That word is thrown around as if it is nothing.

That word is written in books as if we were born to learn it.

That word is spoken in every language.

We strive for that word.

But what is that word?

There are so many different opinions.

There are so many different variations.

There are so many explanations.

We feel it in our hearts.

But how do we know when we feel that word?

It’s hard enough to allow someone else into our minds.

It’s hard enough to give someone our hearts.

It’s hard enough to give someone the power of possessing something stronger than us.

It happens when it’s supposed to happen.

But when do we know that it’s happening?

We read it in the magazines.

We watch it on the television.

We hear it in happy endings in the movies.

This is what I’m feeling now.

But what am I supposed to do with it all?

That word is everywhere. It’s been embedded into our minds since we were children. It’s what we’re supposed to find when we grow up. But, what happens when we find it? What happens when we find even a glimpse of it? Not full-fledged, but the heart gripping, toe tapping beginning stages of it? How are we supposed to handle ourselves? We’re all supposed to find this person that gives us these supposed feelings, and magically feels the same way, and know exactly what to do.

Well, I don’t.

I don’t know what to do with this. I’ve never had this feeling and I’m scared. I’m scared to experience something so exciting, terrifying, heart quenching, body aching, and thought provoking. I want to feel everything 10x harder than I already do because I know it’s possible, but I won’t allow myself. My walls are up because I’m waiting for that word to prove itself worthy of breaking them down.

Two years ago,
Our love began.
Two years ago,
Our hearts were broken.
Time moved on,
As we expected.
My heart still beats back to you,
Still beats back to your name.
Memories of those nights on the couch,
Those drives in the car.
Two years ago,
You let me go.
Two years ago,
My heart held on.