you are a holocaust

you are terror

but you are so divine in ways that i cannot bare to speak

you are my salvation

but you have a car crash in your chest cavity
and hellfire within your irises.

i’m screaming ruination as your plump pink lips press against my stomach and down to my bare hips

you’re telling me the only thing i need to scream is your name, as i bite down on your shoulder to gain some friction

my eyes roll back as i arch my back
getting my body ruined by a dying god was never on my bucket list.

she pulls out her marlboro pack cigarettes and takes the slender cancer stick out and puts it between her lips

sparking the lighter, she throws her head back and wonders what all went wrong with her and her hades.

the bitter nicotine was filling up the emptiness he left inside of her hollow chest when he ripped out her heart and crushed it into a liquid crimson mess

she couldn’t pinpoint where things went wrong, but she knew things went downhill a long time ago. if she focuses, she can still
hear the rolling of his suitcase when he left her in that **** motel at 4am.

4am. it’s always 4am. and now she’s trying to **** some air into her heaving lungs when the clock hits 4’o’clock because all she sees is his silhouette.

you painted constellations on my body with my own blood and i thought it was a masterpiece. i let you take every part of me that made my body a whole, and i let you break them down into tiny pieces before you crushed them into dust.

i’m not trying to romanticize us or our pain, but when your hand wraps around my throat, i swear i can see the galaxy when the darkness consumes my blurry vision

i still moan your name in my sleep and fist fight the demons that you sent my way a year ago just so you can get back at me

how does it feel to ******* blood on your tongue? you’re trailing wet kisses on my bare hips as if you’re mapping the devil’s lands

and i think i’d let you break me again if you asked politely.

my heart is thumping against my ribcage
i feel the pulsing in my veins and the flickering between my eyes has me buzzing like a bee

my hands are cold
if they touch you
you’ll just freeze
and don’t even think about getting near my soul
you’ll just get frostbite

even though i’m warm flesh and blood
i don’t agree with the whole idea of love
and how we need it to survive
love has always been a kick to the gut
and i’m coughing up metallic

i’m begging you not to go
but shoving you out the door as i do so
you don’t know whether you should stay or leave
so you decide to take the easier route in the decision making
and you just leave

because you don’t want to deal with the anger i have towards myself and the resentment
so you leave
and i’m left with a hole in my heart

it’s faintly beating
but it’s still there

so i’ll let my therapist take a seat and get her notepad and i’ll lie about how i’m fine and you’ll lie about how you didn’t see the warning signs.

i really thought you were the one for me. i truly and utterly believed that you were my soulmate and we were going to be happy. i gave you everything i could offer and you took it like a greedy man and gave me nothing in return and left me with nothing. how selfish can someone be? i never knew how bad of a person you were until i saw your true colors. how are those other girls tasting now that you’re single and don’t have a girl waiting for you back at home? how are the liquor bottles tasting too? still getting drunk off something that’s not my words? you’re pathetic. you’re broken. and i cannot fix you. i wish you would see how much you’re hurting me. stop texting me please. i want to move on, and i think you should too.

it’s crazy how two years ago, we were calling every night just to see if we could see each other because we genuinely missed each other’s presence.

now we only call because we’re alone and filled with lust.