the worst part of being an overanalyzing introvert is unintentionally ruining
every relationship
i have ever had.
i need to be alone to motivate myself.
being alone is how i create energy to take on another full day.
there's a lot of time in a day.
time i will never get back.
so i try my hardest thinking about how to make the best out of it,
which is kind of ironic,
because i'm laying in bed writing this.
wasting precious time.

when it comes to romantics,
there is always a huge price i must pay.
i will spend so much time debating
if you're worth my energy.
i will fight with myself over all of your pros
and your cons.
i'm not trying to push you away,
i'm trying to predetermine our relationship.
it's nothing against you.
i want to love you.
i really do.
but it takes me so much time to motivate myself,
i can't even fathom how i could double this minimal energy to propel someone else.
and the time i have spent trying to write this,
is time i'm wasting while you're sitting wondering what you are doing wrong.
and when i look up from this "poem."
you will already be gone.
and all i will have left.
is this.
some half-assed writing that will one day be dust.
just like you and i.
before i was even done writing it.