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mosaicheartache Jul 2013
I never thought you would..
I didn't think they were..
I'm sure she still loved y-
I know I did.
I'm sure it's no..
I can't imagine..
Darling, I was all y-
She was not.
I never would've..
She did.
You picked the wrong..
Your loss.
I still love..
I always..
I don't..
No. No. **No.
mosaicheartache Jul 2013
I guess I'm so tired
Of trying so hard
& never accomplishing anything
I guess I'm just exhausted
It takes too much energy to love everyone
& try to be there for them
& I wish I knew what do do
(for once)
I wish I wasn't such a mess
I wish I had everything figured out
But who am I kidding
Wishes don't come true
Especially not mine
Why would they?
I don't deserve it
I don't deserve any of it
What have I done,
To be worth something?
(nothing)
I am nothing
I give nothing
I just take
and take
and take
& destroy every good thing in my life
& self destruct.
Every night.
mosaicheartache Jul 2013
You never loved me
You only pretended to
You only thought you did
Or
If you did love me, at one point
You don't anymore
Why would you
I'm no longer that naive,
Innocent
Happy girl.
I'm broken and lonely
& since you are too
Why would you want me to love you.
mosaicheartache Jul 2013
They say a mark of a true writer is being able to write about feelings they've never felt so vividly and accurately that no one would ever think the writer didn't know what they were talking about.

I beg to differ.

I find it much easier to write about meeting a beautiful boy by chance, bumping into him at a cafe after spilling my drink on him, getting to know each other after I offer to buy him a coffee as a hopeful apology.

I find it much easier to write about a perfect family, one that rarely fights and is always enjoying themselves.

I find it much easier to write about having friends who idolize you and aim to mimic your every move and entertain your every whim.

I find it much easier to write myself into lives I will never be able to live, than sit down with my own experiences and write about the lonely broken hearted soul with a family who couldn't care less and friends who don't exist.

I find it much easier to write about feelings I've never felt and places I've never been and people I've never  loved. Taking my own life to the pen is something I'm scarcely able to do.

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