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It happened again.*
It reappeared, as if from nowhere.
There used to be a time that (in some strange way) I would shrug and it would fall off my shoulders. It will not go away and you're not here to take it.
You've had it all along, so why didn't you tell me?
I need a reason to walk away and never speak of this again.
Now I can't (won't) save you. You looked me in the eyes as I had my back turned on you.
It's not that impossible to understand once you know how sorry I was (I lied). I can't do this (and neither can you) but yet I can't stop, or bring myself to face this. I smelled it on your skin and just knew this would be the last time I would have a hold on myself (reality).
But.. still, *
it happened again.
Written when I was 14.
Rewind to every last second you never lived,
and to the forgotten hopes of sad cotton-mouthed stains.
I, for one, never forgave those who have done me wrong.
I guess it's a tragedy, but I never got your name.
A pretty little pink umbrella; you can't get to me now.
You just can't get to me.
Give a foot or a leg to dance, a time to waltz with nothing more than severed limbs.
The rabbit knows what I'm talking about, and he gave the gift of time to those who couldn't take the life of another.
I understand this clearly, please go away.
Leave me be.
The birds just won't stand my songs anymore.
Written when I was 14.
How long ago did it burn? Did you feel it, or did it feel you?
It became papery and weightless, yet it could not be peeled back from which it came. It's been harder to make things easier, but I guess it's only supposed to be that way.
But didn't it die? Don't pretend you weren't there.
I watched you long ago in the privacy of someone else's mind, and from then on, it was set in stone.
I should stop, but I'm not sure how. I can't, we can't. We've been wrong from the very beginning. Shut your mouth and open your eyes, so you can see what I've been searching for this entire time. I'm sorry that I'm not and will not, no matter how this turns up. Believe me when I tell you I will always be, but will never be again.
Don't forget this risk and everything potentially lost from this.
You WILL be torn apart, and your heart will once again burn.
Written when I was 14.
Bullet-wrapped words
Spill from dangerous mouths,
nonchalantly slurping rumors
from fragile adolescence.
A golden-plated intention
wears a mask of gentle feathers,
but becomes warped with ignorance
and indirect self hatred.
Careless and trivial,
the public twists reality
into sweet butter braids,
melting into an oily confusion
that only small children dare to question.
It is I who asks for something more
and aimlessly wanders varying distance
for reasons unknown,
and I float on words of people
I’ve never heard of,  
and follow their fingers as they
carry and steal innocent piano keys,
as if they could truly open locked doors.
Though attempted and failed,
the insignificant longing
trails behind a broken consciousness,
wriggling between the wrinkles of time
and crevasses of awful brain matter,
allowing this to never begin,
never continue,
and never end.
Cold and drifting,
nothingness and floating,
swimming through zero gravity,
the radio-active rays of the sun
glisten and brighten ocean-bound eyes.
A thought.
Small, but significant.
It emerges slowly,
drudging through the whale's mind.

"What is this..?"

The whale said, suddenly self-aware.

"I am of need.. I need something. What I'm suddenly
going to call my 'lungs' hurt.. What does it need?
I think I'll call it.. air?"

The whale becomes even more aware of its existence.

"I'm.. I..  ..."

The whale suffocates in deep space
and dies.

The End.
This was inspired by the book/movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
She is of mild beauty,
  nothing to look twice at.
*****
Her eyes reveal nothing to her inner being,
a soulless glaze of striking black.  
*****
Her smile is crooked and ugly,
teeth stained with ***** yellow.
*****
Her body resembles a rag-doll,
Thin, fragile, and completely used up.
*****
Her pale skin is sickening,
and her limbs are tiny awkward branches.
*****
Her life is meaningless.
Unimportant opinion,
      aging and still taken to heart.
Undeniable echo,
  only ringing when
    it's least wanted.
            Longing and wishing for
         a chance to sink
                  to the floor
    Until the sting of critical words
           smudge.
Existing,
     waiting for forgetfulness.
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