We made the conversation for a passerby

Each one more ridiculous than the last

We neglected nutrition with haste

But we swallowed the lies of enlightenment

I needed a moment to compose myself

But the restroom was full of powder and human exchange

I laugh at this mad display
basking in this show of human excess

My tent is folded
never did construct it
Someone stole my poles
hippie sabotage

Strippers slowly swinging
holes in the forest
Eyes in the tree tops

Run up a hill
to avoid an old pains inquiries
At the top I meet a man
he pulls me aside
Trying to explain his condition

"My boy my shoes went nomadic I am aware of the irony!"

I say sir we are all mad currently

Enjoy the breather because dawn is coming

I make my exit because I see him eyeing my sneakers

Paddle boats?

Climb aboard says a spun out pirate

Indeed indeed

He had a plastic saber as a sword

and a marshmallow gun at his side

How he got it past security I will never know

When I ask him this he said he came by waterway

and that this paddle boat was made for excursions

A wild man with five wild women wave at me from the center dock

but I am much too shy for ******

Music now
bring out the rhythm
make room for the rage sticks
I hate them so

Make it to the center
I'm not sure of what yet
But I'll figure it out
maybe

I was brought into this world by way of time capsule

I refused entry knowing the light was too bright for adaptation

So they tore me from my best and pulled me into the cold

Crying for those warm roots

They washed and clothed me in earthly attire

Years goes by

Pictures captured
fed and dusted
Promise for the future

Life played a game
one where nothing is as it seems
Those dreams become reality
but it still leaves holes unfilled

Introduced to chemical imbalance by way of hysteria

I know my tragedies are nothing special

Nobody makes it to the other side unscathed

Recycle a soul and hope for brighter days

People hurt and cast aside
nerves pinched and walls built
Fleeting attention for the outsider product of the speed generation

A quarter century comes

Recluse by confusion
observer by design

Oh you people

Pull down the earth and let it burn for the next fifteen minutes of fame

Boredom consumed the planet
that is a terrifying notion

We spark up the beggar
wrench and teeth amusement
A Lincoln for pay
and YouTube bound

I no longer see the faces
only ripples of regret
Timelines stack the accusations
child innocents no longer

These chemical reactions become more sinister

Dodge a train while looking for the next ******

These screens seem too grow more nefarious

Breaking down the obscene for easy transportation

Rides through time but I stay stationary

Small finds relieve the angst  
but these pains still resonate

Joint stiff from stagnant confines
and this sky bends from abuse

But a ***** of salvation is created

I climb fast hoping for an easy endeavor

I doubt anyone ever makes it to the bottom

That escalation was merely a product of miscommunication

thoughts and actions misconstrued

Anonymity amplified for the seekers can only lead to desperation and hysterical behavior

Animosity harbored can only bring sickness when we come faceless and wanting

Declare this head space unfit for sanity if you truly believe me monstrous

Who am I?

With pupils pondering tightropes and nails sufficiently chewed

I will surely be my own undoing

Social stanzas make my life easier

Patchwork strife splits through the eardrum

Kaleidoscope assembly lines and the abstract remains king

So many sad faces and I'm sick like a benadryl boomtown

Painted expressions for complicating

Minds blur from vitamin deficiency

A resigned sun never was needed

Your abrasive salvation never was found

The necessary means for excess lie in these majestic masquerades

Your high hopes with your sour patch picnics

The mercy monk offers wrinkled hands for currency exchange

Fungus for a stomachs churning

Lake shores drive home a new colorless grain

Window shopping a new distraction

The last one bailed when the world knocked on my door

Bulletproof glass for your failed unrest

A muted television makes more sense than one properly articulated

The mouths move like sanity

Drip Drop and the bulb burst

Shards of common clutter

The glow of sublime distraction becomes obligatory

I was lethargic in lullabies

spotlight saturated and speechless

concaved cushions and dim lit kingdoms

fell away inside a chemical nap

I came here hoping for clarity

I found the same chaos rebranded

Imagination measured in concrete stretches

factories inspire assembly line portraits

The painters where all noble fiends

sketching skies for pleasant company

Still these habitats prove overwhelmed

exhausted figures faint from consumption

Familiar anatomy
Familiar tragedy

Calming colors on a brickwork spread

I move through their pauses

A mind full of static
A pocket full of amphetamines
Artificial antics from plus sign suitors

While supplies last the mind will not grasp the severity of such resolve

Unless it's contrived and longs for the fringe

Accommodating dust damp bunkers and fallout nooks

Temporary ploys  
Projectile toys

What savage means for elation

Reality conducts seamless sickness

primitive surgery for existing

Confusion now for these faces and graces that perpetually stream

Conclusions now for a sigh that never speaks

I woke up laughing

tripping over notions of full circle lunacy

Reminding me why I never sleep

My actions can no longer be defined
As I dance across the catwalks of my mind

I dare not let myself slip

Gazing down I see a faded clown waving back at me

Mouthing words that sound so absurd coming from a painted expression

''Descend so I can ascertain your motives'' it cried

Climbing down I see it's merely my reflections sense of humour and I screamed

''Suspend my silence for the sake of nonsense I suppose you have that
right!''

Startled by my outburst I watch myself begin to crack and falter

I panic knowing this is no place for a showdown

I fall at my feet and hysterically shatter for stability

Gathering up my pieces I mumble my motives

''How dare you disturb the cleanliness I have brought to this madness''

Putting them in my pocket I make my way back to normalcy

She lives in highs and strange spaces

conducting disbelief like a prodigy

an abstract anxiety for her pause

She wears a thousand chemical faces

each mask fine tuned for fiction

disposition suggests life has no flaws

Somewhere in those pupils lies a person

weave through the vanity for a pure bewilderment

I see your hysteria lies in these monsters made mute

Those one sequestered away for the sake of breathing

these delusions dissected

these rabid renditions you call life

they can only perpetuate profound confusion

I see your mind broke before you had a chance for clarity

I now understand the shadows you call shade

an artificial sun was your only means for illumination

I now know you existed like so much obscurity digested

Another life casualty for the whirlpool

Another wonder wasted for the sake of exhaustion

Tree top excursions
Suggest dusk has finally come
Home comfort calling
But I misplaced my time

Make my way slowly
City lights grow distinct
Narrow paths for crossing
Rub shoulders with shadows
Acknowledge their presence
Ignore their motivation

The innocent seem so sinister
When the day succumbs to night

A distant figure flickers
Caught by cherry smoke
Coat tails scrape for escape
Urgency in the footsteps
Jay walk for comfort
Not knowing its danger

Chain link detour
Concrete echoes confrontation
Violence shatters my silence
Sounds of hate
Sounds of sadness
Observe a conclusion
A crumbled life line
A spent conscious  
No breath left for lifting

Statue stiff for survivals sake
Hoping for a hurried perception

There is no vanity in desperation

Voices cry from a cold hollow
Asking my place in all this
I say do not fear
For it is only momentary

I'm sorry...

I did not witness your emphasized spirals of sickness until the day your mind resigned and declined to leave a message before you leaped

I'm not nearly paranoid enough to ponder a theory

Where master heads perpetually pull strings

However

I am cynical enough to consider these mishaps human nature

An organic trajectory towards the ridiculous

Not born out of contrived chaos

More so the combined effort of makeshift moments

Constructed from an ever elusive fear deep in the DNA

brought into frame by this frenzied free will

How does one accommodate a mad world?

What is the appropriate reaction...

when they say YOU are this madness personified?

How do you traverse faces naturally inclined for objection?

Who said we should come here?

Who dare say we shall go?

I am addicted to the spill

It is a fine life recipe for the mad

perpetual messes with no guesses on origin

only frenzied f*cks for forgetting
only hysterical means for elation

My muse lies in moments when the mind breaks

when chemicals mate and mistake lunacy for love

My best is when we clutch and deconstruct like dynamite

sighs and sickness mingle for comfort

My anatomy is made up of patchwork

but this smile is genuine

My tendencies often tumble into free fall

but I've learned not to scream

Sometimes I trip into transparency and I find you alive and well

But this mind is a stray and the name of the game is connection

no matter the damage done

The tools we use for sanity often times  perpetuate a prolonged disconnection

Its all so unsettling

when my first instinct is laughter

Some people just aren't meant for peace

Some days are easier than others

The problem with knowing your brand of madness fondly

You no longer have a scapegoat for the bad days

The mirror is ever present as you question this irrational thought or that one

Growing momentum with each doubt you unwillingly fine tune your calamity

When you feel the weight of full corners its time to ride

But these avenues perpetuate loneliness

So you wait for that old feeling to pass
or indulge a chemical distraction

Pushing aside times thievery you say morning will come clear and content

But your sun beams shine cold in a summers heat

Last night's crutch gathers inside the stomach

You expel acids and dark matter
splattered on white tile shine

Wiping off your mask you position it hurriedly

Knowing a casual observer isn't hard to come by

Rinse and repeat this world turns to a mad song

But it is yours

I saw your face first

The same familiar stranger on a red light backdrop

My mind breaks when I realise you've been dead for a decade

A molecular concentration takes flight

screaming

"No more please"

Seizures like septic

this ringing has no rhythm

Ear full of static

I've been here before

but under a much different skyline

Gravity was too efficient

My skull lacked the proper buoyancy for a concrete introduction

I eat dirt and mingle with the microscopic

My mind searches for a reason

but it's only momentary

The curtain falls and I forget breathing

WAKE UP!

The void came like a seamless integration

A barbed tube for a veins intrusion

A legal stupor out of time

The bag claimed life juice

The white suits claimed hydration

Mouths curved skyward like so much obligatory optimism

Although

Their eyes suggest my body sits in shambles

I see...

I lay sheet strapped and completely surrounded

The jaws move like monsters

Words spoken like rusted mechanics

So scripted and so sick

No graces rooted in humor

Oh how I felt the *****

My addled antics have no place on this floor

...I was only one level away from the fun house

My face falls into laughter because it's all so serious

Sand dial urgency now

The world says they never needed this kind of strange anyway

Still

I hope I can stay

Doctors say he had a black spot on his brain

Black hole?
pirate past?
DMT excess?

Acute exhaustion came calling
we only have one vessel
It shattered some time ago

I feel rapid fire rattle my skull space

The rusty executioner says well here we go again

Half naked in a puddle
giggle into a rain cloud
Collapse
roll with muddied grace
Scream for everyone and everything

Busy minded and disembodied
float the circle
Watch them live
lungs rise and collapse
Over and over
organic machinery
So simple and so necessary

Reflex for lightning
I've seen the aftermath
split limbs onto broken backs
I'm no super hero
lift until gravity obeys

East side complex
paint so new
it smells of progress

Slacks and ties waddle by

Eyes glazed by coffee ground and paid vacation

I mumble into their bubbles

"Who am I to judge another's happiness?"

"I suppose I have been too human in my observation"

"Leave now before it spills onto your nice paint"

I run away laughing
I love an inside joke

Beautiful brick and iron work
but the sign says no thank you

Squeals of joy from a bird cage
but a parrots neck stays broken

A sponge for the sinister
wipe away their foreboding

Cleanliness inside madness makes for a reasonable crutch

Do I make ground for nutrition or for construction?

The permit office succumbs to hysterics

So I lack a proper paper trail

But I have a bag of soul and a ***** of soil

I have every intention of populating without the red tape

These mouths need nutrition

They burn wide from consumption

All I need is a root
All I need is sound
All I need is a little more time

He never littered so his pockets smelled of cigarettes and sweets

This caused a poor reaction from the ladies

But mother nature loved him dearly  

He made songs out of junk
Rusted melodies played
A poet of high caliber
A mind of high grade brain work

A bottle and a sniff
A word and a smoke
out comes the guilt

I often ask him why he needed these calamity riddled confines

Sometimes he would whisper his replies

Because he worried the gods could hear him

He lost his mind inside a ghost town

Time stained structures watched the regression

A soul needing silence

Instead he found childhood fear and crumbled

I went to visit him on the fifth floor

Psych wards terrify me
not because of it's inhabitants
But the fear they won't let me leave

I found him playing connect four

He claimed his competitor was a monster

nobody in sight

He said he was writing a novel

The pages he showed me contained
beautiful images and hysterical assumptions

Yet they made my soup filled stanzas seem reasonable

Only his circle could decipher his words and symbols

The final product was too mad for the casual observer

It's pages made scenes of unspeakable horrors and unlimited joy

We buried him next to his dog

He always claimed she was the only one who gets it


"Great poets die in steaming pots of sh*t." (Charles Bukowski)

Clarity is currently a lens clouded by hindsight

Like some insane contraption projecting ghosts

All I know is..

A mind retired before the void consumes...

Is indeed...

A mind worth rearranging

This room is full of beasts

Some fiends displaying a mechanical grace

constant in their pursuit of a perfect numb

Convenient gods selling a discount lobotomy..

saying it will help reclaim silence in a crowded skull  

Some souls were left suspended

minds consumed by slow motion

fleeting bliss rapidly expiring

bodies in limbo


When free will falters..

madness makes moves

eyes reassemble for nonsense

Their only crime was observing

I've seen this all before...

reruns from a dizzy dawn

My face fell for these scenes perpetually  persuaded by silence

No room for articulation inside these pin drop prisms

The graces pool for a better freak show

Their only crime was observing

So we strain for serendipity misconstrued

Surely this banter is beautiful and destined for comfort

Surely we know the why inside this want

Never admitting these conditions only cover my human in a filmy flattering

So often I trip over shocked expressions

Painted with numbed creatures

Patchwork anatomy with free fall tendencies

As if disappointment was concrete recently spilled

limbs in stagnant stances

I no longer linger here

The noise was nonsense with a hysterical hindsight

Thumbs out for stranger company

The family units blur inside tin and fume

Exhaust pipe cough and these hands clench cold

Tube stuck finger muck cancelled glances

Beg for a reason in a harsh dawn display

Blue pipes run black and they forget forgetting

Move on small mishap
This mind remains unhinged

Stay still time specked sky
You may inspire a rooftop excursion

Beam me a better vacation I was never meant for everything

Sand paper benches and tile shine syndrome

Vanity is irrelevant here

I fear broken recollections and punctures so I perch with grassy knolls

Its consistency is that of Easter baskets

Surely this is man made ground

I tell this to my shadow and it sighs with excuses

Maybe you were never real and this pulse was inspired by limbo

Maybe I'm not really here

These masks slipped from my shelf and the sounds don't make sense

There once was a mind fully defined

it's wiring now wrought with exposure

Time always comes hysterically inclined

disrupting these dispositions claiming composure

Here is another spoken word from a reading full of blue in a room of clues as to why we all gathered here to share our silent moments of uncertainty certainly I grew up in a food stamp paradise but isn't it nice when being raised on r ratings and nicotine isn't the worst fate for the hate of accidentally existing inside a stranger that was never intended suspended inside this method of madness that only comes sporadically systematic while lacking the schematics for clarity why I'm a product of a fun house mentality so you see its not always up to me when the words spill or the shrill ringing of writing until asphyxiation because scenes dissect when they do what else can I chew without clearance or an appearance of sanity I swim in remnants of peace when I forget to breathe or conceive a world without an ink stained funnel for this morbid curiosity we feed to offset the mediocrity of a T.V persona existence this persistent need for violence is almost an impulse we convulse with a dark euphoria screaming gloria into the train wrecks broken neck headlines splattered with genocide cowboys and plastic pondering while the wondering of a reasonable whisper fall victim to loud speaker urgency

An amateur **** star with a masters in psychology

She was pleasantly astute
also predictably cold
How could she not be?

A high functioning fiction with shattered jaw logic

He picked flowers for a living
blow and citrus extended
Eyes saying the show must go on

She was maybe the safest creature alive

Traversed all cracks with grace
saying she hated pain in all forms
An alien in a cruel world

He was a pusher of high caliber

He navigated traffic like a stop light
savage in his circles
But nobody on his block went hungry

Some people I met in Reno

Some much needed madness after a plane ride stiff with sanity

Time is a ******

A habit made ancient and unwavering

The proof is merely a paused perception away

Inside this mind once spoken for

I surrender my will to despondency

My reality laughs

offering up souls full of toys for misappropriation

Now I slide down to the vacant side

hoping to sit and watch the time

I know this place well

kicking rocks into the void

I grow weary waiting for impact

Life left me jaded by noble fiends

hate and spite for consumption

I've found it exhausting

after all

Hatred stems from fear

and I am terrified.....truly

Not only by the lack of pause reflected on so many faces

or by a societies unwavering commitment for disconnection

More so this notion I find in these quiet moments

When the eyes remain stationary

contemplating another boomerang trajectory

It's simply this

I've seen fear in all organisms

built into a disposition like DNA

Cold sweat oasis

Structures stretched with nuclear tendencies

Sometimes the creators get the better of themselves

Flash bang for dizzy blind spots

Specks for perception and they move with urgency

Close those eyes one more time for a remedy

Open for a new conclusion ever spent and contrived

Images for harvesting

we have plenty

Breath taken and things fall into place

Contrived and chemically complete

We can only surmise new horizons and much needed lucidity

Momentary in it's conclusion

We soon fell away faster than electro shock embraces

Complicate these realities with your hysterics and excess

Build up these walls with your sinister time clocks

bathtubs and cold water cures

drain the brain and plant new sanity

grates for forgetting

wash away these more unconventional moments

city dump bound with plastic tank accommodation

lay with the rest and die again

Cookie cutter cyborg with a familiar face

Long dead with only a dull ache for remembrance

recycle some faces
freeze the terminally ill

bring back centuries from now

Corporate confines with the wholesale slavery

rapid fire freak show
one penny for entry

watch the snakes linger for a taste

watch me go put on a new face

one more pleasing for your view

something hate proof and plastic

I found a stow away deep in my skull

my chemical pathways interrupted

I feel unhinged but I see the reasoning

Infinite faces perpetuate uncountable frames

So many the ground chokes from the excess

The master heads came saying they need a reduction

Some souls wasted space so we ship them to their respective gods

Heads not in approval

Surely my God wanted it

I took this ride down to the vacant mind

Hoping I could sit and watch the time

Life left me hysterical you see
Life left me irrational

So I denied my nature
I embraced the strongest emotion
A thing called hate
I've found it exhausting

After all
Hatred stems from fear
I've seen fear in all organisms
Built into a disposition
Like DNA

You down there

Elegant and cozy inside your dumpster divinity

I can see the pain painted boldly across your faces

Each scar and crack tells a tale of times indifference

Yet you wear them like a badge of honor

Sifting through the remnants your eyes glimmer with knowing

like these collisions are meant to be

You fell into one another never having a clue

Hate and fluid swapped

On to the next one

I see you flow out of sight

Into corner clubs and shopping centers

Emerge some time later clutching pies and stomach

***** into the gutter and nod at the monotony

Humans harbor hungry hysterics
Small pain for huge comfort

The bars fill one by one

These rainy days make for awkward gathering

Nobody knows anybody but human nature insist we share common spaces

Walls fill and stools turn
***** fueled banter
Listen and never learn

long gazes propped on the elbows

Faces filled with contrition and self loathing

Avert your eyes skyward please
It's peace may soothe for a time

Humble and elastic

Like that chewing gum in the urinals

Watch it bend and contract
Product of a misplaced perception

I prefer these roof top views

My constant sky gazing may be cause for concern

Better I can see the tragedies coming

But we all must come down at some point

Why should I rectify this gibberish when I see you micro managing madness with fistfuls of sadness I must confuse the bemused expressions who refuse the notion that gentle hypnosis is a back alley psychosis how nefarious when strangers reprogram a subconscious claiming electricity is tasteless even though I know this hell is faceless its a symptom of dodging complacency so before my mind goes let me free flow like a freak show even though I know I'm speaking hysterically into empty spaces where my downward gazes find hands like phases not a correct callous in sight but the night always reveals a mindful monster with pull string monotony and a silk stuffed voice box eyes like key hole perspectives and blue screen lock go ahead and mock this sincerity derived from a dive into pure obscurity these flaws rust this hysterical mechanical jaw now muted by the awe of virtual sunsets and chemical skylines dotted by dead satellites and styrofoam clouds choking birds now the words confess somewhere an electric wire congregation thins while insect empires binge on a world free of sky high predators still they live in shadows of suited institutions manufacturing delusion like it's a cure for reality

I am an advocate for strange...

My mechanics are blissfully malfunctioning inside an accidental existence..

Everything is hilarious and nothing makes sense

T.V personas injecting membrane memos like its a vaccination for reality

Reassembling minds like factory precision eager on the assembly line

A convenient god for your more hysterical notions

A high priced fallacy for your comfort

Sometimes we mingle in the middle
Striving for the prize of nearly existing
-Christopher

Muted madness

finally speaking

A radio full of ghosts

quietly weeping

A reasonable robot

will never be found

What is lost

can never be profound

Time is a ******

A habit made ancient and unwavering

The proof is merely a paused perception away

Is this your mind?
I found it elsewhere
Where are you going?
That paths leads nowhere

I feel compelled to say...

A glimpse at your scene
Leaves a shell worth breaking
A moment in your mind
Leaves a hole worth making
Deny your creator
This fate lacks clarity
Stop the climb
This world lacks a reality
I stole your time
Hoping to stop your progression
I gave you mine
Hoping to avoid a misconception

Know that its only reality
That demands your attention
Know its only society
That demands your affection

Here

Collect your mind
Complete and confused
Push it back in place
Pray its not refused

He played a plastic flute and everyday was his birthday

he would run the avenues

blowing the same depraved Elton John rendition

I ran into him at a bbq shack

Wishing him happy birthday for the tenth time that month

I inquired into his day to day

with eyes saying nine lives lived he states his purpose

A wire broke deep in my skull sir

sometimes my head gets cloudy

Everyday is my birthday because everyday I am reborn with harder skin

I won this flute at a raffle I wasn't aware I entered

I live in a sky box and drink the rain for days and days

I eat the cloud coverage so the sun always shines

I spew the leftovers into worldwide ghettos for the starving and forgotten

well at least you think worldly I say

and your flute remains pristine in these harsh Midwest conditions

hats off to you sir for your unwavering weirdness

he nods giving me a look that says

of course?

I watch him disappear around the corner

Sleep was never my friend or enemy

But 48 hours without reprieve makes any soul stumble

Walking to kick lethargy I came across my childhood

It asked me where I've gone

Time took me away from you I say
Earlier than most
But such is life I suppose

We nod at nostalgia and part ways
both a little emptier
Rain shatters self pity
it left as fast as it came
Such is the prairie way

I found a puddle unusually clear deep inside a cities pollution

Reflection contradicts feeling
I suppose that was inevitable
Cannot deny ones nature

Crouching down to avoid reason
My knees crack loudly
reminding me of a 100 lives lived
Well worn past my 25 years

My skies turned abstract when dawn came

Pink and orange backdrop for this shadow

Moving over for a passing obstruction

I watch it swallow human excess
No flesh in sight for it's momentum
This is indeed skynet

I come home because walls keep out madness

In here only mine distracts
A dangerous illusion I know
But it's all I currently posses

A trail of gasoline with no apparent purpose

Light it up and watch its course

Irresponsible in every sense of the word I know

I am only human

Sometimes this morbid curiosity can overwhelm

Now praying too no particular god

That my haste end with no serious damage

In the distance a sun rises early

stirred awake by a man made ignition

How could I have know?

Sometimes I saturate my sunbeams with smoke

They stay stationary and unwavering in their illumination

Backfire for a saboteur and I see it all

losing it in the home front

Five nonsense fingers for a minds  grasping

I finally found my sanity
fell down behind the couch
An abyss for traversing
navigate those weaves woven

Dusted change and forgotten identification

I was a regular at the Lego factory

now I find my punch card crumbled and useless

I never did find the rest

what was I saying?

oh

so what if my blinds bend and my books take up all the seating ?

I prefer the floor with it's more humble views

the insects stay away
the weather is turning

I keep it clean but leave the windows propped for exposure

when does the clock die?

I bought these batteries out of haste

it's constant reminder ticks through  these silent moments

third shift hammock for the swing

Ninja turtle sheets and danger mouse masquerades

I'm no longer a child but sometimes I vacation with my nostalgia

it feels nice but leaves a hole every time

still bills must be paid

I worked with a cat lady at burger king

She claimed friendship with Ray Bradbury

She showed me a letter and I see it's true

She was the spitting image of Mary Kathleen O ****** in her more paranoid years

for all the Vonnegut fans out there I smile for you

Did you make it?
Did you break it?
Did you die alone?

"so it goes"

said the wizard with the satire solutions

I ate some orange before the travel trip

Tilted the sand dial and defied times tenacious turmoil

The rockets were shot into space

full of seed and castrated politicians

We shielded our eyes from the Chem trails

they cut slices through the sky

Watch the master mucus slide into contrived contraptions

Slime these wrong doers and reestablish the gold tooth

A wafer for your thoughts it's all I have

The banker only gave me wooden pennies and a cardboard cutout of Miami

He smiled while he hustled

My father always said never trust a suited reason

He mowed fields with motors built by his careful hands

sometimes a spider would take his knee brace and conflict came

antibiotics and spaghetti Westerns made him whole

He dies two years ago now

but we still smile for his stubborn statues

I met a snail that hindered my momentum

but he was much older so I  paused politely

I always talk with the old heads and ask about Nixon and Elvis

they amuse and frighten with their time stained logic

Everyone thinks I'm crazy but that's alright

I use to think I was sane and castle inclined

but 25 years of folks stating your unstable may break a brain

fortunately I have a back up

I found it in a Denver appliance store next to a fallout shelter

The man said it cost a dime

but I hand him my pocket lint instead

we nodded at mutual hysteria and dined with the cannibals

I mixed up my brain purchase

so sometimes nostalgia gets the better of me

This new one once belonged to the duke of Delaware

sometimes he talks low

But I've gotten better about leaving him on the back burner

I heard he ate dust and cried while clapping for Hamilton

this is me reorganizing my headspace

This is me gagging on tuna helper

I grew up in a food stamp paradise

spam and apple's for after school snacks

spaghetti with the red paste makes taste buds mutiny

but the bus lady gave me a sticker every time I climbed on healthy and bruised

I feel better

When free will falters..

madness makes moves

Eyes reassemble for nonsense

Their only crime was observing

I am a hollow sender

build you up and take away your face

I am a make believe Salvation

reflect your insecurities for a change

I am the worst kind of hallucination

peripheral sabotage

your blinks always come too late

I came here for a break

but these walls cannot feel this space

inside these confines we find a brain

chaos crusted but contained

They say I inspire strange

words like a fun house fantasy

yet my message sounds like an echo

The master blaster says I should write in space

that's a task worth taking for a free

shoot me up and I will never come down

I've taken on excessive pacing for some peace

the papers say I'm free for a time

coffee and nicotine fuel this latest craze

sometimes I feel the ghosts complain

my past is one too remember

Long gone are the days of mind benders and fine line headaches

sun spiked and eager

spun cookies and the red blue persuasion

These words build another maze

so I sit here displaced

The time tables cannot refrain
from chemical surrender

watch the molecular rearrange
far gone is it's composure

Sometime I will feel the rain

but holes dug still hinder what could amaze

my last lighthouse disappeared with my organization

and what was left of my mind

I think...

I've always operated under the influence of reason when dictating my belief system

A lack of god for complicating is my sincerest attempt at interpreting my reality

Whatever devices one needs for clarifying existence are acceptable

as long as the don't dictate someone elses

Being ignorant of sinister chemistry...

is no excuse for stealing a strangers peace

glimpsing another's reality is not the same as living it

one can operate the machinery...

even if they didn't construct it

But they may ultimately find frustration...

like a snail high on amphetamines...

They feel content in a stranger system...

Still

The DNA does not allow the momentum needed for such artificial conviction


Carry on

I bend branches in pursuit of nostalgia

I collect glances like a glass jar habitat

They light tiny spaces

while a lack of oxygen conspires the *****

No mercy in a world where free will falters

A childish curiosity killed the glow
A Steady display now dim and stuttered
A momentary depression on discovery

Curbside funeral

resigned for the sake of memory

Ponder patterns weaved by a concrete choked charade

We have what we need but hurry for another anxiety

institutions for conclusion fall short under an indifferent heaven

Conviction reassembles

stationery like statuary

human conditions climb the clutter

Your centuries were numerous

Now contained with disdain inside cardboard cutouts

The dusk dances and shade shifts

Under muted skies

Stagnant shadows elongate

Derelict distinction now a contorted silhouette

ridiculous renditions conspire another fiction

We scream for clarity with clinched jaw

Bloom bound prairie

shake off these frozen confines

Brace for nothing

The sun stays away

familiar strangers cluster

****** another murmur with your abrasive tongue

Kick a can IF you must

This is a paradise for the broken home hero

Tilted shadows hide an uneasy nostalgia

Tree side muck pond ripple

A stone thrown for the sake of motion

A sigh retired for the sake of gumption

Fanatic ghosts reminisce over dusty diners

Tables like saw dust and lights dulled from a haywire hand

Grease plate pallet

you whisper

"God bless America"

into your headpiece

Indeed?

I think not sir

Dry toast and indifference for the soaking

Truck stop sickly and the road is endless

Rest stop epiphany and the desert screams with concurrence

Falsehood frenzy

our collisions grow more hysterical

grow more contrived

What a combination for the ponder patch

A slice of sanity on a pie full of red light liquidation

A drive by delusion

concrete echoes notions of finality

Spent for the folly

Sprint for the skyline

it keeps receding

I keep pleading

Show me what it means to be nonsense

Show me the theory that keeps us nodding like wire birds

wondering why we lack buoyancy

Wanting perches and obligatory blindness

Break me the way you broke the rest

A smile like satire

A mind like lunacy

Between I find something resembling reason

Here are some mishaps from mainlining madness

The stars now seem sinister..

they hang from twine on a crowded skyline

like so many peepholes for a pervert god

I could never live up to these fantasies now mass produced

I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS

I'm not sure what constitutes base line normalcy

When considering a suited institutions interpretation of reality...

Lines perpetually blur into an infinite numb

Did free will give us the devices for denying our own mechanics?

How do you reconcile a mind retired from wondering?

Are these crowded spaces nothing more than sad faces displacing silence?

and how much enamel was lost...

in pursuit of despondency?

Ponder a fond portrayal

like we don't all cling to crumbling foundations

You may find me accidentally existing inside a stranger I never intended

You may find me blissfully malfunctioning..

break down illuminated by fluorescent hums

Some concrete charades for gray days full of time

Now and then...

I can pretend my plight for silence transcends the rational

I lost my mind pondering infinity

I realized time was never linear

More like a puddle spreading endlessly

Insect rivalries disrupt microscopic tragedies

Their tiny objections echo through the infinite


Muted chaos mingles with cosmic clutter

All is lost when stars prove sinister

like so many peepholes for a pervert god


Madness makes moves...

I see eyes reassemble for nonsense

Their only crime was observing

So many sad faces and I'm sick like a benadryl boomtown


Scenes full of primitive make believe

Haphazard halos and plastic queens

They disperse for stranger tilts

fluorescent hums and cancellation

Torn between vanity and breathing



Raised on R ratings and nicotine

Box forts in the junk pile

Yellow sky and rat king stances

Footsteps shrouded by loud speaker urgency

Where do they go?



Time runs low on another freak show

left in shambles by habitual slow motion

Pluck the remnants of distinction

pure intentions may rearrange promiscuity



We are only human

We are only a collection of frantic omissions

These distractions come potent

These observations become motives


Excuse this mind that remains remote

pondering sickness and considering ghosts


One last party for obscurity

One last dive into the spill

I never wanted your minds or graces

I only wanted this banshee to stay still

What a sight for wide eyes

Purpose finally catches up with time and casts it aside

Claiming it has no need for manmade contraptions

Sky pieces swing by corners
finally unhinged
They fall and dent the earth
no longer able to deny space

People dodge the danger
frantically scratching lottery tickets

Not knowing the lines were dead and this week's numbers irrelevant

Inside structures of brick and grime
eyes stray from boxed realities

Outside streets and avenues crooked
footsteps falter and grow silent
Unsure of the path taken

A shriek in the distance

Chaos
The final spotlight
forced transparency for the masses
Makeshift personalities betray their creators
Vanity cast aside with haste
but never disgust

Wavelengths solidify
once invisible
now oh so relevant
Fear spreads fast and abrupt
gravity bows out
physics waves goodbye
fall through the holes
No safety net left for mending