it’s my soul
it isn’t yours anymore.

they were both broken.
but the only difference was
that he took his anger out in music and alcohol
and she took it out in poetry and blades

two broken hearts
and two hurt souls
can’t make a whole

but oh, they tried.
they really did.

now it’s 3am and you’re
calling me up again

going on about the **** you
wish you said

the words slur
and the music in the background is louder

this is when i learn
you only call me when you’re drunk.

“i’ll burn your name into my throat
and i’ll be the fire that’ll catch you”

people told me it’s good to pick up the pieces and put them back together as a whole

but what if i don’t even want to?

my tongue was red from the jolly ranchers
and my lips were glossed with tangerine *****

we stripped down bare
and i could see your smile
when you saw me exposed

polaroid camera
flashes and lipstick stains on
porcelain skin

i cared for you
until i stopped caring for myself

the pictures are buried deep somewhere
in my room but your image is imprinted in my brain

remember when i said if the bottle landed on you, i was yours?

i’m still yours.

you carved constellations into my wrist
and painted my body with the blood
i thought it was beautiful
but i should’ve known that eventually
i would bleed out

you light incense in your house to
keep the bad spirits away, but i still don’t understand how you could let me in. my soul is frigid and inked filled. it is raw and violent. it is terror.

i tried searching up your birthchart when i was high on my sentiment, but ended up vomiting on my bedroom floor and didn’t finish. but i heard sagittarius’ are adventurers, do you want to take a trip to my anatomy? you could play the harp with my ribcage, and play jump rope with my heartstrings. i don’t mind the pain when it comes to you. rip my heart out if you want, make my bones become dust! i love the pain when it comes to you.

you made me forget that i hated myself when we were lying in that cheap hotel bed, laughing with our veins filled with adrenaline. we were drunk off each other’s energy, and i felt complete. mama loves you, and she wants me to keep you around. she doesn’t have to worry though, because i want you around too. for as long as possible. please don’t leave. please don’t leave.

the phoenix is a sign of renewal and i used to wear that bird’s charm around my neck. keeping it on me at all costs. i would hear death knock on my bedroom door, and hear the skeletons in my closet cry for more. i should’ve suffocated them harder.

i ended up losing that necklace after two years of having it. but i don’t think i need it anymore because you replaced it.

so let’s strip the world black and white, mon chèri.
and you can play the ukulele
while i write love verses on your ceiling.