Oh **** your heart!
It didn't care at all.
You left me in
The gutter
But couldn't stand to watch
                                          me fall.
The words we shared
Were meaningless.
All truths
Are null and void.
I guess it didn't matter,
You weren't the one being destroyed.
So run!
And call it mercy
If it helps you sleep at night —
You can rename an atrocity
But it'll never make it right.

I used to think
It was cruel
I was left like this,
That a lover should hear my plea.
But
I've changed my mind
Over some time.
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
I was a vital young man,
A wild stag
Unbound.
time changes everybody.
Now I'm bitter. I'm weak.
A heartless freak,
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
Think of your Beauty,
Think of your worth
"True Love" shouldn't be charity.
All I'd show you is woe
It's best that you know —
No woman should ever
Settle for me.
Save your kisses,
Your words.
All the effort you spend
I mean that
Affectionately.
Go chase your dreams!
As I fall apart at the seams.
No woman should ever
Settle for me.

From far beyond
I fought against the waves
Pushing for years
Against this ugly tide,
Only to be left a corpse
Bobbing uncontrollably
Without will or whim,
My lungs filled with brine
Dragging me to depths unknown.
I see not a solitary soul
Down here, amongst these
darkened fathoms.
Not even the stars — so bright,
Can reach me now.
Sinking into my own
Silent universe.
Was it better to have known company,
Only to feel its loss?
Years now.
Tens of years.
Maybe I was always alone,
Just a shadow walking human shores.
A dream that lost track,
A foolish daydream.
Now I am home
Hidden from everything —
Swallowed by nothing.

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

Cracks appear in skin
Lines swallowing light
As the years bleed
                    Into nothing.
No love will tend these
Wounds. This damage is
irreversible.
No balm will show me
mercy.
These fissures yield no blood,
No illustration of pain.
This is my final
Transmutation.
From stone — into dust.

I hid you under layers
Bright lies I told myself
In order to forget.
The words you sent
Once catalogued & treasured
Stopped my progress
Or the days that passed.
My eyes closed
Trying to unthink you —
A ghost in the attic,
The pain I can't be without.
I erased emails.
Messages.
Phone numbers.
My heart. My soul.
Yet you still remain.

My heart ran cold
When you talked about visiting.
Happiness, reality.
I choked
Realising that I couldn't
Give you a thing.
To act human,
To show warmth. To be natural.
To smile, act confident —
I have forgotten how.
Upon loving you,
I could only disappoint.