when your knees fit into their puzzle piece places,
tucked away
into the bends of my legs,

and your fingers rake across the rows of my ribcage,
suddenly stopping
the heart beating beneath,

when your fruit flavored breath,
mixed with faint cigarette,
hovers delicately
between our lips,

and your voice
and your sigh
and your hips
and your eyes
dance circles in my sleep-deprived mind,

I become the witness
to the marks of perfection
being etched throughout the night.

and in our tossing
and turning
and fervent destroying
of any torturous distance
we find,
our souls are colliding,
our hearts intertwining,

and I'm cursing the time
that forces goodbye.

I lost a part of me
on the night that you let me
stare deep into your eyes,

This semblance of control that
I'll lose time and again
with your every whisper and sigh.

And no matter the distance
and no matter the time,
my thoughts are incessantly encompassed in you.

And I can't help but wonder
if as you're pulling me under,
it's precisely what I need you to do.

But the fear of the fall,
despite the beauty of it all,
reminds me of the possible pain.

So you'll have to chip away at my resolve
and gently pull down my shield,
embracing imperfections that remain.

Because in your absence, I've found that I'm absent
of every emotion
indicating that I'm still alive.

And I think I may need you
to revive my whole being,
I may need you just to survive.

With a shining smile
and erupting laughter,
the crowd's engulfed
in my one-liners and easy joy.
We're singing
and swaying,
and I'm participating.

I play along throughout the day.

My award-winning role,
I am
the actress.

So take a seat in front of my stage,
and prepare your hands for a burst of applause

as I fall into fiction.

I will memorize these lines,
I will become my character,
I will forget the reality of
happily never after.

The end.

Your fingers felt their way through my belt loops
And your palms paced slowly on my hips
The warmth of your breath heated my neck
And your lips lingered, in search of a place to rest.
As our legs
and hands
and hearts
intertwined
Sleep took you captive for the night
and I slipped away to settle into the dreams
That never felt quite as real,
and consequently,
not as sweet as you wished me,
so it seems.

small talk and voices abound as
swarms of somebodies walk past.
i tune them out,
allow the words to dissolve to nothing but murmurs.
time passes slowly
sitting in a cold, hard chair,
tapping my toes and sketching stars,
writing and rewriting
the grace that I need
and stenciling it on my skin.
time passes slowly
sorting through files and answering calls and
smiling at strangers with obvious intentions,
but their surface-level adoration
only makes me laugh.
because you love what matters.
time passes slowly
my feet hit the pavement
in steady rhythm,
drops fall down my neck,
and the effort required only strains my muscles,
my mind left free to roam.
time passes slowly

and then,

i see your face,
   hear you laugh,
      touch your skin,
          breathe you in,
              curse the time,

and all too suddenly, say goodnight.

and as i walk away,
again,
*time passes slowly.

I may be fragile,
but your forceful fists that
supposedly
promise my "protection"
are only bruising my
beaten,
battered
heart.
This cage you've constructed to
hold me home
is only making me
thirst for escape,
thirst for fingertips
   with different fingerprints,
and thirst for
a breath of different air.

I may be confused,
but your father-figure
illusions
and
delusions
only form frustration
and forsake the fire
we're trying to ignite.

I'm begging you,
release your grip,
if you want me to stay.
And if you don't,
prepare yourself
to watch from a distance,
as I run away.

you are an artist
let my back be your canvas
paint me through the night.