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 Nov 2011 Molly McCarthy
jdbj
It occured to me that our senses aren't in sync.
I know now that I don't share the same sights as you, we hear what we want to hear, and
our sensitivity meter is subject to the matter.
Arguments are a dime a dozen, just pick a time and place, rsvp is fairly predictable.
I want you and you say the same.
Apologies aren't necessary if you tell me with your heart.

I traded a few hours in a hotel room and nights in the arms of a stranger, just to fill
that void of that love I convinced myself I'll never deserve, the love I have now.
Despite what people may say, I've never felt deserving or worthy enough for another human beings undivided love and attention but I still fight for it.
Making as many friends as possible in any setting I find myself in, striving for attention and acceptance is always one of my main priorities.

My life as always seemed like a never ending masquerade ball, I always hide behind my
mask. Which is how I like it most days. Keeping my secrets to myself, concealing my past, flaws, scars and thoughts that I can never seem to put into words. Exposing them could result in rejection and abandonment, the polar opposite of what I wish to obtain.

I just can't help but feeling so filthy, unwanted, lost, confused, indecisive but most importantly in love.

Baths in acid couldn't wipe away my scars, even after the skin stretched over my bones has melted away, finding my exposed heart there beneath my ribcage beating just for you.

I'm ready to show my face.

— The End —