we cant have an opinion
until someone with a bigger voice
better personality and dominant position in society
says something about it
which is why
instead of summaries, reviews of famous authors
newspapers and companies are printed on the covers of books
quotes stolen from filmmakers out of context
advertised in movie trailers
celebrities used as poster-people for ads
the people we look up to
are used as marketing tools
their words taking over ours
until we take them as fact

he takes my body
abuses it with purple
finger-shaped bruises

i never complain
no matter how hard he grips
i long for his touch

he doesn't get it
why i stay even though he
abuses my skin

i whisper to him,
it's because i need your love
no matter how harsh

im addicted to
the way you used to look at
me like i was there

i wish for the past
wish that i'd never gotten
hooked on your dark eyes

take out all of your
anger on me because it's
what i'm meant to do

i love you never
sounded so harsh on my lips
but i'll always love

you.

relapse into
pain,
sharp teeth and razor blades
armed with self-hatred and nothing more but
the intense need for
pain,
masochism overtaking common sense
punishing my body for things others say
silently begging for
pain,
an attention ***** and a ****
if you self-harm then you're just desperate
why not just **** yourself and save all that
pain,
nails clawing at pale backs
bent over porcelain toilets at 5am
casually vomiting the contents of half-filled stomachs
from the day before
obsessed with
pain,
i don't like pain
but it's what i deserve.

false ignorance paints my face
politely declining fate's open hand
knowingly descending into the world of hatred
of sin and lust and thievery
i smile and kiss the devil's cheek
intertwine our fingers together and
delicately, he leads me to my damnation

blank, glassy black eyes
reflect my horrendous sins
i indulge in pain