
With the Elmer Fudd of a lover who only wanted to do one thing ;
And that was to shoot bullets into your inner Bugs Bunny, opening your body with fresh wounds, as the color red appears..
Red is the color of love, as well as blood.
I remember how close we got, I enjoyed the times we've spent,
I'm glad you're happy.
I'm glad you enjoyed it,
But learn to remember it.
You have a souveneir, the necklace I gave you.
Nobody has ever bought you anything, but I wanted to change everything.  
I wonder whenever you're with him, do you think of me?
I feel like whenever we would talk, you would talk to him at the same time..
You'll hate him, then want me. You'll miss him, then hate me?
All I wanted to do was something he never accomplished,
We never spoke after this.
I woke up a new person, less stressful. You used to be my potential part time lover but now you are foreign to me like an extra terrestrial.
Sorry if I made you feel more ugly than how you were on the inside.
You're right, I can do better. But you could've done amazing.
Have fun with the piece of **** who only wants fun with you when its dark and both bodies are covered in bed sheets.

I won't be there to save you, and this is how you lose me.

- Astro Flows.

— The End —