Lucid Dreaming on a Tuesday,
enveloping my consciousness like a letter you never meant to send.
My window seat bed, toasted by the sun
My body is frozen, in the depths of an ocean of synapses
Firing, like a bullet from the civil war.
Evacuate the south, I am suffocating in an oxygen of regret.
A raven flying in a V of geese,
Forced into migration by disorder of priorities.
Living for today is tantalizing until you awake in the abyss of tomorrow,
The story book of life, a chapter of yesterdays.
Nostalgia encompasses the future, make sweet the heavy
Like jelly on a biscuit.
What have I been starving myself for anyway?

Dying of dehydration in a desert with only your tears to save me,
I wouldn’t make you cry.
I would let the sun evaporate my soul, just so I could rain down on you;
Droplets of loyalty shower your face but you deflect me with an umbrella shield.
So the sewer becomes me and I am a river.
Flowing always in your direction.
All metaphors and thoughts that you will never know
And more importantly never understand.
So next time I know to keep away from the desert sand.

Your hands are like ocean waves
Often rough and unthinking
Occasionally gentle and purposeful
But always better than not existing at all

I wanted to swim in them forever
But no one can control the tides
Just as I know you’ll be back when you go
I know that you can never stay

Too afraid to leave the safety of the shore
When it gets too deep no one can stand
So your hands will stay waves
And my heart will stay watching

Until I learn to swim or
You decide to stop.

The stench of broken promises linger in the bottom of empty shot glasses
High heels strewn across the floor, I have become small again.
Black makeup running down my face like a runner in last place,
Temporary maturity bought for seven dollars in a Maybelline bottle.

If only the company we kept were as silent as the stars,
a mistake would dissolve like alka seltzer in the room temperature water
That I can’t stop chugging.
Alcohol depriving me of life essentials like, h2o and the will to live.

A Child bearing the weight of generations
He smiles, but innocence is a loose tooth
Yanked from the grin of a progressive mind
The promise of an under the pillow payment worth the hole in his happiness.

A night in your bed leaves me two aches in the morning,
Both on parts inside of me that only you can touch.
One with your body and the other with your words
But actions soaked in alcohol cant be trusted.

If only bedsheets were made of paper
I would write you promises and let them keep you warm at night
But cotton can only keep secrets
So we will sleep under them and no one will know.

I’ve tried to make you see the difference between blood and an ******,
Because The liquid between my legs cannot pump through my heart any longer.
But your eyes were made for seduction not forever
So why do I see my future in them?

They say actions speak louder than words
so the honesty in my bones cries out as I lay in your arms
But This darkness cant hide in the light of morning
So it’s time for me to go.

A white striped dress hugging my body
clinging to my empty belly,
filled with nothing but too much of the cheapest liquor money can buy.
My lips smiling, a heart the color of the 11:30 sky.
The expectations of birthday hung stagnant in the room
like a portrait of paradise hanging in a museum that no one,
bothers to look at.
Anything but perfection would be a tragedy.

House music beating mercilessly on the drums in my ears,
though I am far from home.
Countless sets of eyeballs pleading with me to not let them leave alone.
Cupid’s name should be overpriced shots because
I fell in love that night.