I ignored it
Like when you see a spider on your bedroom wall out of the corner of your eye
or you see your phone light up with his name at 2am
Because hey, you've gotta get some rest

m.g.

i am unsatisfied with where i am
my desire to be everywhere i am not, is faulty
am i searching for somewhere i can be peaceful?
i don't know
i just know that where i travel is never enough
when i am without you, i desire to be there
when i am with you, elsewhere
i look upon your lovely face questioning why i am still unsatisfied
where do i want to be if not beside you
do i want to be everywhere at once or no where at all
i am tired of trying to achieve the former
i only have one other way to go

m.g.

in my eyes you are a whole meadow of flowers
but you can't even see yourself as one tiny daisy
you are so lovely
i want you to know that i think you are lovely
you are lovely
you are so lovely
bloom, my pretty daisy

m.g.

i like myself when i'm with you
i wish that was more often

m.g.

if you didn't like vegetables
i would eat all of them for you so that you were still allowed dessert
even though i don't particularly like vegetables either

m.g.

in quiet rooms
down quiet corridors there are quiet souls
with minds; screaming
she tells her mind to stop screaming
she tells her family she doesn't hear a thing
she tries to replay every good day
but the stories don't quite align
all that's left are her bones here in this bed
and torn up memories by her side

a shaky hand
a flaking smile
she can count her moments of sanity on one hand
a face remembered
a face forgot
she hears no greetings just goodbyes
tired but not asleep, days and nights reflected in her empty eyes
a moment of clarity was all she needed
a moment she was scared to forget
possessions laid out before her like burnt out cigarettes
she makes up her face, reliving the mornings when she was alive
and she approaches the sunrise, sanity by her side
so clear the world appears when reflected not by her eyes, in the water
there is clarity
she surrounds herself in clarity
she doesn't want to breathe
she only wants to exhale insanity

m.g.

i've never known someone to apologise so many times
and as i approach the fifth month of being disappointed by you
perhaps it's time to move on and be let down by someone new

m.g.

she points out the bags under your eyes
and you tell her they're designer
your smudged lipstick's saying gucci
and your eyes are dolce & gabbana

m.g.

it was  a flood that wrecked my home,
but I'm the one that caused this heavy rainfall and
stole every sandbag  to preserve the memories of you

m.g.

lost in the hallways of your oppressed existence
unaware that one person could accommodate so much tragedy,
you weren't alone but it was hard to tell through all the darkness,
as the world burdened you
you burdened me
unaware that while you were bruising on the outside, i was bruising within
constantly searching for a window to open to scream out "i love you"
you should know that for every poisonous word you hear, i am screaming out "i love you"
and every time you claw at the surface of you and at the entirety of me, i will always scream "i love you"
you convince yourself you're worthless
and sometimes i start to believe it too
but then i find a new door
and unearth something new, stop burying yourself under your discontentedness and let me show you what i've found
you have so much inside you but you don't let us make a sound
i finally find windows but you've got them locked tight
pushing past an ocean of admirers i give up the last of my fight
and with waves crashing behind me, poison seeps through the panes
i lift my hand up to touch it but i still feel the same
i want to open up the latches and scream out "i love you" but i can't say a word
everyone around you is telling you they love you but you lock us away and you don't let us be heard,
yet we consume this poison willingly, and hand in hand wade through the halls
and when we finally find that open window
you know
what we'll call

m.g.

you say you're scared of clowns
but i don't understand
how can that fake smile scare you
and yet you spend so long trying to find comfort in your own

m.g.

i told you i loved you

but you probably weren’t listening

m.g.

like a flame,
afraid of being snuffed out,
trembling as every light breath approaches
aware of how easily you can be consumed,
you flicker in and out of uncertainty
standing tall one minute and shrinking in the next,
apprehensive and waiting,
you assume this fate your own
not exhausted by an entity
but by your thoughts alone

m.g.

when you said you loved me
i was surprised, i'd never seen that look in your eye before
i'd never seen you so close to tears
i'd never seen you so defenceless and raw

when you said you loved her
i wasn't surprised, i'd seen her smile and heard her laughter
i'd seen the way she's not like me
i'd met her friends and how they talked about her

and you may think that she's the one
but i think that you're a fool
because when you told her you loved her
you didn't look defenceless
and you didn't cry
at all

m.g.

i'm drunk
this is a poem

m.g.