my life is a fragrant mess
filled with scents of the musty past
my head is dizzy with all the smells
that hit me with a blast
the moment i unchain the locked door
to the room with the perfumes
my legs shake
and collapse to the floor
overcome by deja vu
my memories are sad
tinged with a shade of blue
my memories are rarely happy
and none of them are new
for my life is morose and grim
saddened with self-pity
i write poetry to remind myself
life isn't all that pretty
i sit among a field of flowers
quietly picking stems
of those i find the ugliest
those i press to leather books
and to history i condemn
one for every broken heart
one for every locked door
one for every kiss we shared
until we fell apart.

we sprouted wings
reckless in our adolescent love
we flew into the sun
attracted by its warmth
we reached for affection and found one another
in times of uncertainty and change
we grasped onto the slim love we had
and forced it to sprout
to grow into a flower
that wilted after several months
we became heedless
of the warnings given to us
we moved too fast
and did flips through the air
because everything was alright
until we burnt and fell
a flaming meteor,
finally returning back to earth
"us" died a spectacular death
tragic and full of lessons

but
we have a second chance
we have learned our lesson
we have grown up and matured
and now
we can use our wings
to soar peacefully together
without touching the sun
we can fly at our own pace
we can embrace without caring
about the consequences
we are the legends that made it
icarus watches us from above,
and calls us angels.

fast hearts beat
with the rhythm of taiko drums
urgent yet peaceful
reassured in their consistency
every touch flattering
and flirting with danger
of the possibility of us
whispering longing dreams
through the haze of sleep

i wish for the future
of when we no longer need
to dance around one another
when we finally embrace
with no fear for the future
when i can hold your hand in mine
and peacefully drift off to sleep
with only dreams of happiness
and your heart beating close to mine

wait for me,
just a little longer
my dreams lie with you
and my future as well

at night i tend to toss and turn
and tangle up my sheets
my dreams are filled with broken glass
shards littering my feet
it kills my heart to see the stars
when im so down and beat
if the moon could tell me secrets
those secrets would not be sweet
and my heart understands that the love
we have is bittersweet
goodnight, my dear lover
i will miss you well
for my soul has become
obsolete.

weeping hearts fill to the brim with love,
bits of happiness seeping out of the cracks
constant shadows pushing my head down
but his presence shoves them away
im not good enough for him, they say
but i can still hope anyway
i wish my heart was good enough for him
but im damaged goods
he deserves better, they say
i agree wholeheartedly but
my heart still beats fast
my eyes cant look away
and i stay away
because i couldnt touch someone like that

bound by the sky and tied to the ocean
my soul clings to the freedom of blue
blue waves; blue heavens
i wish to soar
i wish to dive
i wish to breathe under the suffocating embrace of water
i wish to breathe above the kitten-soft clouds
my heart only loves the way my body glides through the pool
and the endless expanse of earth beneath me as i fly
i am made for something other than earth.

drift through the air
wonder if anyone knows you are there
sob with defeat as the wind sighs
you are a ghost, forever silent.