Side Effects Include Hallucinations,
in the way your words make me believe
that we will get that apartment on the 22nd floor with the designer kitchen and the giant windows and two dogs sleeping at the foot of the bed
when we're All-Grown-Up
but i try to hold your hand and it isn't always there
sometimes i reach and all that squeezes through my fingers is a wisp of green dark smoke
and you are suddenly 500 miles away
Nausea, Sickness, Vomiting, and Pain,
like when i wake up with tears already carving scars into my face
and the walk to the front door seems like the farthest walk i've ever taken
and invisible shackles as ancient as the roots growing underneath my head bind me to my nest
(kind of like when you tie me up)
the thorns crawl up the rusty metal and twist into my stomach
wrap themselves around my molten core
spreading shoots through bursting veins
knees buckle, hit the bathroom floor
And May Include Death
you are the perfect drug
an addictive pro-zac that makes me convulse from withdrawals
if i ever dare to skip a day
i have to have more
an self-refilling pill box and all it costs is every last inch of my heart and soul and energy
that's all you ask