Silent words I whisper to you,
by the tongue of a writer
therapy to my heart
are the words by my hand.

To the world I gave my coldness
my glass full of hopeless intentions,
my doubts, my sorrow,
to you I gave tomorrow...

To the people I give
nothing but a box of smells
I mere reaction to the faction
I often carry around.
But to you I give today...

I scare you with my dedication
to you heart, soul and happiness
you spent a lifetime looking for me
and because I love you with passion
you hide, and run away
you turned our fantasy into a daily repetition of your past.

You cut my ropes
you've built inside me hopes,
you promised me the future
and gave me your pass wrapped in delusion.

You tell me you want this prince,
and you fully describe me,
yet I give you all that and more
and you push me out
and build in me a great remorse.

You believe that I need growing,
that my head is in the clouds
that I need to without you
become a more stable companion.

To that I laugh inside me,
you need to do the growing and the finding,
you claim you want this man
when all you expect is a puppet boy,
you say you want our love,
and each day you make us
a mirror of your old present.

Stop trying to make me less
just because that makes you comfortable,
exit out of your premediated safe zone
built by years of insecurities and control
and give in to us
even you said so yourself... we are soulmates,
stop molding us to your doubts.

I am grown,
I do know what I want, it just so happens to be you
no, this doesn't make me less of a man
this doesn't mean I don't know my heart,
it doesn't mean I need a life without you
to know how to be apart.

My love means that I desire you
that I finally have found you
the love of my life, the pocket for my heart
the only person in my life
for which I have ever and will ever
surrender my pride, and give my heart.

I don't know knowledge
Really… I don't.

All I know is lack of comprehension
And lust for self-inflicting control.

I don't know what there is to know,
life is full of uncertainty,
lack of direction and a good share of false hope.

I don't really want to know,
it will save me from the pain
from the fate of collapsing
or the rare well-made mistake.

I know just some things...
and of those I really am sure.
I'd share them with you, my dear friend
but they won't serve as knowledge at all.

Slow steps, headed to a path of abyss
dragging my thoughts through the streets...

The shades and the shadows that hunt me alone
they follow and follow, nothing I do makes them stop.

Each corner I turn, I'm hoping to become a homeless soul
intending with every step I take, for the last to be all...

It is now 3:17 am, and the stars never looked better before,
it feels almost like they are happy to see me be gone.

Broken bottles on the pathways, cutting through some old shoes
it is only real pain and blood, that grants me another go.

I open my eyes and it was all a false hope at being lost,
I'm afraid to close them again, afraid I liked the nightmare more.

I dream of taking my life
for this would be a sweet paradise.

I hope the hours of my last breath
to be as peaceful and quite as my blood leaving my body.

The moment when I'll get to feel nothing
when I could again, be loved by nobody.

That sweet memory of your eyes scarring my skin
when you broke me, while being cold blooded.

Angels let me die, demons take me alive
make every moment in my life
vanish before my dying eyes.

Dark were the nights
where my heart left the room,
a heart I lost to you
about eight months ago.

With every drop that reached the floor
a new part of me lost control,
for which I knew with certainty
it was you I just lost...

The nights by your side,
the long hours of talking about nothing
sitting in the porch
side by side to the lonely fountain.

That I had just lost
the person who I loved,
with whom I played with
every time my demons won.

That fight after fight
I poisoned you blind,
I shuttered your everlasting
sweet and pure brightness.

That the very thing I promised myself I wouldn't do
that, which I thought I knew I had control,
that for what I hate myself everyday
"that" won, and I've lost.

Somehow the angels looked down on me,
and saw truth in my cries,
they must of seen it...
saw how I became nothing,
how in my darkest moment
as you were leaving
and my soul was aching,
that if I didn't have you
I would have nothing.

The stars aligned once again,
I had you about 8 months ago,
I knew I didn't deserve you
I knew I had no worth
to be called your boyfriend or let alone, your love.
Now I get you again,
you saw something in me
and I think now I do too,
I see an immense love towards you
one I know I can't go without.