I stare into the abyss
And wonder
How I could let someone
So worthy of love
Feel so unworthy of it
And slowly
As the seconds pass
They feel like hours
Maybe I
Have become the abyss
I’m staring into

One day you might look back and realize that
I was not as bad as you made me out to be
One day you might regret some of the sad
Words you said about me
One day you might come down and see the
Ashes of what you tore apart
One day you might think back and wonder
What could have been if you kept me in your heart
Yesterday I looked down and saw the ashes
Of what you tore apart
And I thought what a glorious thing
You’re no longer in my heart
But I remember the times we laughed
While my flames burnt in a deeper blue
Forever in love with your memory
But never again
With you

A love has to die
For another to be born
One heart has to break
To heal another one
There’s no such thing
As pure
There’s beauty in the odium
There’s odium in the beauty
Where resilience ain’t a cure
But a fundamental duty
- a flower has to wither to make space for others to bloom

The weight
Of your mind
Tears me down
Like blocks
Tied to my feet
In the water
It slowly fills my lungs
And my surroundings get darker
Bubbles quickly
Approaching the surface
I fade
And I wonder
If love should feel
Like drowning

Dear
You’re so afraid
Of stepping onto other people’s flowers
That you stopped
Planting your own garden
                      - get yourself some seeds

This illusion of
A wheel in my hands
While sitting unbelted
In the passenger seat
With someone next to me
I fathered my entire happiness
Dread
Anger
On
Is something
I can’t take anymore
So I’m gonna push him out
Of this ******* car
And turn my illusion to reality
**** being dependent
I’m gaining my power back
I’m gaining back what I love the most
Much more than I’ll ever
Love me
Or you
Or anyone else
                            - c   o   n   t   r   o   l