Sail away
My own captain
And dream of the seven
You have yet to touch

Let the salt
Fill your lungs
And the depth
Bring you down

As darkness
Encompasses you
And steals
Away your breath

Your thoughts
Upon the waves
Churn your stomach
Making you ill

The moon rises,
In time with a sunken ship
Out of the depths,
For its nightly voyage.

As this titanic vessel
Stirs the tranquil waters of the dark,
The crescent above guards it
From the inevitable light to come.

And as time spirals back to day
The sun lurks unto the sea,
Recoloring the waves
From the night's black to day's blue-green,

The celestial orb of night
Slows its chase of the boat
Whose nighttime travel
Quiets to drop anchor,

Forever blanketed
By sundown.
Forever led by the moon.

There's no one telling you
Where to go
Or what to do
Or who to be.

Sounds lovely,
Really.
But that's not the full truth
There's always cons.

You can't count on anything
If there aren't any rules.
You can't count on rocks being solid
Or gravity being ever present.

You will never know
What's to happen next
Or after that
Or before you even came here.

No one's given you guidelines
You receive no help
Totally alone
And lost

Today you wake up
And something is different
Something is more different than all the different in every other day you wake up,
and feel different.

Something is almost
Wrong.

You reach your hand over to feel her skin
Yet you only feel the covers
Odd.

She's making breakfast
You think to yourself

You hope

You flip your feet over the side of the bed
and feel around for your slippers,
Missing.

You ***** around for your glasses,
Gone.

With blurred vision and wobbly steps
You make your way down the steps
The kitchen is a wreck

No trace of the girl.
This is how you lose her.

Riddle me this,
Riddle me that
How the world can move forward
But you stay back.

Frozen in time
With chills
Down your spine

The edges become
Ripped, wrinkled
Unkind

Monsters jab from behind you
And flooding waters rush towards your front
You've been left with no protection
In a world that is so blunt

And still you're glued
To that night
In the hospital where he
Lay

And you screamed you lashed
You scrambled and wept
You pushed the death away

Your eyes had dried
And yet your heart
Still feels broken through the core

You'll never get over this death
I fear
Forevermore.

Bluebells hanging down from their stems
No metal is there
But still you hear the ringing

Brushing by a jasmine bush
Its branch leaving a scratch on my arm
But its petals, a wonderful fragrance in my memory.

The big blue
Step on something sharp
A mystery of what is below

in dim light
smoke fills the room
lays a dusty filter
over the walls
covers my eyes

i close the windows
the blinds
the curtains
shut the door
lay a towel at the bottom
and suppress all light

i allow the fumes
to arrest my throat
entangle my body
around itself
and leave me fetal

and as my consciousness
becomes scarce
a smile spreads through my lips
and onto my face
my body, as numb as can be

wrinkled sheets
fall asleep with me
strangle me

as i wake
in a surprise sweat
searching the mattress
for the feeling of flesh
against mine

for the smoothness of skin
and goosebumps rubbed together
seeking warmth

for the curve of her breast
as she lay
back against my chest

for the bumps of her spine
as she arches her back
embraces a pillow
i search for her smell
honeysuckle and almond

i search for the taste
of her mouth, her cheek,
her neck

all i feel
is the soft
delicate folds in the fabric
of my blanket

the only source of heat
that i have left

she left

A queen she is called
Rich with light hair
Bright like the sun
It shines.

And in her eyes
The deepest sea's
Savage waves
Are calmed with the batting of long, dark lashes


Her lips,
Like pomegranate
Together or apart
Keep a perfectly hidden kiss

The skin she occupies:
Immaculate
Like the body
She wears with grace

Yet within this ruler
The flawlessness
Of her exterior
Has vanished.

Inside her brain,
Dark brooding
Thoughts
Roam around.

Senseless ideas
Nestle in her heart
Looking for the passage
To the outside world.

Her locked mind
Has time
To wander
Behind shut lips.

To infest with
Musings of better places,
Of welcome speech,
And worlds beyond this.

Yet,
She cannot
Get through this life
With such thoughts

Soon enough
They begin
To gnaw
Her

Breaking her down
Piece by pretty piece.
The beauty of her face
Will soon be absent,

An ugly exterior
To match
What had been
Flooding her insides.

All I own is Time.
Time is all Mine.
I can spend it any way I want,
On anything I want,
Any Time I want.
Once you spend something like Money,
It becomes the possession of someone else.
But when you spend Time
It becomes lost, wasted.
That time can never be used again.
It's my choice to use as I wish.
All I own is Time.
Time is all Mine.

Drowning in this water,
I sink deeper.
Down, down, down.
The air I once breathed:
Absent.
And taking its place:
this cool, clear liquid.
As I fall farther into this
Cold, dark, forgotten
Sea,
My veins fill with ice.
I freeze.

Drifting.
Down, down, down
Into this piercingly bitter
Abyss.
I am solid, like a statue.

But suddenly,
My veins shatter,
My skin cracks.
A million scales form,
Shimmering blue to silver then back again
As the angled light hits them.

I inhale and exhale the salty water
My legs come together
Stuck,
And yet as relaxed as ever.
Like wearing flippers,
I swim purposefully into the dark,
With the ability of rising to the surface,
But the hunger, now, to dive deeper
Than ever before.

I wish I was
Strong
Enough

To do something
Stupid
On an impulse

To be
Mindless
If only for a moment

To not be
Afraid
Of the aftermath

To be what I always wanted
Free
From any chains binding me

I wish I was
Strong
**Enough.

Some days,
I wish I were
A jellyfish.

Brainless,
Spineless,
Speechless.

Floating
Along the waves,
Through the seaweed.

Feeling everything,
Yet not caring
About a thing.

Focused
On that motion:
Push, glide.

Not getting
Anywhere important,
Just here.

That sounds nice.

Numb
As I mumble a quiet,
"Hello."

My eyes drift away
My mind too
That day

The beating figure
My chest holds
No heart here

This ****** mess
Could never be a heart
Not again.

Broken
The Hate
Slides down my cheeks

At the corner of my eye
Like a stormcloud
My tears rain

The swell when I swallow
I cough
I hack

I need a reason
The reason
You're there and I'm here

So far away.

I am alone
For right now.
And I do suppose
That is the way I like things to be.

Alone for a moment
Everything alone has beauty.
Yet put together,
Perfection begins.

Though people then begin to ask
That age old question.
Perfection is what,
For in what you see perfection I see destruction.

For in what you see beauty
I see nothing of the sort.

In the ground I grow
I grow plump
I grow red 

Once I am all done
I am yanked out of my home
Yanked out of my warm dirt 

I am taken with strong hands
Placed in a basket
Where I meet all of my brothers

We will all have the same fate
We are baked
Slowly dying

We stain the hands of our murderers
We are no longer whole
We are gone

Bright orange strokes
Painted on
Cover the top of the canvas
As your stare travels down
Reds, purples, pinks
Splashed on the rest of the empty space
A sunset is what I picture
Closing my eyes I can feel the heat of the sun
On my face
Shining from the sky
Art is the concrete imagination
That we are always searching for

I don't think you understand
Why this is the way I am

You really need to know
Why my self-esteem's so low

You probably won't care what I have to say
But I gotta tell you anyway

You hate me, you rate me,
With your stupid words

But I just try to fly above them
Like a little bird

Though every time you say something mean,
It's like trying to shoot me down

And I don't have much of a choice
But to fall right to the ground

And you don't even have a clue
What those stupid words really do.

To get my point across
I must say it in the little lines
I'm not so good at putting words together
Making them work as a story
Finishing it
It just doesn't happen
So this is the best I can do
Sometimes I'll leave it in a cliffhanger
But sometimes
I meant to do it.

I'm not sure what I'm feeling inside
It's all wind and fire and ice
It's anger, but it's calm
It's like being underwater in stormy seas
Above me, there are crashes, screams, pain
And here I am, trying not to float up to it
Trying to hold my breath
For as long as possible
Before I have to join them
Or I'll drown

Beauty crowds me til I die
In the most peculiar places
A wave on the ocean front
A changing of seasons, autumn to winter
A choice
A kiss
A love
Beauty is all around me
Why am I not allowed to have it as well?

Bring me the sunset in a cup
And the sunrise in a kettle
I want to know what is hiding behind those mountains in the distance
I wish to hear the birds chirping sweetly in the morning
I have to see the clouds change color before my eyes go dark
I need to feel the chilled air on my skin
I must taste the rain that falls from the sky
Bring me the sunset in a cup
And the sunrise in a kettle

If I were to pour out my bag, myself, there would first be numerous scraps of paper, doodles and small notes. Then maybe some pieces of brightly colored cloth. There would be coins, representing all the change in my life. Miles and miles of film would fall down to the floor. Notebook upon notebook would slam on top of each other, filled with writing. Stick-on-the-ceiling-stars would fall down from the darkness inside the bag. Those are from my childhood. Caps from jars full of summer fireflies would drop down, making a ‘klink’ as they hit the ground. Socks with holes would float slowly to the landing. Pieces from board games, little Candyland men would tumble out, doing cartwheels through the air. Past trinkets and toys, a few postcards, jewelry from past generations, all things that are or were a part of my life….

Harsh I know.
These words from my lips.
But they must come out.
They must be said.
You must know the truth.
We loved each other.
Now there is only me.
And soon to be a child.
You left.
I am all alone.
I don't know where you are.
Even if I did,
I'm not sure I would come for your help.
You hit me.
It hurt.
I bled and bruised and you didn't care.
You watched me in pain.
And now our child may suffer because of it.
I have no money,
no support.
I will die alone.
I do not know what will happen to the baby.
My parents have both died in the last year.
I don't know how to say this,
I need help.
Not yours.
But somebody.

Things are looking up
It is love
No one can tell me it's not
I am young
People call me crazy
But I know this feeling
Things are looking up

Sitting on a bench, I saw
The most peculiar thing
A ******* bird came swooping down
Wearing a diamond ring
 
He looked at me as I stared back
Not sure what to do
Then the bird, so very quickly
Took my own black shoe
 
I ran after him yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!”
But he didn’t care to listen
So I started putting up signs all over town
That said my shoe had gone a’missin’
 
I searched and searched, I looked all day
And nothing did I find
Until the ******* bird
Appeared inside my mind
 
He came when I was sleeping
It was almost like a nightmare
He told me that I’d never get my shoe back
And that I should cease to care
 
But that’s something I would never do
I needed that shoe of mine
That was my only pair that was black
I wore them when I went to dine
 
Once I had looked
For almost thirty years
I finally let out
My sad, surrendering tears
 
The bird had won
I decided that
I did not plan
On getting that shoe back
 
Once the first tear fell from my eye
I heard a knock on my door
I opened it, yet no one was there
I looked down to the floor
 
And that’s when I saw it
My very own black shoe!
I could not believe my eyes
I thought it was all a dream too
 
Then on the underside of the shoe
There was a little note
It was signed from the bird!
And this is what he wrote:
 
Dear Miss Shoe Owner,
I am sorry to make you cry
All I wanted was a little fun
Now I guess this is goodbye
 
I cried and cried, I cried all day
But they were happy tears
For that bird had kept me running
Through all these years
 
Thank you ******* bird
Wherever you may be
You forever and always will
Be a friend to me

You ask me what's wrong
And I lie to you.

I can't tell you the truth
Because my problem is you.

You're tearing me apart
Bit by bit.

And you have no idea
How it's killing me.

Every day there's a smile on my face
But it's fake.

You'll never know
And that's what hurts the most.
And that's what kills

She seemed so beautiful
The girl sitting on the bench
But what no one knew
Is what she held closest to her
The secrets of her past
Haunt her forever
The tears she cries when she's alone
They will never stop
They'll always be there
Falling
Dropping
No matter what she does
They won't go away
She can't tell anyone
The memories hurt too much
That ******* the bench
She seemed so beautiful
But no one knew
The way she felt inside
Now it's too late
We'll never know

That sunset
It's turns yellow to pink to purple to blue
Then black
It's dark
No light
Then it begins all over again
Who am I to say when it will stop
Who am I to predict the day the world will stop turning
I am no one
I am nothing
I am human
I am me