There is another world
Found in sleep
Buried
A godless avenue
Beyond temptation.
Conjured past,
A loveless future
Stalking dread.
It's logic undefined
Your soft chaos sings to me.
Every hereafter
A new world.
Take refuge in the nightmares
Don't let me wake up.

The life I knew
Was no great wonder
No endless sunsets,
No dreams made flesh.
No great plans
Newborns. Sweet infants
Or expectations.
I was just a rotten
Soul
            lost to dark banks
Night skies.
Raw young kisses
Idiot lust
With no tomorrow.

It wasn't much.
Just enough to miss.

it goes
nowhere

this anger with no .
Compass.
So it sinks
into my gut.
Never digested,
Just a festering pain
Stored with
all the rest.
Cut into tributaries
Crimson with purpose.
The streams
they burn and flow.

This bed is like a coffin
With a burial each night.
I could tell you where
it all went wrong
But it wouldn't make it right.
I'm never worth
Remembering
You each showed me that.
With your pretentious self obsession
Words that always fell flat.
Each day is long and empty.
I cannot find my way,
So forgive me
Graciously
While I slowly fade away.

You see love.
You see kindness.
A version distorted
Through wondrous eyes.
Is it false representation
Or a temporary form?
What you see
won't keep you warm.
Keep looking and you will see,
The ugly horror inside me.

through streets like open sores
I'm here.
hissing chatter
Invading my skull,
creeps down my spine.
pressure building.
it's all in your head.
You are the only one here,
feeling like this.
I'm outside, standing in the street —
Sun on tired eyes.
worms pushing
under my skin.
9am.
the doors are open.
Your appointment,
try not to cry.
But they don't understand,
you look human.
"Don't you want to work?"
"What do you enjoy doing?"
no. good.
let me bite     my ****** misery
and pour it
                 down  
      your throat.

A fraction of joy,
think of me
As if
there were something to miss.
Bury flowers in my heart
So beauty

could take hold.
I remember
the look on your face —
So serious.
As if some treacherous
harm,
Were inflicted.
Let me wish
For no more,
As wishes
Are the death of
Rational thought.