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Natalia Corral Mar 2015
What is the definition of life to you?
After all we do…
the only thing that is guaranteed is ending up underground & all we know will be
bleak.

There is many reasons people come up with to let go of life
Life is an amazing thing
Many innocent people die everyday
& many people take their own lives & fade away
Needless to say, many people need to learn to appreciate the gift of life.
It’s simple, just love.
First start small.
Love small things; be aware of the tiniest details.
Love the way ants make a line to their home
Love the colors the sky shows when it is six o’clock
Love the song that made you feel something

The moon borrows light from the sun just like our lives are borrowed for a while
The sun will come out & we will not be able to admire the moon
but that didn't stop it from giving us light in the dark

The world is here for us
It is our sanctuary
We should learn to love it like our mom & dad
who have been there for us always helping us when we hit the ground
But they are not the only ones there
when we fall to the ground the world is there to be our standing ground
that is where it all starts

Imagine not having where to fall when all you know is going wrong…

Wake up in the morning, make some coffee, & go outside & talk to the world
when no one is there to listen to your stories the world will listen because it’s there for each & every one of us.

Although we humans do terrible things to the world, it still manages to survive & be our home
Although people do terrible things to you, prosper on your own because there are many things in this world meant for you to see.
Dec 2014 · 538
F*ck the police
Natalia Corral Dec 2014
Land of the free
Help those who can't stand on their feet
Where's the ******* police?

White or black
You racist *******

If Reincarnation is to come close,
I hope you’re born with a darker skin tone.
So you can see what it feels
to be stabbed in the back
because you’re black

We lack good policemen
& don’t tell me there is
because there isn’t

For the “good” policeman
I say “Take a stand. Take their
black hand & help ban
this corrupt system!”

Don’t say they’re not alone
& on their own
Don’t say the situation is unknown
because you keep beating the black
until they have their own tombstone

You betrayed your badge
& it’s honor…
You all condone
the segregation
in this nation.
Dec 2014 · 605
Fuck the police.
Natalia Corral Dec 2014
Land of the free
Help those who can't stand on their feet
Where's the ******* police?

White or black
You racist *******

If Reincarnation is to come close,
I hope you’re born with a darker skin tone.
So you can see what it feels
to be stabbed in the back
because you’re black

We lack good policemen
& don’t tell me there is
because there isn’t

For the “good” policeman
I say “Take a stand. Take their
black hand & help ban
this corrupt system!”

Don’t say they’re not alone
& on their own
Don’t say the situation is unknown
because you keep beating the black
until they have their own tombstone

You betrayed your badge
& it’s honor…
You all condone
the segregation
in this nation.
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Simple//
Natalia Corral Nov 2014
I see you.
You’re like me.
You walk around like
“Nobody can mess
with me.” I see it.
I can tell that you
have things that you
don’t tell others.
Things you keep to
yourself.
You don’t trust people
& you’ve been
through some ****.
Well guess what.
I’ve been there too.
That’s why I can spot you.
I like you.
Let me help you.
I can make you smile.
Please don’t ignore
me after you told me
you like me.
I don’t want to play games.
Tell me how you feel
& show me that you care.
You talk to me one
day & the next it’s like
I’m the prohibited apple.
You used to stare at me
& smile, was I a fool to fall
for that?
Your eyes looking at me,
your lips smiling at me.
Made me feel special for
a while there.
I don’t know if I should
fight for the things I want
or just give up.
Nov 2014 · 529
Self titled pain
Natalia Corral Nov 2014
Empty state of mind?
I see everything in black & white.
The sun has already had a great
day & it's already going away.
What have I done all day?
The sun sets & it looks like
paradise to me, but when it's gone,
everything suddenly comes back.
  
Darkness, my greatest friend.
How are you? Come to see how
I'm doing once again?
Don't you worry, I've missed you
greatly, but there's always a
part of you with me.
Oh dear old friend, let me
tell you about my pain.
Now that I'm older,
I desire to start over.
The child inside can't help
but drown in all the tears
the pain has brought.
Insomnia intensively active
Trying to find my way.
Not I knowing if I'm right or wrong,
Not knowing what going on.
Nov 2014 · 487
Self titled pain
Natalia Corral Nov 2014
Empty state of mind?
I see everything in black & white.
The sun has already had a great
day & it's already going away.
What have I done all day?
The sun sets & it looks like
paradise to me, but when it's gone,
everything suddenly comes back.

Darkness, my greatest friend.
How are you? Come to see how
I'm doing once again?
Don't you worry, I've missed you
greatly, but there's always a
part of you with me.
Oh dear old friend, let me
tell you about my pain.
Now that I'm older,
I desire to start over.
The child inside can't help
but drown in all the tears
the pain has brought.
Insomnia intensively active
Trying to find my way.
Not I knowing if I'm right or wrong,
Not knowing what going on.
Nov 2014 · 279
Save me
Natalia Corral Nov 2014
We live everyday the same,
yet everything seems to change.
You're not by my side this time,
when you said you'd always be there.
All I see around me is people going
on with their lives, breathing
perfectly while water is filling my
lungs. I'm drowning in my sorrows.
I need you here this time.
You need to be here for me.
Come back and save me.

You're the one that knows me best,
I thought you weren't like the rest.
I guess I was wrong to think
you would love me forever and
never leave my side.
I will swallow my pride.
I'm sorry for pushing you away.
There will come a day
where i won't be so insecure
about myself.
Please come and don't leave me again.

I am isolated, victim of my own self.
My mind has killed the hope I was
holding on so dearly to.

I am in a dark room.
There is no windows, no walls.
There is only me and
my thoughts.

Please come save me,
you've done it before.
Please, I need you once more.
Oct 2014 · 389
Better than penguin love.
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
You gave me the excuse
that the world doesn't
revolve around me when
I asked you why you got so
distant, but baby..
You're my whole world &
I love you more than a
penguin loves it's
true soul mate.
Oct 2014 · 254
My sunshine
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
As time passes by I
realize I need you more
than the moon needs
the sun to shine.
Oct 2014 · 322
To be or to disappear?
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
To be or disappear?
All I see around me is people
with frowns on their face
& no joy in the world.
Is this how it's going to be?
I'm not an adult yet &
all I have ever known
is to deal with all the sadness in
the world.
I don't know.
What do I do?
Isn't the point of life
living prosperous & happily
surrounded by the people I love?
Working hard to achieve success.
But what does all that come
down to?
You live your life, whether you're
happy or sad, judged by the entire
world. Trying to do better everyday
for your own good.
But at the end of all that we all
come to an end.
Oblivion.
It won't matter what we did
with our lives.
It won't matter if we were rich
or poor.
It won't matter what kind of
clothes we wore...
So why am I still fighting this battle?
Can you please let me go?
I don't want to live anymore.
To be or to disappear?
I know the cost of life, it's pain.
Not being entirely happy.
But what is the gain?
So I ask again.
Why am I fighting this battle with life?
With destiny.
With the future.
Why am I still making the effort?
Please let me be happy...
But my happiness involves not being here.
Oct 2014 · 409
Fucked up once again.
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
I warned you.
I told you.
I informed you.
I repeatedly told you
again & again.
You should of see this coming.
This has happened before.
I'm surprised it took this look
to happen again.
Now I've lost people once more.
But it doesn't hurt.
I have become immune to this feeling.
I never mean to do the things I do
that hurt you.
I don't expect you to forgive me.
This is the way I am.
I don't try to be this way.
I am a compulsive liar.
I make up things that aren't real.
I don't care after I've hurt people.
I don't worry about others.
I don't love my "loved" ones.
I am a reckless teenager.
The most cliche of phrases.
How cliche that I use cliches.
I don't want to be alive but I don't want to die.
What to do with my life?
Take it, make the best of it?
My thoughts don't even make sense anymore.
I guess I'll just go with the flow.
Oct 2014 · 281
Selfish.
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
The fact that the world
goes round & round,
doesn't mean it revolves
around you.

The fact that you
love her, doesn't
mean you can control
all she does.

The fact that she's
your daughter,
doesn't mean that
you can decide
what she's going to
do for the rest of her life.

The fact that I loved you, doesn't mean that I'm going to let myself
think about you everyday & want you back.
The fact that I needed you & you weren't there, does give me the
power to complain, because you said you would always be there.
The fact that I care more about others than myself, doesn't mean
that you can step over me & take advantage.
The fact that I am writing this about you, doesn't mean that I still love you. It means I am strong enough to let go & realize that I deserve better than you.
Oct 2014 · 305
Every night
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
The way that I feel lonely is the way the moon does.
It is forced to see the earth every night &
it sees the people experiencing new
things together. Loving one another.
But the moon can't help but be happy
for them even if it's miserable all on it's own.
The truth is that everyone needs that
one person in their lives to bring them
joy, but the moon doesn't have that,
although one time it did. But it knows
it is beautiful & it shines bright in
the night standing with pride.
The moon knows it is special & some
people on earth look up to it.
People admire the moon & even
though the only thing they can do it
look up & look at it, they love it.
The moon is loved by lots of lonely
thinkers of the world.
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
As I walk down the street
people look at me, so less
discreet. Why are people so
judgmental?
Everyone always tells me
to be myself because I am
me& no one else is.
But as time passes me by
I come to see people looking at
me strangely. Why are people
so rude? Maybe you don't
like what I'm wearing but it's
not affecting you in any way.
I might not like what you're
wearing but I am mature & I
will respect you & will not
judge you. You are you.
The way you dress is your
way of representing your self
& showing who you are.
BE yourself, but inside
society's standards. You
can't wear this. You can't wear
that thought. Why do you
always wear black? You look so ugly.
WELL I WEAR BLACK BECAUSE I LIKE BLACK.
& who do you think you are
that makes it okay for you
to tell me that I look ugly in what I'm
wearing.
If I wear what I want, I get judged.
If i don't wear what I want, I get judged  
because I'm not being me. Because I'm being fake.
If I have gauges, I get judged.
If I have tattoos, I get ******* judged.
& that's not all.
If I don't do some sophisticated job like
being an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer, I will
be judged because what I want to do with MY life
isn't good enough for you.
I seem to never done anything right,
but the truth is that... I'm not doing anything wrong..
~I go to school.
~I work.
~I get good grades.
~I get so stressed out but I keep going
everyday like if I'm okay.
~I plan on going to college.
~I am trying so hard to be happy.

But you don't like where I work.
But you think my a &b;'s aren't good enough grades.
But you think working and going to school full time
is not ******* stressful at all.
But you don't like what I'm going to college for.
But I can be happy.
It bothers me so much that there
is people out in the world that judge
you 24/7.
But I will be happy even if you're
always ******* rude,& judgmental
because even if society
doesn't like who I am...
You can't break me.
Oct 2014 · 297
I wave you goodbye
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
Looking out into
the ocean it comes to
me when you would
kiss me.
The way you would
grab my waist & pull me
close with a strong grip.
You wanted
me close to you.
Bold and sure like the
waves roaring you would
hug me.
Kissing me
gentle & lovingly
like mother nature
make the waves
seem at night.
But now after the
hurricane has passed,
I miss your love
oh so much.
Oct 2014 · 176
Untitled
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
That feeling when you know you ****** up, try to fix it & can't.
  
That feeling when you realize you thought you could do it & can't.
  
That feeling when you notice you don't have as many friends as you once had & feel lonely as ever.
  
When you try to make someone happy when you hurt them in the past & they don't want you.
  
When you don't care what happens to you anymore.
  
When your best friend becomes a stranger....
  
When you need someone there for you & your "friends" don't have time for you.
  
When you honestly don't give a **** what happens next.
  
When you want to leave & never look back, because in the end you're lonely & there's nobody there for you anyways.
  
When you go through so many things in the short amount of years you have lived & can't bare the thought of the future.
Oct 2014 · 231
& I wish I had my sequel
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
I have drank a little too much.
I have smoked too much.
I am just going with the flow.
They say drugs and alcohol are bad for you,
but they help you forget your troubles
for a while and I consider that a gift.
      
       I don’t know all the people at
this party. It’s my best friend’s celebration.
Birthday’s are becoming more and
more important to me, because after
all the things we've been through, after
all the desire of wanting to let go of ourselves
and inviting death into our lives, we are still here.
      
        There is a certain boy at this party.
His eyes are like the rays of the sun, shining
through the darkness. His smile is making me
melt. He keeps glancing at me and looking away.
What is he thinking? Does he like me?
Does he think I look attractive?

      I am sitting outside with drugs in
my hand. Looking up at the sky, thinking about
everything that I have done with my life.
Carlos comes outside and sits next to me.
He asks me why we broke about 2 months ago.
I really don’t know what happened between us.
We start to argue about what a ******* up
girlfriend I can be. We come to the point where we
are yelling and suddenly he leans in and kisses me.
      
       What is Robert doing right now?
Maybe getting out of work. Going home?
While he is living life happily, I am kissing
some other boy. What if he knew what i was doing?
That would save me a lot of trouble trying to end
the relationship.
      
        Wow. I am a ****** up girlfriend.
Whatever, I am drunk and high. I have an
excuse for my inappropriate behavior. No, this is
wrong. I love Robert. I shouldn't be around any
guys when I’m under the influence. This has
happened before and I said I would not do it again.
      
        Well… Robert doesn't have to find out.
Nobody saw me and Carlos kiss. It was nothing.
I’ll just go back inside to the party and pretend
everything is fine, like nothing happened.
      
        I am walking back and forth through the party
looking for my friend Ashley,
like a lost puppy. Instead i find the
mysterious boy I like. He stares at me, smiling.
He takes a sip of his beer and starts
to approach me. He’s like the kind of
guys you see in the movies that you wish
you could date in real life.
      
        He’s so attractive. He talks so peaceful
and fluently like the ocean waves on a perfect day.
The way he is makes me want him. As he keeps talking,
all I do is stare at his lips wishing he
would kiss me. I want him to want me. I want
him to grab me by my waist, pull me close
to his body, and kiss me hard. As I finish telling myself that is not going to
happen, he grabs my head and kisses me.
“Sorry, I just had to,” he tells me.

~The rest of the night is a blur.
I don’t remember the whole night, only some parts.
You know when you watch a movie and
there is an intimate scene between two
characters, but you can only see some things?
Like them kissing intensely, or when
you know they are making love but can’t
actually see it? That’s how I remember the
rest of the night with that
mysterious guy.~

        For some reason I do not feel bad
for what I did with that guy. And I call
him “that guy” because we didn't ask for
each other’s name. Stupid, I know. I will
never get to see his shining eyes illuminate
my dark world again.Well at least I had a night
with him… right? I should regret it, but I don’t.
I’m sorry Robert.
But am I really though? I know I should be,
but I enjoyed it too much.

      That night was a night like they interpret in the movies.

      And I wish I had my sequel.
Oct 2014 · 221
Growing up
Natalia Corral Oct 2014
“I should get up,” she says.
“This bed is depressing me so more.”
“What’s the point though,” she thinks.
Feeling the need to cry,
but not being able to.

She thought growing up would be much
different. The feeling is far from the happy
endings in the fairy tales.
Becoming an adult and taking
on responsibilities is not how she thought
it would be. She didn’t think it would
be so complicated to have everything
under control. She is so overwhelmed with life.

She can’t feel sadness anymore.
She got used to this horrible feeling.
She’s immune to it now.
Things aren’t getting any better.
All she does is worry about tomorrow.

This time, a year ago she promised
herself she would be happy by now,
but things are so out of control.
She tries to hold on to hope,
but her thoughts betray her.

The quiet is all too deafening,
but that’s all there is now.
Quiet, loneliness, and sorrow.
“Why didn’t I see it from a mile away?
How did I not see it getting worse?” she asks herself.

There she sits in solitude trying to work
out her troubles, not knowing what to do.
It’s hard to get anywhere with an unstable mind.
It feels as if this is how it has to be.
Lonely, always in pain.

People stare at me while I’m smoking a cigarette.
They say I’m too young to be doing that.
But I am also too young to be feeling this much pain.
To suffer everyday.
I know smoking is bad,
but the reason I smoke is worse.

Damage done to her darkened heart,
the child inside can’t help but drown in all
the tears the pain has brought with it.
The child inside is gone.
The only thing there is now is the
adult woman not knowing how her
life is going to turn out.

The day full of sunshine, the birds are
chirping cheerfully, but our feelings
are as colorless as the sky on a rainy day.
Walking down the street, emotionless
like the teenagers in old, sad movies.

“Life cut me along time ago,” she says
as she cries eternally.
“With a blade made out of darkness,
but the wound hasn't healed.
It has been made to bleed forever.”

— The End —