In more ways, than I can even start to describe
     You're ******* up my life.
I have many words for you,
     for all the pain you've caused me,
          all the things you put me through.
And yet I don't say them to you.
                                                                      Why?
Because unlike some people (you)
I can keep my mouth shut.
Something that takes a lot of self control
     Of which you have none.
But sense you're never going to read this; lets have me open up
     My true feelings for you.

To start, I hate you.
                                                     Actually-come to think of it,
             It's really as simple as that.
I don't think there's a better way to explain it,
     A "nicer" set of words.
I feel the opposite for you than  the dearest thing I love.
You think you're smarter than me,
     but I've figured out your plan.
I'm just holding back,
                                      ...waiting to see you fall on your face.
Waiting for the perfect moment when I can finally tell everyone
                     ...how much you ****** up my life.

You see, you're keeping him from me.
Something that's not wise to do.
There's only so much I can keep bottled up.
I had it all planned out,
     how everything was supposed to work out.
And then you had to go and **** it all up.
I can honestly say that I don't wish you any harm
I just want you as far away from my life as possible.

One day it will happen,
     I just have to wait.
Then everything you put me through...
     Will just be a bad memory.
Something I'd pay a scientist to erase from my mind
     because even having you as apart of a distant memory,
          in the back of my mind
               is too close to me.
I want you gone,
                    erased from my mind,
                                                 and completely, forever, from this day forward...
Out of my life...
                            ...before you **** it up some more.

I had a dream about us the other night
It wasn't one of lust...though I've had those as well.
But rather one of the simple pure truth
     Of the loved shared between us two.
It was one of our future
     Something I'd like to see someday soon.
We had our own little house to call our home
     Filled with warmth and life
          Not to mention a new little born.
The smiles on our faces, in this dream of mine
     were one's from ear to ear,
          paired with eyes that shinned.
The love between us two doesn't need words to explain
     but is rather shone in our own little ways
          of smiles and smirks.
Now I wake from this dream
Only to find that it is no dream at all,
But instead a life's path
     Chosen by you and I.
The path isn't one of ease and grace
But instead on that will try to tear us down.
It will test our strength courage and love,
     Try to pull us apart.
The path will forevermore remain one not of ease and grace
But it is also our journey.
Not just any journey either;
     But the hardest one of all.
A journey of two soul mates,
     Two halves to a whole,
          Who have found each other.
Who wish no more to simply dream of a life together
But rather make our reality
     Better than the dream.

Everyone who knows me
Thinks you ******* up for what you did to me.
Even your friends think you ******* up
     By breaking up with me.
I put up with all your issues,
     Didn't push you to do anything,
          Handled everything you threw at me.
Only to be met with "I can't stand to be around you anymore"
That's what I get
     For trying to be my best...for you.
After you said what you did I only asked why?
I'll never get a true answer,
     So I stopped asking.
You asked me after if I'd ever get back together with you...
     One day...down the road...I said yes.
Some people asked me why I would.
     It's because you've been with me through everything;
           Not exactly a hearts desire.
Now if asked the same question my answer would be
     Absolutely, with all my heart, forever and always...
          NO!!!!
I'm done with all the crap you put me through
All the words you said that hurt
     And the one's you didn't say...those were worse.
I'm 100% over you
     Mind body and soul.
I'm in love again
This time with someone who feels the same
He makes me feel more happy than you ever did...,
     Ever could...and ever will.
You and I had our good times
I'll never take that away from you
There was a time when you made me smile...that's gone.
It's been replaced, upgraded if you will
For where you made me smile...
     My new man does that and more.
My heart flutters, eyes brighten, knees go weak,
     breath quickens and body warms
At just the sound of his voice.
He makes me feel more than you ever did,
     His touch like heven on earth,
          His "I love you" more sweet than honey.
Goodbye, so long, farewell to my past with you.
For I have found a future with him
     That I'll much more enjoy.

Two souls intertwined
Neither one aware of the divine intentions
Just a constant pull to bring together
     A life meant to be spent in the others arms.

Their journey beginning with a simple smile and smirk,
     A light in each eye
At the love they both wanted to share,
But were too afraid to loose what was already had.
A chance had to be taken
     See if the minds eye was true to the heart
By the handsome man who first began with a simple statement...
     "You look nice today."
Replied with the woman then dressing how he liked, hair down and all,
Just at the chance he might look and see.

The journey has grown from there
Been blessed with kisses, caresses, and feelings like never before
While the path is long and bumpy
     With the other there anything can be achieved
No end will be found for the two souls
    Because how can an end be found
          To a never ending story?

I've liked you for awhile.
I just never admitted it.
     Why?
Because I was in a relationship that didn't seem broken.
Why rock a boat that's already floating.
Little did I know,
     It was sinking.

I admitt it,
     I wollowed for a little.
Honestly it was because I was mad at myself.
If my relationship failed once without my notice...
It could happen again;
     I could get hurt in the end.
Whoever said "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"...
     has never been dumped.

I took a chance,
Made my feelings known.
I've never been more happy
Than when you said the same back to me.

We've hit rough waters early in this relationship of ours.
I think it makes us stronger.
When we make it through all these troubles...
     that's going to be a wonderful time.
I can say how I feel about you then,
Without backlash equalling hell freezing over.

I say it now and hopfully soon aloud.
I truly love you and all that comes with.
My feelings have not changed
Not from the start and will remain the same til the end.
I just hope I can say all to you soon.
It's killing me to be quiet about the feelings of my heart.

I have the sudden urge to hurt someone.
Not just anyone; Oh no.
This person has a specific name,
     with a specific face,
          and only one identity.
I don't mean physically hurt either.
I couldn't ever hit someone;
     unless they hurt me first.
The hurt I mean is verbally.
You see...a bruse heals,
     or even a fat lip.
May take a few weeks and be an eye sore...
          ...but it heals.
Words stay with you and have a thousand meanings.
This specific person...well,
To put it as "is putting me through hell" is saying it lightly.
My turn will come soon...I can wait.
     Pacience is a virtue.
And I promise, each word will be like a dagger.
You'll wish I punched you,
     got it over nice and quick.
I warn you now,
     You messed with the wrong girl.

I'm not always good;
That's just how life is.
But just because I'm not doing something good in your eyes,
     doesn't make me bad;
It just means that you don't approve of my decision...
    for one instance ... or maybe multiple.

I can't always be good in your eyes,
It is not physically possible.
So I won't try.
Honestly it isn't worth the energy,
     when all I'm gonna do is fail.

Can't you just accept me for who I am and
     all the quirks that come along?
Or is that too much to ask of someone?

I'm not perfect and I'm most definetly not an angel.
My goal is not to get into heaven;
    or whatever lies above.
My goal is not to always appear good to you;
     my life doesn't revolve around you.

What is it then; you may ask, that is my goal in life...
To be me; wholly, truly, and unchanging.
To find someone who won't want to change me, but accepts me.
To live the life I want with the someone that accepts me.
And lastly; to not always be good...
     because sometimes being good,
          is actually bad.