He does not know where it started
but, he knows it is here.
He does not know how long it has been around
but, he can not remember life without it.
He knows it is why he can't get out of bed
Why he can not make it outside
Why he lives in the dark and
why the sun hurts his eyes
He knows it is why his heart races,
his palms sweat,
Why he feels the world is judging him and
why he feels most alone surrounded by people
He knows it why he builds walls and burns bridges
why he pushes everyone away,
why he grows more distant
and turns people who love away
Why he can not look in the mirror
why he is ashamed of his body
why can not stand his appearance
and hopes no one can see him too
Why he can not be alone with his thoughts
cannot escape his demons
why the pills no longer have an effect
and why the alcohol just makes it worst
And it has been with him his long as he can remember even though
trauma, abuse, poverty were not there and even though love, support and understanding were