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 Sep 2013 Muted
M Clement
Welcome, welcome
Father and son
To alcoholics anonymous
And God bless us,
Everyone

There's little sincerity here
And I can't help but wonder
If that's what should be intended

Lost in a flurry of emotion
And misdirection
Turn feelings into anger
Set on high for 3 min.
Let stir

No one said this would be easy
And no one said this would be easy
And no one said this would be easy

And broken records repeat
Like a stutter
Mind open
No shutter

Attach words to feelings
Spread them on my brain
Butter

God help me to Love
For I know not what I do
And I do what I know too well

And in doing I forget
That there's meaning behind
Doing
And Spirit behind good
And evil behind bad

And maliciousness in thoughts
Sometimes
Care to weigh in?
 Sep 2013 Muted
Brooklyn
***** transitive verb
: to force (someone) to have *** with you by using violence or the threat of violence

It sounds like just a word to me.
But it's so much more than it's meaning.

To me it's red eyes and the smell of ****.

Like when I was no older than four
And heard the creak, as my step father opened the door,
And held me down as I screamed
But used his force as he slapped me.

And his eyes were red, as he smelled of ****.

I cried as I experienced hell,
And when he finished, he told me not to tell.

It changed my life.
It made me feel *worthless


So when I was older, and I thought I found the one
That was when the problems re-begun.

I wanted him to love me, and I felt like it was slipping away,
And I felt like having *** was the only was to make him stay.
I was half right

Then he left.

****

It sounds like just a word to me.
But it's so much more than it's meaning.

I got a call from my boss one day,
And he asked me to come over,
But when I got there, I smelt the ****
And it made me shudder.

I smiled, and said,
"You wanted to see me?"
He said, "I heard you were selling something."
And he told me that I looked pretty.

I explained the fundraiser,
But then told him that I should leave,
I was uncomfortable
With my surroundings

He pulled me towards him, and sat on his bed,
And kissed me.
When I tried to stop him, he said,
"You know that he's probably doing the same things with her."
And he was probably right.

Stunned and hurt,
I just sat and stare,
And he kissed me again,
And touched me there

"Please, stop" I said,
"I have to go."
He ripped off my clothes,
As I kept saying, "No"

He pushed inside my as hard as he could,
And I screamed as my body released crimson blood

And he slapped me.

I knew what was happening,
I knew it all too well,
And just like with my step dad,
I cried as I experienced hell.
And he told me not to tell.

RED
Like my stinging cheek, and body.
Like the numbers on the clock.
Like the freshly washed sheets were turning.
Like his eyes.

When he was done, It was 7:35.
I walked to the bathroom, and wiped my burning eyes.

"Stop crying" I whispered to myself,
And I grabbed my pants off the shelf
And put them back on,
Like I've done for so long.

As I walked out, and tried to leave,
He pulled me toward him and kissed me,
I flinched, and I couldn't look at him too,
Then he whispered in my ear, "You're good at what you do."

I ran out of the house and walked for a while,
I walked
      And I walked
              And I walked for miles.

It's been almost a year now,
Since that day,
When he took me back,
To when it was taken away.

****
It sounds like just a word to me.
But it's so much more than it's meaning.

To me it's red eyes and the smell of ****.
 Sep 2013 Muted
Andrew P Marheine
A wandering woman passed me today
And she was wearing your perfume,
Memories flooded my mind
Like a broken decrepit levee.
My emotion was withering away,
And I remembered our lit room,
The laughing and laying without time,
And then my heart grew heavy.
-
Blackened and purged,
You left traceless and a ghost,
A spectre that forsakes the shadows,
I see you when I needn't most.
Your darkened trails
That linger in the frigid mist
Remain spectral and withered,
Waning like the wind, so brisk.
The scent followed me home,
And here I now can't stay,
For pride and self loathing
Have caused all this decay.
I must bring about a solution
For this to be forgotten,
I must hope to breathe a new perfume,
And for happy life to be lost in.
 Sep 2013 Muted
manicsurvival
what's my pen name you ask
really?
if I wanted to say something out loud
nothing would stop me
I do-- say whatever I want out loud
but what I put on paper
is none of your business
because you couldn't possibly understand
 Sep 2013 Muted
Amanda Leigh
"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."

Human psyche
**** spurs inside of me
Why must you try me, hide from me
Yet parts of you still fly inside of me
Can't quite shake you
Not sure if I want to
Not sure if I know how to
All I know is right now there's a fae inside telling lie,
Telling me you're relevant
Telling me you're dying inside too without me

You torment me
Is this your reflection, sadistic satisfaction or contradictory affection?
Still can't shake you

Early bird gets the worm
I want to make you squirm

No mental capacity to see anything outside of you and I
how did you learn to hold me without knowing me?
Nothing physical, something transcendental yet so far from tangible

Test me
Undress me
Impress me
Digress relevance, find me
No, I can't let you have all of me

I want you to chase me, never displace me, die breathless without me
What do I want more? Your attention or affection?

Amazing flow, where'd you go?
One day someone will appreciate me and all that I think I know
Hopefully the same day I find the courage to truly display me
 Sep 2013 Muted
Brandon
I shake these insecurities and scratch away my skin
Close my eyes and bite deep until I bleed again
I know I'm never too good to remember but you'll never forget
The taste of it still lingers on nights strewn with hearts on fire
I cross my heart and hope to live
It's a disease I'm sure but I'm sick anyway
This passion is violent the way love repents
And darkness closes in on me while I'm in daylight
I can't see but I'm open to your opinion
I can't strand this imagination on ancient shores
They crash to me like ghosts and demons drunk on moonshine
Freedom is another word we made up
But forgot to put meaning behind it
I've stitched myself to so many pieces I'm bound to unravel eventually
Will you sew me back up or have you given up on this jigsaw puzzle
It's been so long I've forgotten the words and what any of them meant
I'm so alone it doesn't matter does it
 Sep 2013 Muted
Brett Atkisson
She said to hold on
And never let go
I told her I'm on for the whole ride
There were twists
And there were turns
But it couldn't throw me off...
Because I loved her...
And she loved me...
When the summer sun came out,
She went away until the leaves turned orange.
It was like she vanished...
Into thin air...
I didn't know why...
I would wonder what she was doing...
And if she was happy...
And if she was thinking about me like I was thinking about her...
If she still loved me like I loved her...
......
She told her friends I was horrible...
She told her family I was terrible...
I wasn't the only one she "loved"...
She left me in the fire...
She left me to die...
But....
Oddly...
My heart still belongs to her...
3 years went by so fast....
I never stopped to look around...
Never again...
NEVER again...
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