You made it clear
               with so few words
That it really didn't matter
Anyway.
Just words and nothing
more.
No more expectation.
No more truth
unpurchased. No deadly potential.
Nothing more than
       the weight of dreams.

Your flowery words
Mean nothing
in this circus of mutual
Worship.
A weak trade of ego
That leaves this storm of words
Redundant.
Speak with pain
Speak with passion.
Do not let these ebbing forms
Break under your
Pathetic will.
Give it all or nothing.

I carry a home inside me
So fragile, the floors
where I sleep are hard.
Little comfort or warmth.
A temporary shack.
Thank you for
the bricks and clay,
Mercy and joy.
A palace that one day
I'll lose — as you won't be there.

Cold. Hearted.
Fiend.*
You were not
mistaken.
I took
crooked vows
men you knew before
with candy hearts
Sweet as the lies
they call home.
This callous spirit — a
****** talisman,
My only protection
My violent core
Will shake
Your grey foundations.

Inner decay,
My defence no longer intact
Barriers broken.
Compassion tangled up
With the oldest revelation of pain.
Unrecognisable to my former incarnation,
I was a lover.
Desirable. Unstoppable.
Before the rot set in.
You wouldn't know me now,
If I am still "me".
I miss the love given
So easily.
I miss the gaze you gave me in that
Smoky nightclub.
I miss being held like I had value,
Golden against your heart.
To feel loved —
It's just a memory.

ain't the pain
ain't the cost
ain't the love
though love is lost
you were right —
It wasn't real
without you here
Joy feels surreal.
ain't the words
that tore my skin
ain't the void
I feel within
ain't the yawning chasm nights
ain't the dying of the light
ain't the urge to conjure blood
Or things I haven't said but should
The future isn't even kind
I beg you
Leave my world behind.

Each empty Street calls my name
Though I am lost to them.
I trod their alleyways
Looking for the world that was promised.
I found the empty chalice of love,
I found midnight fires.
I found mistakes.
I found disappointment.
But never the world.