Intensify my involuntary ticks
Here is my virginity, not peeled from my skin
But ripped from my flesh
Like a child's band-aid.

Leave behind the bitter taste on my cracked lips
You'll only ever be
A mistress to fall on, seducing me to your weak trap.

I lay, alone in my closet of unused black dresses
Awaiting the dark blue cool sky to greet me
Staring at the ceiling, attempting to cry out for help
Alone is all I know, the wooden doors divide me from
The burning acids of the unknown, the outside scares me
Blood tears roll down my cheeks
Clumping, carrying a timeline of glass shards in the alley.

I lay, alone in my closet of fading yellow splattered ceiling
That pretty crystal raised to my eye to clearly see
Beauty that was on the other side, guarding me
An old friend I’ve missed for so long, dear absolute satisfaction
Assurance and safety of only when I am ready
Hologram glittered tears roll down my chin
I am a raw human,  and my surroundings, animated sketches.

I lay, alone in my closet, when You sat by a wall between us
Somehow, you knew the magic words to my poorly built tree house
And cupped in arms that always knew, me, this surrendered rag doll
Poorly stuffed with ***** cotton and trinkets
You rinsed out my stains and replaced loose buttons
Pink painted tears roll down into my pores, invade my veins
And for an instant, for a short pause in all that ever was, stood a small child with flowered braids.

It’s ridiculous to try
To comprehend whether you tasted
Bitter or sweet in my mouth
All these years.

Face the wall, sunshine
I wanna play a game
Don't peek through your fingers
Come out when you count through your anxiety.

Do you hear my heart quicken through the plaster walls?
I'm hoping anticipation lost its scent My feet shuffle quietly in the moonlight lullaby
Just tell me when you're ready
This fractured body twists to fit in your cupboards, by furniture that smells like old thoughts left lingering.

Trembling ticks roll by
While I wait patiently for
My welcome angel of death and grins
I'll hold my breath to beat this game
On repeat, broken records.

As my bones brittle, my strands dyed
Gray, I'll be here
Hiding in the tracks for your
Choo choo train
I swear I'll stitch my lips
Run me over, I won't scream
Whisper to me softly
Fire your gun through that checkered flag

The cold tile will never be sufficient to raise me from my post
Waiting for you to find me.
I'll be waiting for you to find me.

And I don't mind.

In between languages
I struggle to find those words, like a nervous tick
Flick of my pink tongue
To speak in your presence
Accents will do me no good
If my mind races faster than my heart and
My heart races faster than my hand
When my lips part
Vomiting swarms of insects, my throat burns into disappearing smoke
I'm a quiet daffodil being fed by
The mighty sun.

Holy water burns my organs
Replacing all liquids in my temple

Don't touch me or
You'll drown in my baptism.

En la madrugada, por las puertas largas de un cuarto desconocido
entra la aroma de tu enfermedad
rosas con muerte, esperando
tus lagrimas saladas no se me van de la boca
y los dias pasan sin sentido de realidad

Ya no trato de entender, no
pero salto, entrando cuevas negras y basillas
memorias como papelitos quemados
es mejor no saber
lo que pudo ser una vida
Platiada, sin manchas.