i finally knew
the scope
of my world
yes

it is only as big
as the days and nights
framed
within the window panes

i will not dive into it
nor can i run away
from the everyday changing
of lighting

do not
let me escape
this floating scent of alcohol berries
under my throat

i wish you would
hold me down
and kiss me until my eyes bleed
tears

you at seven in the afternoon
left me in some sort of nonsensical dream
i have learned to make myself
delighted

by sitting here
watching the night slowly
disguising the color of my skin
what is its true color will i ever know

i have given in
to the light
and the lack of it
so i could get along with time

my heart and soul
are given to you
i only need to keep this numbness
underneath my eyelids

you keep
inside the same clothing drawer
where your medicine bottles scatter
the gift she gave you

what remains of the life you had before me
and the love you had before me
or perhaps
you still do

i only have my
silence
the temporary escape
as cheap as a six-pack of mood-cooler

the windows of the house at the street's end
were already lit
i wonder what kind of stories
are going on behind them

do they read like mine
feel like mine
do they make somebody cry
too

there are so many things i do not know
where we are
where we are going
where we are meant to be

it is here
the dark
that will soon reunite me with
my lonely nightmares

Sickness beware,
I will be there,
Weakness watch out,
I'll be her crutch,
Sadness, oh you,
Can back away,
'Cause I'll keep her from your rain,
Anger, calm down,
I will stay my ground,
Fear, fear me,
dare not come near me,
Forget about failure,
Lose all the lies,
All you demons beware,
For her,
I'll be there.

Time for an adventure
Would you join me?
Pick up your life and follow me to the corners of the earth

Past the sea monsters
Through the storm
Just trust me and hold my hand, I promise

We've made it this far
So keep holding on
Past rushing waves and rocking ships
We'll scream at the gray clouds
Dance in the deadly rain
Let's conquer the seasons together

Watch lives fall around
Death sits at our feet
With ripped sails and broken masts

Put your heart in my care
I'll hold tightly
Just trust me and hold my hand, I promise

We've made it this far
So keep holding on
Past rushing waves and rocking ships
We'll scream at the gray clouds
Dance in the deadly rain
Let's conquer the seasons together

Time for an adventure
The search for gold
Let's conquer the seasons together

I'm a conceptual being
I tend to view the world in shades
that most people have only ever seen
while in a dream
and when I try to explain these thoughts that stream
nobody ever seems to fully grasp what i mean

when I take that deep breath
and dive into the depths of my mind
often times, I'm afraid of what I might find
in those dark recesses,
those thoughts of that girl in her summer dresses
I'm still searching for that touch and those sweet caresses
for someone who I can help clean up their messes
that broken winged bird
that i could fix with a word

but this desire to save
to halt the crashing wave
can I really pretend
that it's not me I'm trying to mend?

Poetry is poking through the ashtray
for the lost word I spit away
on the the last cigarette to make sure it was out
(because I sicken from smoke of burning cellulosic filters,)
distracted, tapping another growing ash
into a glass I'll surely sip from later
It'll cough out dry and chalky
from my fingers
they all go to the same place -
whiskey, cigarettes, words -
and presume to have meaning
when it's late,
making a game of speeding clocks
until they're bored and stagger home
to their closet under the stairs,
leaving me to wash their empty glasses
and sweep off the dusty pretensions
they've left on my desktop,
wishing I'd gone to bed earlier
or repotted some geraniums instead.

music and family
do little
to comfort me
now

the sad inevitability
is that my life is getting
****** over for no
reason

welcome to the reality
of reality

I look at the band-aids,
to holes in my skin, the
look of my eyes and all
seems no different

but things are different,
things are dying and changing
and falling apart as all
things do

(welcome to the reality
of reality)

I see the entire world flying past
at seventy miles per hour or more
and they all seem so happy

so perfect

I’ve never known that
perfection

even better off,
even smart,
wiser,
richer,
older,
younger

I’ve never known that
bliss

welcome to the reality
of reality

it’s hard to face
a fate that lives in your
house and eats the
same cereal

hell,
I don’t remember
the last time we
talked

time has come to do it
though

(and I’m ******)

it’s not anger,
not shame,
or hatred,
or cries of
unfairness

it’s just the mere fact
of knowing that I have
to

welcome to the reality
of reality

then I see that I’m alone,
typing to cold machine in
a cold, voluminous space

what have I done to be offended?

outside the trees grow,
the birds fly, the kids
play, the adults drink,
the addicts smoke, the
teachers teach, the eggs
hatch, the new lives live,
and the old ones die

in here
I am left to rot
until the sands of time
themselves
have washed away
into the
mist

the world is alive with living,
the human race does not know
my name,
quietly the world spins in space
quietly she stands out amongst
the black

welcome to the reality
of reality

You have been the engine
I have been
A small part
Of your
Exhaust.
I have been
The breather
The intake
Giving you
Air
To
Burn
To
Run
Right
Over me.