As I lay here 
gasping for my last breath
my mind traces back to what brought me 
down to these depths.
Entering the dim light
i remove my hat and coat
take a seat near the right
and wait with anticipation.
Something is out of place
and i cant seem to understand what
theres no sign or trace
but i feel the suspicion rise in my chest
I sit and wait
with the aroma of stale fries and coffee
and i sit, think, and realize
once you enter, it comes clearly.
You laugh and smile
but no, not at me
and i **** over
not able to breathe.
the only image i can muster
is how you turned slowly
with a flow of black locks
you gave me such a look, only
i couldnt understand.
You ran so gracefully
away from some guy
you looked as if an angel 
had fallen from the sky.
Replays in my mind
like a video tape
press rewind.
As i lay here gasping for my last breath
i realize my own death.

Falling Deep
they grab at me
hearing hisses and howls
grumbles and growls
they yank at my soul
and start taking control.

I lose all senses at steady paces
as i gaze upon hideous faces.
They tell me ive done wrong
after i got hurt for so long.
Hissing that the start
was when i fell apart.

Being lied to, they take me in
grinning at my sins.
Showing me in flashbacks
how i took hold of a silver axe
Catching you within
while you were under him.

I take my weapon and begin to swing
as you shreak with a shrilling scream
first i hear the "zing!"
then anticipate the sting.

What i wanted all along
was just to sing my own death song
praying, yearning for death to come
after finding you, i down the ***.

I beg and plead
and finally!
they drag me from my wrong
and take me where i belong.

I Deserve The Best
And Nothing Less

And What I Deserve
Is What I Desire

And What I Desire
Is My Dearest, Desire A

Desire A Is First On The List
Desire B Isnt A Choice Of Bliss

I Choose Desire A Over Too Many
I Choose Desire A First Of Any

But As Much As I Desire
My Dear Desire A

I Could Never Gain That Luxury
Of Having It Again.

I look up at these fake stars and remember
How we counted them together
Just you and me
And satin sheets

Its not easy missing you
And the things you do
But i will always love you
And those deep deep blues

Dearest Desire that sparks my skin
With every touch and every sin
Kiss me once more
Take me in with your lure

Speak my name a thousand times
And ill scream yours back to you.

Deep dark fantasy
Hidden in the closet
Of some imaginative mind.
Unknown to the harsh reality of the world
You hide in that tight room.
Something in your fairytale land
Makes everything smile.
Your land lifts souls
While my land kills the innocent.
Your world brings joy
And mine, destruction.
Fantasy dreams
Keep on dreaming
Do not fall to such a level
Of hate
Of regret
Of death.
Live on in your curious path
And help create a world
That I can escape to.

I've become satisfied
With the new glorified
You

Now your ever so happy
And never that sappy
Hue

You've gained someone
And it's not just anyone
True

But you ripped apart my soul
And chose him on a roll
To

Sadly I'm left watching
While your attaching
Glue

I'll embrace a change
Move on to fame
Adieu.

Deep passions and divine passings
You will never speak from your inside, out.
Mistakes linger here and there
But you think it's fine, you have it made.
Take it from the worst of them all
This is not the decision, it's not okay.
When you trip and fall
Into strawberry poison
Don't scrub off the deep stains.
Someday you will understand
But I hope you learn from my messes
That this is the time for an outburst of your most prized oragan
Precious ,though you were, I let you sift through my fingers
And once you loose that precious sand
It's hard to gain it back COMPlETELY
By picking it up
Grain by grain

"Dearest Child Why Do You Do This?"

"Im Hurt And Broken From Her Selfishness.."

"But Daughter, Sweet Daughter, This Is Not The Answer."

"But Father, Dear Father, Its Better Than Cancer"

"Tilt Up That Bottle And Tell Me What You See"

"Why, Nothing But Emptyness Embracing Me"

"Choose Here And Now Which Road You Wish To Stimble Down"

"I Want The Path That Leads Straight Out Of This Town"

" Dont Ruin Yourself Because Of Some Dumb *****"

"But See, I Loved Her, Even If She Wasnt Rich"

"If Someomes Willing To Hurt You So, They Arent Worth Your Time"

"Sadly ,Dear Father, She Was Worth All Mine"

I can't force myself to understand
How the world could contain such sinful beauty.
A smear of curvy tan
Framed by black waves
Two specks of blue
And maybe,
Just maybe,
A shade of... Magenta?
Such lusciousness is dipped and coated
In kindness and love
With a dash of humor
And a pinch of brilliance.
I wish this demoness
Would wrap herself around me
Embrace my flaws
With her perfection.

Sprinkle on your cinnamon lies
Beat your butterfly kisses
Sugarcoat your evil

Tell me, with a sly smile
How your in love
Fake your gum drop beauty

Make me taste your toxic goodness
Poison me with locorice lips
Slip in your own sweetness

Simply shy away
With a strawberry blush
When you know you are caught

Dearest Desire 
You've Set Your Course
Away You Go
Away From Me 
Away From Home
But You Go Peacefully, With Joy.

Maybe I Will Do The Same
But I'll Set A Coarse The Other Way
And Hope I'll Meet You In The Middle Someday
But Moving On
For So Long
Could Make Us Forget By Then.

I Will Hope And Dream
That You'll Do The Same
And Miss Me As I Miss You
Even As Your Living It Up And I'm Turning Blue
We Will Both Sail Away
And Maybe Meet Again One Day

And Then I'll Sink Your Ship.

Drip and drop
Dodge drilling electricity

Simply shelter
Under shady greens

Just jump
Become jittery from jolts

Laugh and linger
On lovely loudness

Hold hands
Hide under the honey suckle host

Trip and try
Trickle through fields

Run and reminisce
While the sky roars