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1.1k · Nov 2012
Boys with girlfriends
Mzuli Nov 2012
You’re his
And he’s hers
You can complain in song or in verse
It doesn’t change anything
You’ll remain his
And you’ll keep hoping he’s not hers anymore
You want to know why
It’s because he didn’t ask
He didn’t even need to try
He didn’t come to you
You gave yourself
Forgetting selfish feelings
And pride for him
Now you’re repenting
Or you’re pretending to
You cannot be feeling remorse
For what your heart –
Or maybe it’s your brain –
Decides
It’s not your fault,
That’s what you keep thinking
And really you should
There is no reason for you to take the blame
For what?
Falling in infatuation? –
Love is too big a word
And you know it
And she’s still there
A big blotch of jealousy
On your idyllic picture
A stain in your happiness
You have to live with her
Even better, you have to accept
That even when – if – she gets out
Of that picture
You can’t do anything
You don’t want to be that girl, do you?
Pride is slowly creeping back up
“I’m not taking anyone’s sloppy seconds!”
“I’m better than this.”
And maybe somewhere in there
Is a little concern for others
“I can’t do that to her.”
“What will people think?”
Oh, there we have it
You don’t want to be known
As that girl
You know her,
Of course you do
You might’ve laughed at her
You might’ve pitied her
And now you want to avoid becoming her
Following like a dog an inexistent trail
But you know that trail isn’t there, right?
You’re better than that, right?
Is that what you tell yourself
Lying alone in bed at night
In the violent imprisonment
You suffer?
You’re not better that that, dear
What do you see in his looks and his smiles?
What do you hear in his words and in his laugh?
You see it, right?
That invisible thread that ties you together?
Of course you do
He’s perfect for you
you have so much in common
I’d urge you to forget him
But you feel special
You think he actually likes you
He doesn’t
He’s playing
He’s a guy, just like the others
I hear you
“No he’s sensitive”
“No he’s my friend”
Friend?
I don’t think so
You are not friends
You’re that girl he sometimes talks to
Especially when he needs something
You’re kind of weird
But always willing to help
And it’d be sad
If you were only that way with him
But it’s okay, I guess because
You’re always like that
That’s one good thing
About this destructive relationship
I’m happy you’re not changing
I’m happy you’re the same girl
The same person
But I wish you weren’t so smitten
I wish you didn’t care so much
510 · Mar 2013
Our world
Mzuli Mar 2013
I'm taking in the world bit by bit:
The smell of grass after a shower,
The clouds in the sky floating away with my thoughts, my hopes, my fears
The sound of laughter pouring into my ears as I feel Nature's light on me
I'm taking in the world bit by bit:
The trees I want to climb
And the hills I want to roll down
The crickets in the night giving me a background music I want to dance to
I piece my world together bit by bit
With the Sounds of Nature
And the Lyrical Lines of Myles
And I see you:
An amalgam of the things I know
A symphony modelled after my own tiny orchestra
A ***-pourri of the scents I keep hidden away
I invent this world you've given me the keys to:
The smell of your skin after a shower
The clouds in your eyes as you speak about your ‘tough childhood’
The sound of your laughter pouring into my ears
And tickling the fabric of my soul
I invent this world where we exist
This world where we are infinite
This world where there are no eyes on the walls
And no ears on the doors
No dismembered limbs
Pointing
And no disenchanted mouths
Judging
I invent this time-less space
This boundless place
We can watch the sun rise
And write a rule book
We can talk for hours, days, or maybe minutes –
We’ll never run out of
Words or time
We can walk,
Endlessly explore
The abysses of our world

— The End —