lonely nights in a bubble bath with thoughts on how to drown myself;
my joy is as fragile as the bubbles that pop.
my head steams with frustration because  the soap is unable to seep through my veins and clean out my blood supply,
the water cannot soak my brain into a coma state,  
and the tap cannot pour poison.

as we looked at the sunset I knew it was only our love busy burning in hell.
we were smiling but I could feel the energies of death swimming around our intertwined bodies.
your kiss stole my last breath.
our goodnight turned into a goodbye.

the spider crawls up my neck,
tickling my memory
of how your fingers sent shivers down my spine but yet they could **** me at anytime.
your empty promises made me stay before I realized I was stuck in your web of manipulating words.
your love made me feel high but sometimes one's drug of choice is venom.

you were my weapon,
here to protect me.
weapons shed blood
blood that I learnt to swim in
blood that I drowned in
when I asked you to lock away your gun in the safe
little did I know your eyes could be more dangerous than the pulling of the trigger
little did I know your absence would **** me instead of the bullet
because a weapon only protects you until you use it on yourself