i watch them browse the magazines
wedding dresses
*** hints
fashion sips
a celebrity scandal
a celebrity beauty tip

i watch them consume calories
i see works about wars long past
fantastic other lands
lore of presidents long gone
I wonder if immortality for deeds done
warrants anything next to red carpet fashion

i see Archie
and that knucklehead crew
I see Simpsons, Wolverine, passing times
and somewhere
I can see me and you

wake up today
go to sleep tonight
there is no  hunger
go to sleep now, fool

you have nothing to add

the salt
the sea
destination is clear to me

there is swimming to do
but that won't be the hard part

when only your limbs failing
seems like a reasonable outcome
to your brain limping with indecision
your night time hunger spoken
with quiet inflection

is that you?
is this me?
I was someplace else
dreaming I wouldn't have to return

Does nothing in my dream count for reality?  

Is it time to do the dishes ?
How about the recycling?

Today can be another day
where the mind just plays
I keep my mouth shut
What the **** am I going to say anyway?

run my friends, run
I think I heard a noise
something I didn't understand
run, hide, commiserate on the unfairness of life

scream, tear, puncture all supposed enemies
yell, scratch . make your presence known.
but don't let them see
the fear in your eyes

Christmas lights at night
are cold
they are freezing
mesmerizing
you are looking at nothing
you are looking at something

comfortable, opening
sad, quiet
they shine on
illuminating the mirror
you are looking at nothing
you are looking at something

left to right
right to left
up
down
up down

over again
the two I can rely on
left to right
right to left

good catch!

knowing you're going to win
but still have to take that last swing

your arm is hurting
but you're relying on it for everything

the blood in your teeth
the look in your eye

they know you're not afraid to die

it scares them all
in their hearts
playing in their face

they know you're the evolution
of the human race

where are you swimming?

fool
you have less than no idea
where you're swimming?

you wake up in a vacant parking lot
someone is working your leg
eyes open now

more human than human
less human than one would pretend
given chance and circumstance

the wrong town
the wrong mind
wrong ocean to swim

this arm goes here
this one goes there
this door opens

this shirt is mine
this sidewalk will take me
this place is where I'll stop

this foot goes here
this foot goes there
this is what I'm supposed to do

this is not fear
this is not sadness
this is just this

the dreams are the worst
the panic the waking poker face can't hide
everything so casual, so careful
the smiling politeness of the storm inside

and sleep

here is not why
all the forks in the road
only you thought  you were clever
always choosing the reckless side

and sleep

you get away with all your crimes
so now what's the plan?
do you have anything left to do?
endless questions the next step

sleep will take you

what will you say?
if you ever have to explain yourself truthfully
eyes ahead
the traffic roar, the night

it's dark but no sleep now

on the edge of the overpass
in the crisp autumn air
your one way ticket to midnight
is just a single step down there

his pain and his childhood
boo hoo
sadder stories are on CNN everyday

so he has power
now he wants to make the world suffer
boo hoo

he could have used his great power
to help
but instead he cried in his cup of tears

he who must not be named
ok. I'll just call him coward
cry baby, ******, *****

he who could not be named
used his power to save no one
not even himself in the end

goodbye tom riddle
you did nothing good when you could
you will not be missed

you're a houseplant
you're an object
it doesn't matter what you say
no one is listening anyway

try to explain
getting nowhere
all this journey
just to get to nowhere

i see you hiding
not even sad anymore
silly emotion scabbed over
healing is a process for...

...something barely understood
that time is not your enemy
she is your friend
keeps you safe when you're scared


she smiles in her own slight way
as she casts down her smile
she will make those who have sought
to destroy you find her true ways

oh, you tricky
tricky
tricky

you think I don't see
I see more than you know

step up your game
your tactics are getting obvious

what does one say knowing wrong ?
lies drip from lips
the movement itself selfish
every thought designed only to one cause
whim is based on a side effect
the invisible dirt of every guilt possessed

the private glance in the mirror
the dulled fear
the private thought of who you thought
lied beneath the dull eyes
in a dark room with a mirror

all mistakes are smiles
yours to make
made and bidden
you took everything you could take
still breathing but unforgiven

eyes shoot open
they dart and see
brain changes gear
as it lumbers back into
this reality

not familiar rooms
filled with strangers
armed with fistfuls of lies
and what's wrong?
that is what you kept asking me

what's wrong?
I told you

nothing.

lying to myself
just asking the question from your lips

I'm going to open a restaurant that sells flavored cat blood
Build ice sculpture monuments to people never heard of
Crash drive a same model car into a rental center
I'm going to talk about the weather like it's always winter

I'm going to construct  a zoo with no animals
Burn down the trees and trap endangered species
Set bear traps in public places,  mock people with normal faces
I'm going to quip stupidly while tripping crippled old ladies.  

I'm going down with the ship, I have nothing to say
I'll hide in your bushes to surprise you with a cookie cake
I'll volunteer to help everyone just the same
Then I'll get drunk and not do a **** thing

I'll grab the yoke and be yelling
the nonsense of this life  
smiling as my teeth fall out
broken faced, all destruction and glee

I'll be laughing
The blood filling up the spaces of who
or where
or what  I wanted to be

the bottles are there
I clear them when I have time
but I don't know the color

it is three more blocks
plus the thirteen in my brain
I wait for a train

electric tracks quiet nice
all day long they will take home
strangers to places they never meant to go

everything wakes up
the brain
the dreams
where we're seeing our parallel self

that moment
of impending doom
that just happens
when your soul talks to you

this thing is heavy
sighing doesn't help the miles

the horizon across is beautiful
but I can't tell how far away

time to think with this burden
what I have to believe

do I believe anything?  

this blanket is heavy

give in
its right there
all the temptations
love
drugs
alcohol

pick your poison

just be ready for the hammer
because it never ends well

one would like to say it is was sad
though as you walk around
there is no words that come out
just another place
not sad really

just one more place

people still smile
even though you're broken
beaten down
nice of them
the notes of broken authors flash before you

there is nothing to say
to the cute one
a table away
the eyes drag your own sadness
into clear relief

you look away
welcome to nowhere
don't worry
there is no concept here of late

you wake up
i think this is a time zone
you scatter the dirt
off your body
for a moment
when your  pretty face isn't built to a snore
another moment
you're just dreaming for

waking up
consciousness hand in hand
I'm sorry
did I have something to say?
I got distracted.  
I have some kind of plan

at least I'd have you believe that way

finished a talking job
only had to lie a little
happy with results

no rainbows
no flowers
no parade

its just simply done

clear the tears
wake up
we're either
yes, we're either
dreaming or dead

up to you to decide which

it will never matter what
you chose
though

doesn't that question scare you?
i think about it at night sometimes

when the moment comes
could you do it?

what are you capable of?

when the eyes are pumping
there is no going back
there is no acceptable apology

Doom found us anyway
He cares not for our cries
He laughs as he drinks the tears from your eyes

I'd spill the blood for you
I'm not asking
we're way past that that day
i am your witness ...

i am your witness
that my hands were bound
my teeth were ******...

...but now I'm tired
I'm sorry, Susan
I truly did love you

you'll never know
I'm not so evil
to ever burden through again

like the watching bird
i still live
no one is watching

it's all a game of when

so you woke up
and the news
some terrible tragedy
somewhere

the coffee is hot
the workers outside are being loud with buzzsaws
the walk to the grocery is a pain
i mean its like a mile walk

but home again
turn on the computer
more death somewhere
something awful happened to someone you don't know  

some celebrity did something
some new construction thing
the neighbor's dog is annoying
the ebay order is late again

then you see a mirror
and there is just really nothing  looking back at you

what the ****
how did this work out
you're like a survivor
outside of a terrible fire

so you walk
there is no name as you look back
you had nothing to say
better stick with that

you're the hero
in the plot unsung
I'd like to tell everyone
but I too

am a plot undone

the room is comfy
the bed is comfy

you're trying to decide what to do
staring at the walls any longer
just doesn't seem right

stare
think
stare

water your plant
try to think of ideas
to somehow save yourself

they come in all forms
the enemies who win
the obvious
the abstract
the ones who know what you believe ?

is there a shield?
for the people you have let in
to who you really are?
when you want them to stop knowing you

when you see them
do you feel embarrassed?
for some reason ashamed?
maybe you feel like running

maybe you just stay in place

just smile

with each new plan everything falls to bits
with each new sadness more get hurt
with each new terror i have to get more ruthless

this isn't me
I'm not asking to be saved
I'm not sorry
I'm not  me. I got lost somewhere along the way

what I've become though
with all of it
no one should know my name
since I don't even know it anymore

there is real hate in my heart
it lies there and laughs
no swear words will expel it
its just laughing at me

as i fall
i won't you to know i can smell you

and yes
I'm scared
but more of whats coming out your mouth
than anything out there

you fancy men dressed of consequence
you untimely girls of sad circumstance

there are holes in you
where things crawl

smiling and leaving paint
ever so sly
just in case you forget
the mirror is only one shade of a lie

the reminder of sprayed colors
leaking
laughing
the dripping colors from some eye

when the tears mean nothing
and you feel nothing
try to bottle and store your something

remain unforgiven
in the secret place you hide your true face

in holes you crawl
in eyes you charm
when the juice is ripe dripping from your lips
just until everything is quenched

untimely gentlemen of sad circumstance
well dressed women of false consequence

the idea in your head
is the one you feel can't be said

it's the broken part of yourself
the pieces you can't find

your actions are harsh and rash
your breakage is too bad

you've lost the plot
you don't know the story of your own life anymore