the road in was mean
with its winding and
slithering silhouette
like the tail of the
hundred-year-old rat

a forgotten fortress
witness of warring
standing on its last legs
the moss fuzzing over
the walls like a disease

the empty throne sitting
in its grand red robes, is it
stained with dye, or blood?
only the long-dead king or
the hundred-year-old rat knows.

in the hole by the throne
there lives a rat. the one
hundred-year-old rat that
has seen conquest and contest
succeed and succession

and when the one
hundred-year-old rat
comes to pass on
no one will know what
has happened here.

serene - the water-surface
smooth as a silken sheet
seven shamrocks spectate
the shoreline.

only minute ripples, like
brazen bumps, built like
a beat to a song, rhythm
a rhyme wrought 'round.

the color resembling a
pale rose-white coat
laid on a bed of lush
green brushes and tree.

the pier provides a
picturesque photo-spot
its reflection as deep
as the hole in my head.

by the row-boat, there rests
a singular rubber duck
as yellow as the sun
on a sweltering day

as the cicadas chirp the
buzz of the critters and
animal-things and the
woosh of the wind.

chuck norris can save you
chuck norris can save me
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im stuck in a pit of my own grief
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im dangerously overweight!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! im slightly tired and home is still 2 block away!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

help! no one respects me!
no need to fear, chuck norris is here

what would happen
if chuck norris were
to disappear?

would anybody remain
to listen to me cry?

would anybody remain
to help me die?

would anybody remain
to make my life
a red carpet walk
straight to heaven?

my words filled with
notions of three
three things

the three wise monkeys
but I see evil
but I hear evil
but do I do evil?

three parts of psyche
id does desires
ego does thought
superego does justice
but do I need justice?

three segments of soul
logos thinks
thymos keeps
and what does
eros do?
it drives me on.

the third gender

do you love me?
that was a
rhetorical question.
the rhetoric

my logos
says that that
was a lie

my thymos
says that that
was the truth

my eros
says that that
I love you

can broken english
convey my broken heart
to you?

gag all the loose ends
prune the plotlines
distribute the plot armor
piece together the times
and places of everything

it's time for a happy ending
where everything comes to close
so celebrate before the show ends
there might me reruns or prequels
but know that the book has finished

it's a happy ending for all
everyone is smiling
you will never see them again
it's all over
this is the end.

i weigh twenty-one
and three tenth grams
so why does moving
feel so heavy?

like a dog tied to a tree
all i can do is bark
but no one can
hear me scream

why am i trapped
in a suit of flesh
if i am destined
to leave it?

a conflict is a
disagreement
over something

am I conflicting
over something?

do I deserve the
respect I get from
everything else?

am I just a typo in
the song of the universe?

are my efforts in vain?

forgotten - the failure
of memory.

would that be me?

the strong should not give the weak
their powerful weapons and implements

correlation: can kindness cause casualties
corpses create chasms in consciousness

nonbinary
who am i

he was sad
she cheered him up
and all was well
for now

i am not here
i am standing over there
i am not visible
i am in plain sight
i am not existent
i am on the floor
i am not normal
i am empty

my ego is full of
empty promises and
broken dreams.

my id is full of
lustful desires and
pictures of you.

my superego is full of
regret of the things i've done and
regret of the things i haven't done

you ask me to move a mountain
as if I could

you ask me to move a boulder
as if I could

you ask me to move a rock
as if I could

you ask me to move a pebble
as if I could

you ask me to move a grain of sand
as if I could

as if I could
move a grain of sand

then I could
move a pebble

then I could
move a rock

then I could
move a boulder

then I could
move a mountain

and I cant move a mountain

why should i learn how to push
if I don't even know how to pull

why should I run
if I cant even stand
on my own two feet

why see
if I cant
feel this

why should I exist
if I cant even think
thoughts for myself

why should i learn how to pull
if I don't even know how to push

it was all my fault
you didn't do anything wrong
I take the blame for everything
that went wrong

i'm sorry, i'm sorry,
too little too late there was nothing
nothing left to bury my head in
no shell to hide in

my little green armor
shattered to segments, serving no
purpose but to please. its making me
crazy.

the mistakes i make
are more than the amount
of seeds pomegranate
the count of pills
exceeding eleven
or was it elven

typos seep into pages
like pen ink in paper
a waterfall, a shower
not jentacular in itself
nor is it connect musing

sorry.

when she died
he didn't cry
he didn't mourn
he just said
"one less"

one less what?
one less life to care for
one less mouth to feed
one less thing to do
one less distraction to manage

one less person to love
one less spot in heaven
one less mother
one less spouse
one less tear to shed

why should i write
for you to enjoy

i write
to keep my feet on the floor

how does a bird
without wings
fly?

can clipped wings
glide?

does a finless fish
fall deeper?

it doesn't.

this is a memo, memoir
a memory of things right
before the big change
is there anything that needs changing
is there a flaw that you dislike
is there a imperfection
a defect that needs fixing

I need to make myself perfect
so that I can match you
this is a request for comments
is there a shortcoming that needs deleting
is there a fault forgotten
fix me, fix me forge me again
this is the foundation for a new form

i exist
i have set myself in the floor
i have etched my existence into the air
i have opened a door, i have walked around
i have affected the people around me and made them smile

they cried
they said no and ignored me
they walked away when i came close
they did not open the door for me or said hello
they trampled over me and my feelings and made me cry

he was taken for a ride
the track leading up was slow
but it was exciting nonetheless
and when it came all crashing down
the wind in his face; the speed
was intoxicating.

so he was taken for a ride again
the track leading up seemed slower than before
he had already seen these sights, he had already felt the cold air
and when it came all crashing down
the wind in his face; the speed
was intoxicating.

so he was taken for a ride again
the track leading up seemed to be even longer than before
and it felt as if it wasn't as high, and it wasn't as steep as before
and when it came all crashing down
there was no wind in his face
and he moved as slow as a snail

whatifineverknoweventhoughitried
itwhatifitallfallsapartrightinfr­ontofme
icantcomprehendevenifitsexplained
righttomyfaceicantrecip­rocatemyfeel-
-ingsforyouitsjusttoohard FULL STOP.

receptorial, over and under again

whatifyoudontremembermeevenwith
allididimstillaspeckinyour­everlargereality
somymindisfilledwithyouonlyyou
onlythinkingofyou­andineverwant
toletyougokeepyouinside FULL STOP.

everlargerealityeverlargereality

doyoufeeltheseemotionssw­elling
upinsidecanyoutellwhatimthinking
orisitjustachainofthought­satrainofideas
garbledrunningatyoulikeadeer
caughtinatrucksheadli­ghtsbut DASH-

why why why cant i be why why why

whataboutallthesearbitraryideas
thatihaveibelongtoyouandyouo­nly
icantsaywhybutyourebeautifuliwant
youyouyouyouyouaremineminea­nd
mineforeverandevereverever FULL STOP.

brace for impact brace for impact

keepyouinsidesafeinsidewideawake
andalivewecouldstayliket­hisdoyoulikethis
orisitkindadifferentdoyouhave
adifferentopinioni­triedsohardso
staystaystaywhereyouareso FULL STOP.

dont go away please stay stay stay

whywhywhyitreatedyousowell
whywhywhyikeptyousafeinsidejustf­or
youyouyouaremineminemine
whywhywhyarethesethoughtsinsidemyhead­
getoutgetout get out. stay AND?

hatehatehate i hatehatehate

willthesepillsfixmeorwilltheybreak
mefillmewithregr­etneverknownevertried
likethepomegraniteseedstheygo
downmythroatt­houghtsthinking
ofthemomentyouleavemebut HOLD ON,

too late too late too late too late

isaitallsoemptythereisnothinglefttohold
ontotogetagripalsur­facesboundbybricks
slipperylikeaneelsoelvenpillsinicantfeel
memys­elfandijustthinkingof
youyouyouholdondont WAIT-

waitwaitwait, waitwaitwait

leavemealone, dont, leavemealone,
dont, leavemealone, dont,
leave me alone, dont, leave me alone dont
dont, dontdontstopstopstopstopnomore
nomorenomorestopstop DONT STOP…

awake, awake, awake, dont go away

nevergoneawaygoneawrylikeatrainoffitstracks
snapcracklepopt­hesecracksinreality
takemeoffthesedrugstheymakeme
nothingandanyth­ing, everythingelse
everythingandanythingbutnothing INSIDE

hey, hey, hey, dont run away

imbackagainsocomebackbacktomestay
staydontrunawaypleaseplea­se
stayyouaremyonlyifthereisnothingleft
butmethanaspeckisprettybi­gsodont
dontdontrunawayplease DASH-

great big speck great big speck

maybetheproblemismeimightneedto
stopandthinkthatmightmakem­enormal
normalnormaliwanttobenormaliwanttobe
like jack, like trevor, like whoamiwhoami
whatismynamewhoisthis BUT;

thisismethisismethisismethisisme

withoutmewhatismebutahusk­ofskin
veinsfilledwithadrenalinehaveimessedup
haveisinnednotimeto­repentgenerational
defectsinsanenotnormal, i want to be normal
stopandtakeabreath, this is FULL STOP.

am i i am mechanical man
have i i have mechanical man
what is is what mechanical man
is there there is mechanical man

mechanical man, mechanical man
hear me hear me mechanical man
mechanical melancholy marauders this man
mechanical emotions mock this man

this is is this mechanical man
see it it sees mechanical man
shoutout outshout mechanical man
Inside outside mechanical man

mechanical man, mechanical man
mechanical men, mechanical men
over and over, mechanical men
again and again, mechanical men

am i am i mechanical man
are we we are mechanical men
what is what is mechanical man
is there there is mechanical men

mechanical man, mechanical men
this is, is this mechanical men
we see, we see mechanical men
we are, we are mechanical men

nuts and bolts, mechanical man
am i, am i mechanical man
scarecrow, scarecrow, mechanical man
help me, help me mechanical man

mechanical man, mechanical man
need not heed not mechanical man
scarecrow, scarecrow, mechanical man
nuts and bolts make up this man

gone, gone, gone was the mechanical man
with his mechanical whims and his mechanical hymns
nuts and bolts made up this man, and
run, run, running was the mechanical man
and his mechanical friends followed the man
they asked, mechanical man, what do you see
scarecrows, scarecrows, working fields of green
their metallic hands that reap but never sow

tell me, tell me, mechanical man
are we are weall just cogs in a machine
scarecrows, scarecrows, said the man
a cog can jam, a wheel could break
we are but men, so live, live like a man
robots are but machines, doing things
over and over, over and over,
over and over, over and never again