I overdosed on you
How could I forget that I can only
take so much of mostly everybody
before I need a break, I need
space?
& who
would have known
that of course, I would stumble
upon you, the little dot of glue that I could
not manage to scrape off my thumb so
that I could hide from people I
love?
Jesus
Christ, I knew I was
a monster & waves of oceans can
not cleanse me, what I hope I am no longer
I just needed time, didn't I? I picked out
too much of you, & everyone knows
that you can't leave the table
without finishing
it all
I
couldn't leave you
in the start, when I thought that
maybe I could handle it, maybe I could skip
my break & work overtime. But now I see how
you saw me & all the guilt I have been feeling
for months doubles in pain and agony.
I need change, you need stability
& we were a match made
in nuclear
war
fare, I guess. I
really should have done
what you do, read the trends & not
search me out, but my fingertips, so ripe with
curiosity, looked at responses from a certain poet we both
enjoy, & the first one I saw, I clicked & found you & I
read everything, like I should not have. Even if I
needed it, mercy, the things I wish
I could unsee, even though
I deserve to stare at it
for the rest of
my ****
life.

My name is Ryan Navin
I guess you can call me that
But you could call me a lot of things
I’m a man
But what is a man?
What does it mean to be a man?
The term changes meaning from time to time.
Today it means to shave your *****
and sit behind a desk typing numbers into a computer.
You could call a lot of things a lot of things.
But who gives these things their meaning?
I suppose people.
There is nobody else around to do it,
But what gives us the right.
How can we give purpose through name,
when we don’t even know our own purpose?
There is no meaning or purpose to end.
That is it, all wrapped up into one ominous and mysterious word
End.
But thee ends must justify the means.
Well what I mean is…
What is the meaning to life?
What is the meaning to after life?
Past, Present, and Future life.
Is it Happiness, Contentment, Discovery, Honor, Existence, Persistence?
I think it’s jazz, but what do I know?
I’m just a man.
I’m Ryan Navin
Local poet
Drug abuser
Sexaholic
*****
Genius
Madman
Sane
Evolutionary Defect
God’s Creature
Preacher
Savior
Sacrifice
Wanna-be
Liar
Fly on the wall
Blip of Existence
Just another failure
Just another success
But what does that mean?