the thought of you
makes my heart flutter
but not in a childish way
the way that promises love
the way that promises heartbreak
the way that promises disaster
you're all mine
for now

I broke that boy's heart
that boy
who called me angel
that boy
who called me beautiful
that boy
who had blue eyes
that boy
who smirked his way into my heart
that boy
who treated me well
that boy
who told me his secrets
why did I do that?

I'm crying
and
I can't stop

my eyes are puffy
and
I can't breathe properly

sobs convulse my body
and
you don't care

I'm crying because
you're there
and I'm here
and all I want
is to feel your lips
on mine

I felt ugly,
stupid.
I felt useless,
empty.
you said sweet dreams,
goodnight.
you called me an angel,
beautiful.
and you made me feel whole.

I waved.
I waved twice.
did you wave back?
no.
you looked away.