My drink was laced with death

What do you expect when you're seen
as a vulnerable prospect?

Through my drowsy heart
pulsed a pang of regret

My tears ran miles when
Panic started to sweat

My drink was laced with death

Of me there was nothing
for him to take

But a drink too early
spun regrets too late.

After all this time
It still hurts sometimes
Seeing your soul spilled through your eyes
Is missed the most sometimes
The smiles
The jokes
The laughs
And childish boasts sometimes
The overdose of Dopamine I'd feed on everyday
Better than any toxic drug
I called it love.
But its name changes sometimes
It gets infected sometimes.
And once it does that's when I end up sitting here
Getting my fix on these rhymes
More like clearing out my mind
But once it's gone, it's gone
Get it back? That's for Time
To tell
Although all Time says is that it's still there
And you always waiting on Time to know if they really cared
Are you there?
Are you witnessing my undying love?
Is there no sign from above?
If you need a fix you can always call on me
Because Time has always led you this way
Just wait and see...

I felt my heart wilt as you opened the door
Its budding petals collapsed with the knowledge
of darkness swallowing my sun for an eternity.
I felt my heart wilt as you stepped out of the door
And every step was a stain on my eroded roots
Long forgotten and buried within your heart
Darkness is swallowing my sun for an eternity
I felt my heart wilt as every footstep became a memory
And with no sun to breathe life into me,
I hung onto those memories for every heartbeat
Darkness has swallowed my sun for an eternity
Retrace your steps once more
So that my petals may bloom,
So that my heart may beat.

I'd rather have you here.
A lost hope feeding on the dust
of a shooting star
Feel like we're miscommunicating
on a wave of radiation
Staring at the phone hoping
that your hopes are similar.
My words lose their worth being read
by your eyes
I try to express the nature of my love
but the grass isn't as green as it was
And you can't revive the roots of
my Autumn leaves falling your way
Just like I fell for you
Now I'm grading my texts
Saying F that
I'd rather have you here
But I won't weaken myself
to say what you expect to hear
So I hope you hear my unsaid words
of love that won't die
And know that my reminiscent tears
are yearning
A simple moment of peace -
Being touched
By your heartbeat...

In your name my emotions are cactuses
Immortal and unchanged
The many forms you take ignites a fiery concoction
Breeding the spikes of my lost words
The suffering you inflict from the core of your existence
splurges from my heart
Fighting in your name against you
Does that make me hard?
Mystique
The many forms you take has me in awe
I've been searching in every nook and cranny
and every open door
Is what you are really on the other side?
The more I try to stop searching, the more I feel obliged
****
Down like the Fall I try to turn a new leaf
A new song with the same tune, Mystique you've had me deceived.
Mystique
My spikes are softening and I'm starting to bloom
Let me see your beautiful features, not your face of gloom
Mystique
One more question, before you let me be
Has anyone ever saw your true form
Or just what you want them to see?

Oh Fugitive
You have escaped me and left me bound
in the shackles of your love
Your trail of footprints conquered the
dead end of my cell
And you've escaped.
Now, Your shackles bounds me like an anchor to the sea
And I wonder when the ever flowing sea would
bring you back to me
Oh Fugitive
Please hear my calls in the howling wind
And return to your home of loving captivity
For the portal of fantasy has closed long ago
And reality has made me
Your prisoner

I toss and turn.
My blood stirring as the stars swirl
in the midnight sky
I toss and turn, staring from a distance
as your eyes stay closed
Close enough to touch
yet too afraid to impose.
I scatter my sheep across the ceiling
as they graze on my thoughts
I ought to be coming to life in yours
For my eternal sleep is what I've fought.
I toss and turn
Counting the petals with every blink of
your resting eyes
Forget me not, says the flower
as it silently cries.
I toss and turn, patiently waiting
for your dreams to unfold
As your smile slowly blooms
I hope my image is what it withholds.
And as I patiently wait to hear comforting words of love
ever so sweet
Your eyes stay closed, still
And tears of joy, I weep...

His name stuck
stubbornly clinging to the jagged edge
of locked jaw.
Her eyes retreated to the back of her head
drowned in a pool of blood
Memories swayed her in and out of consciousness
as the paintings with lost smiles absently stared.
He thought he was clenching the fist of a man...

I heard the little boy behind the man
when he said love should be like this.
But all sense was stripped
from a mind soaked in pain
Eyes bulging with pride and fists
dripping blood.

She watched him become a stranger
Heard every footstep fade into a distant memory
as she lied there swallowing his battered words
wishing life didn't have a present like this-
wishing the future would look past her.

"She couldn't say who it was,
  all I could hear was it's someone she once knew."

Sigh...
I pray for a day in a world
where greed don't exceed necessity
Even the stars can't lift me now.
I swallow the sky and cough out clouds
to numb the pain
I spat on the earth.
I sunk deep into a pool of guilt.
I wonder if steep debits
would steal my soul for free
And leave me crying at work
without company
Will I crumble to dust
or will I fight for me?

I look up to the sky
inhaling loneliness
I can't say how long death would flow
through my bones
I'm dying inside out-
death's always been repressed.

I wonder if I'm really content
with this solitude
Or how much longer I'll embody the pain
of many souls..
A gun without a bullet I hold.

Sigh...
I pray for a day in a world
where greed don't exceed necessity.
I pray for a life without debt,
warm tears and cold sweats.
I get lost in my mind
when the lights dance-

The sky sure looks beautiful right now.

Something in his eyes told me
that all he ever wanted
was to be loved.

FRAGILE!
HANDLE WITH CARE!
They screamed to me
Letter by letter-
baring the tomb of ****** scars
throbbing in his heart.

I can't help but feel their warmth
whenever they're fixed on mine

And I can't help but yearn their affection
whenever they're gone.

He licked his lips

His voice was dry

His eyes look sad

She wonders why

It's been a while
since this pen touched a page.

I didn't think of you any less, though.

The room is clouded with smoke;
Much like my mind, I think.
Only-
My thoughts are more poisonous.

Like the sun casting out shadows
I doubt
Definitely
That a love I allowed
to pierce me this deep
made me believe
that pain remedies the wound
of memory, and

That I would stay the same.

They keep reaching out
to me
Not knowing that
my arms are still bound
to you.

She was rich in spirit,
but he had broke intentions
And his heart, a runaway lost in the woods-
couldn't afford the rent.
Piece by piece he tried
digging into her mine
And most days the sun shined
as long as the diamonds did.

But as time passed I saw
with my own eyes, how he ran
Away from himself
Eyes dimmed by the loss
of the jewel he couldn't buy.
Reminiscent hues bounced off sapphires
and still, could not depict his blue.

I despised him for running
from the pain left behind-
the pain that led him
to run
Yet I couldn't ignore the presence of empathy
When he showed me
an image of a heart, emerging from the woods...
It was diamonds
dancing around a broken heart.

The moon couldn't illuminate
the shadows in his eyes
As he realised too late that night,
too late this life
that he-
was too broke to love her.

Would it be better
if I were shelved, or displayed
to the world; as art:
to bare my sorrows?

Would you accept
my aching presence, then?
I ask with my heart
Unseen and unheard; because:
My voice is bound
to lines and margins.

We might have been too different,
though we were evenly struck.

We bet our hearts
and lost it all-
Love was not our luck.

I swear I saw you in the sky today.
Up there with the sun
With a detaching atmosphere, as if...
You were a sun of your own.
Whether it was your voice in the waves
melting me into rooted rocks,
Or my own mind drifting to the clouds-
I don't know.

I hurt you
You hurt me
Fault is not involved-
Let the truth be.