Smoke trails that never left the room
A soft sunlight through the two windows
So many memories crammed into that little room
The tiny kitchen where you cooked breakfast
With your tiny little shorts
You called me with your tiny little voice
Dorian Grey open on the bed
A cocktail of emotion on the counter

If there is one thing that I have learned
From the up and down
Is that there is no such thing
As wholly bad
Or wholly good

Even with the pristine white smile
The suave collar and neck hugging tie
The professional demeanor
And the bullet proof attitude
The devil is in the details

That creeping rage that beats itself
Against the steering wheel as the
Moon stares at you through the
Passenger side window

I've fooled you
And this I know for sure
Because I'm good enough
To fool myself.

In strength I am strong
In weakness I am weak

Things are as they are
That is a double edged sword
Things are as they are-
And things are as they are

Let that be a lesson to you
Beautiful soul
That we wander this landscape together
Despite the ties of seemingly conventional wisdom

It's the kind of voice that comes creeping
Much like the drenched leaves flattened
Leaving silent silhouettes on wet pavement
I've only felt the silent sickness from an intimate distance
I don't know who I will hear this time
But I can assure you,
The message will be
Poetic
In nature.

I was going to write something
But then I lost it.
****.

Suicidal tendencies, alleged attempt in 2011
(National Scholar-Athlete)
Bipolar with psychotic features, meds necessary
(President of student government)
Anti-social features, deceptive, manipulative, lying.
(Captain of varsity athletics)
Qualifies as a pickup. Forfeits all rights. Police involvement if necessary.
(President of an all-star rugby club)
Extreme aggression. Any homicidal idealization should be taken seriously.
(Trustee Scholarship to a renown private college)
Narcotics abuse. Marijuana, LSD, Klonopin, *******, Alcohol, Painkillers
(3.7 GPA)
Masks and shields intentions. Deceptive with professionals.
(Active volunteer)
I advise that he be admitted to a hospital immediately
(Participant in community)
Drug abuse counseling, medication, extensive therapy necessary
(Leader of peers)

Diagnoses fly like a panhandlers love affairs

Your inexact science is a disgrace to what I've created

A philosophy based on your experience

Ignoring the dynamic of the human condition

****** for feeling to much

****** for not feeling enough