you feel too little
and i feel too much.

i still have the date of the day we met
and the date of when i told you i loved you imprinted in my mind

i still feel your lips on my body
and i still hear you telling me that
we’ll go through life together

and darling, i’m sorry i made things end too soon. and i’m sorry that i lied when i said i wouldn’t hurt you.

apologies can’t fix our love
but it can fix our closure

and i may be holding onto false hope
but you were clinging onto it

i’m not everything you wanted me to be
and i won’t pray for sanity, so baby, here’s a toast.

some things are better left alone.

i hope you never find my poetry
because then you’ll realize why i left
you.

darling, i know i claimed that i moved on
but you gratified on the walls in my mind
like it was the fourth of july

you said you trusted me
and said you’d catch me if i fell

and i know i never said i’d catch you
but darling, i’d hold the pain of your world
on my back so i could see you smile

i know you wouldn’t believe me and half
the things i say if you were to read these right now

but darling, my love for you is still as strong
and don’t tell me you moved on
because i don’t wanna know.

i have a throbbing aching heart in my ribcage that’s being accompanied by heaving lungs that are craving fresh air

i don’t know how many times i’ve lost my mind in the past hour, but i know i’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders.

your smile is making my knees weak
and it’s making aphrodite weep
it’s a beautiful reflection for firework eyes  

these are the haunted hearts we melt over
we’re melting on your cold tile floor
and i apologize for the mess

i’d wear your bones as a necklace
because i reek like death
and have your blood on my satin dress

but darling, don’t you know i’d die for you?

you have always burned bright, my darling angel, what is it that you’re hiding in that flesh and bone of yours? what is it that you’re fearing?

you always told me that you were so unloveable, but darling angel, i loved you until my bones began to ache and my beating heart could no longer fathom another person.

my hands playing with the fingers on yours seemed like a perfect masterpiece as we laid there on the trampoline in the middle of the night, talking about the world we never understood

you thanked the universe at night for it being me to you. i thanked the universe for finally being on my side.

but sometimes life can do terrible things
and now i’m crying to the thought of heartbreak while you said i ruined poetry for you

but being with you was euphoria
losing you was the unwanted comedown.

you make me so aware of how unfair i am to myself by loving you, it pains me to not be able to just rip you from my chest, to take you and pin you to my refrigerator just like all of the rest, a mere memory of what i felt for you instead of having you invade my body with thoughts and a touch that never breaks the surface because you’re more than two worlds away and it makes me feel pathetic.

god, you make feel like i can have the world at my finger tips because it wrapped so easily around yours. you drive me absolutely mad, but at the same time, you’re what keeps me sane. don’t ask me how that works, it just does, and only you can make me feel this way. i’m so lonely, and i lost almost half the time, the thought of you grounds me and nails my feet to the ground but tell me, how can i love you even when you’re not around?

you’re the boy of my ******* dreams, sweet and oozing with charm, ****, just take me now why don’t you? you don’t know how much i’d give to have an ounce of your love. you don’t look my way, most of the time it’s in my head if you do. i like the idea of being with you, but maybe it’s just the thought of not being so alone. i’m so sick of being ******* lonely, it’s devastating. it always seems to creep up when i’m in bed, it’s like me dipping my toe in the ocean before being utterly consumed by the tides

i hope you hear the angel’s song and i hope it helps you sleep at night because you being happy is what keeps me at ease.

you are somewhat of a ******* and how disgustingly i adore it. pathetic.

you are a moment too big for me. i’m caught up in insignificance but not because i deem myself unworthy of your touch, i just think you’re phenomenal. an angel in disguise. you live in a moment of ecstasy, and before i can even blink with my own eyes, you are gone in a cloud of smoke. you take my breath away like it belongs to you.

i always end up in a big pile of word ***** when it comes to you, words flow out of me like i had acid in my stomach and it’s purging into the oblivion. as it calms down, i’m now just sprawled on the floor, it’s freezing and my bones hurt.

so please deal with me while i talk about the universe and about a love that i may never have.