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1.7k · Nov 2013
Obsession
Nalbanks Nov 2013
I will rot myself to bones,
For this desire burns like fire
this dire need
I mustn't feed
I want to look as I feel inside
someone holding on,
Soon to die
878 · Nov 2013
Introversion
Nalbanks Nov 2013
So many thoughts
Leading me to an equation I am not yet ready to understand
But I stand
As a being,Confused in my suffering
It's not something that lit the spark,that would eventually burst into flames
My mind cannot be tamed
Leaving my head stripped,I felt raw, I was ripped,to shreds ,nearly dead
So I read,I read,and I read
Anything to stop the self destructive cycle
For the lack of understanding keeps me contemplating,wondering,seeking ,reading
There was no event that lead me to be a certain way
I've been hiding myself away,a place I forced myself to stay,
As I was peeking thru the cave, the one which I kept myself enslaved
I caved, I said **** this cave
There shall be no more slave
I make it sound simple,as if just a ripple,
I do wish it was that simple,
It's part of who I am
This pain, I did not train
Some say there's no gain
I mustn't refrain
I disagree completely
I have grown quite uniquely
I can't control the wiring ,I've tried,it's much to tiring
That's when I found my cave, the  one which I've been enslaved
Years in this cave,fears In this cave,tears in this cave,
A world in which i was Being perceived as my exterior , left me brutally decayd
I regained my awkward wiring,
Still , no one knows my interior, not smug, nor a thought that I am superior ,I am mearly interior
I use mearly with great clemency,as if its simplicity
Perceive me as you will
I dress the way I feel
Equations are my thrill,
As my hands are clinging to the edges of my ribs,where I sit perceiving the outside world,
Wondering,
Am I the only one hidin within myself?
842 · Oct 2013
Tired
Nalbanks Oct 2013
I'm tired of it all
Being short , not being tall
Sick& depressed
An ever need for rest
Binge, purge, cut , starve
A human shell, pleas don't tell
I'm a girl who needs time
For some piece of mind
It'll take me a while to cough up a smile
Let me sleep ,let me rest
Ill surface my best
You'll be disappointed
I'm broken , no token, no prize, no win
Anxious and stale
I beg you don't tell,
Fatigued and relieved
My tiring shell indeed
Tired
601 · May 2014
pill
Nalbanks May 2014
its a beautiful serenity
beginnings tend to be
my torture numbed, my landscape free
i felt whole i felt open
no crying, no lying
i am weightless i have room
i can walk,  i've left my tomb
i smell, i can be
as time goes on
numbness  no longer feels free
this little yellow pill grew legs inside of me
i used these legs to run to deep dark corners inside my being
i thought hiding would end it, no more suffering
i could cry until im aching
i could yell my lungs sore
but i always feel trapped
someone locked the door
ive been here before
this world disrupted
im not sure which is better
the numbness or the sting
455 · Nov 2013
Inches away from exposure
Nalbanks Nov 2013
I feel as tho the pain in my body travels up
Seeping out of my throat
Floating into my mouth
I swish the pain like mouth wash
I taste the pain, bitter pain.
But I never mutter a word of pain
It is so close to the outside of me
So close , yet none of you know.
365 · Dec 2013
He is leaving me
Nalbanks Dec 2013
You seem to forever live in my heart,
even if i no longer live in yours
You may not want me to still love you

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