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...
mp Sep 2013
...
laying on my bed for the whole day
not knowing what time is it
just holding a sharp metal
and slicing it down on my skin
while the blood oozes
i remember what they said
"*****" "fat" "useless"
did i do something wrong
well, yes
the mistake i've done
is being alive
now i know the reason
the reason why i'm doing this
no one cares and no one loves me
mp Sep 2013
i doubted you for the first time
but i just trusted my guts
now im the one whose doubting
doubting to be alive
mp Jan 2014
i tried to be perfect
i tried to make you smile
i tried to keep our
relationship on going
but what happened

you throw me away
you said you never wanted me
you don't want my love
oh! the irony
because the day i saw you
you said to me,
*"please let me love you, i crave your love so much"
mp Sep 2013
i was lying
when im okay

i was lying
when it doesn't matter

it was a lie
all i said to you is a lie
mp Oct 2013
I saw you
I feel inlove with you
You look back
your eyes dazzled

When you say my name
My stomach erupts
Like it has little butteflies on it
They say it's a metaphor
having butterflies means you found the love of your life

I wish that was true
We become friends
And more than friends
You ask me one day
do you want to have kids
I came to think of it

Maybe im not yet ready
no, i don't like to
His eyes look at me
Still dazzled, like the first time we met
But his eyes has it's understanding

I think i met the love of my life
mp Sep 2013
Why do people need to be alive?
When you're just a useless creation
But they said everything has a reason
I need to know the reason
Why am i so stupid
*-m.p.
shh
mp Sep 2013
shh
could i be excuse
excuse for all the lies
the lies that you said you care
and you loved me whole-heartedly

could i be excuse
excuse for all the bulshits you've given me
the cuts you made me to do

you never know how much my pillow is soaked
soaked with all my tears, and mascara
you never knew how depressed i am that time
the time you said you don't care anymore

you made my soft heart into hard one
because all those non-sense you called love
well im sorry
im sorry if im lame and not awesome

because i'll be here alone

(m.p)
mp Sep 2013
We are like stars
We still shine

But people think
The shine is forever

Maybe it will last forever
But only outside

What if they are dead inside
And the shine started to fade

*-m.p.
mp Mar 2014
You thought i was negligible
& it scares me
Because you think
I can't love you
& i can't make you love me
I can't make your heart feel
The same as mine
As this words
Run into my mouth so terse
Im becoming negligible
And I think too morose
That you won't love me back
mp Sep 2013
Is there something wrong
with my face
or
just in my attitude

Well, i'm sorry
you didn't tell me
i wish you told me
so we could move this together

remember you promise
we'll be okay together?
or the one you said
we will have tons of kids?

i love hearing you saying that
it makes me give some hope
most likely to boost my self esteem

but i see you
being happy without me
my heart breaks
but i don't care

i expected this
you'll leave in the air
i hope you'll be happy
because that what love is

letting go and accepting

italic-(m.p)
mp Sep 2013
shhh
could you hear that?
Of course no
because i
only me can hear my depression
mp Oct 2013
i was gone for a long time
and my battle scars got many
time by time
and it's depressing
but some people don't feel depression
and just make fun of your scars
can't hide my feelings anymore
i just burst my tears on the cubicle
i don't care if it's loud
i can't hide it
society is mean
and so are the people
if i could just die and **** myself
i do it
not doubting
mp Oct 2013
Nobody's give a ****
I mean nobody cares
Nobody cares if i mentally breakdown in front of them
Nobody cares if i enjoy being alone
Nobody, nobody

It hurts
Im not lying
Sometimes I'm getting tired to comfort myself
Well who the hell care
nobody

The voice in my head keep telling me
shut up, get the rope and hang yourself already
I trusted the voice
I didn't even think about it twice

After that
Flying on the ceiling
And Hanging myself
I see it
My true happiness

Being dead
mp Oct 2013
im in this state fearing oblivion
but i also want to be alone
i never know why my life is full of irony
maybe this is my kind of escape
or im proving something
proving that i could do it
i could win this fight
by cutting my wrist
by crying myself to sleep

i don't know
What to do anymore
i wish this is the end
mp Mar 2014
we all need a man
who's gonna tell us
we're beautiful
that he will spent his days loving you
that he will spent forevers with you
that he will never doubt loving me
that  he will be the sweetest
he all love your flaws
all your mistakes
we all need a man

— The End —