Staring into an abyss, longing, quenched, but alive

Seeking answers to questions that weren’t there

Waiting for someone unknown, something unseen

Or, waiting for someone well known, never beyond sight

Longing for a moment while time flew by

Ah those miserable eyes, my father’s eyes!


Clearer than a crystal and deeper than a ocean

Saying all without saying at all

I felt secure even from a thousand miles

Knowing you are there to pick me if I fall

Now who's there to listen to my cries

Ah those miserable eyes, my father’s eyes!


Once they sparkled like a thousand bulbs

with unabashed stare that pierced your soul

Now they are pale, the lights long gone

as always, time has taken its toll

Now I know how time flies

Ah those miserable eyes, my father’s eyes!


As I sit back now, with no roof over my head

No longer a child with you gone afar

Like a rudderless boat in a vast ocean

lost, looking for that elusive morning star

nothing above me, but the dark skies

Ah those miserable eyes, my father’s eyes!


I still had to say a lot, more than I ever did

I know you know that, as you knew me always

I just want to say, I love you dad, I always did

I wish I could tell that to you, on your face

When I saw those eyes, the lifeless eyes, the longing eyes

Ah those miserable eyes, my father’s eyes.

Why does this hurt so much
when what I reaped was what I sowed
I feel drained and worthless
I guess yesterday I could have bowed.

I never thought that it would come to this
after all we had to endure
but then I should have known better
when you looked beyond me as if unsure.

You look past me as if I am clear
like there is somebody beyond me
like I'm a pebble among rocks
or the smallest star that can be.

Why do you not notice me?
What do I have to do
to make you realize, to make you see
That I am the only one who's for you.

A song of pain

Whenever I open my heart to you
You plunge your knife right in
That is how it felt yesterday
When you hurt my soul, once again.

Emotions are a fickle thing
I should have kept my soul closed that day
For it was only my pride that was hurt
Now I fear that I've scared you away.

I love you now and will always, ever
But the time is wrong for me to tell
I came away feeling nothing but hatred
Not for you, for me, damning myself to hell.

I hope that you'll get to read these
My words are here for you to keep
Will you still whisper sweet 'I love you''s
As you lay down beside me and go to sleep?

As I lay peacefully, listening to hushed whispers,
I hear slight commotion, and few distinct voices
People talking about me, but not to me
They are all there for me, with me, but I don’t exist
I hear again, faint voices, mumbled words
unclear, subdued whimpering, escaping
from strangled, hoarse weary throats
is someone crying, or am I dreaming
no way, I won’t be dreaming ever again!

Who would want to **** a sob, I wonder
as if afraid that I would know
I want to open my eyes, one last time and see for myself
tears are dead giveaways.
but then, I kept them closed for I wanted to rest
overtaken by the exhaustion of days, thousands of them
the sobs would fade away, they often do
but such tranquility is rare for me
and rare presents need to be preserved.

And then, I am lifted, awkwardly but firmly
‘be gentle, be careful’ someone cried
the shoulders carrying me are firm, I could feel them
firm shoulders are blessings sometimes
I would know, I have lent a few myself
I felt like a king, in new clothes, and perfume
being carried majestically, while small crowd followed
let the journey begin, I heard them say
While I lay still, savoring the moment.

One more step and my world leaves me
or, is it that I am leaving the world
it was hard to tell among the crowd
as I was gently carried out.
I stepped out in open, never to return
leaving home with each new step, for a new home
I passed the tree, my favorite tree
I wanted to feel it, one last time
but turned the corner and it was all gone, forever.

I had sudden urge to scream
and stop, and turn and run back home
I tried to open my eyes, but saw no light
no trees, no road, no sun, or sky
my limbs failed me for once, and refused to budge
I lay there, exhausted, anguished, forlorn
I gave in to my fate, forgoing my pride
no sense of direction anymore, no aim, no destination
I was led to somewhere, unfamiliar, unknown

I heard a commotion and I stopped
while I was lowered gently to the ground
my new home is near, I thought
is it spacious, is it clean
does it have a window or two, I wondered
for me to peer out and see the world
but then I realized there is no world for me outside
this is my new world and I don’t need windows
I can just lie down and see my world forever

Then I felt a hand on my face, gentle and tender
I knew the hand more than my own
for, the tiny hands might have grown a bit bigger
but they were in my hands long enough
holding my fingers, or being held on other times
exploring the world with me, dreaming, laughing
the scent is distinct, unchanged with time
the skin still tender, and feel still heavenly
and then, I could not feel the hand anymore.

I was lifted one last time, as I was ushered in my new home
spacious, clean and with plenty of leg room.
the smell of the soil, as strong as ever
while the door above me was shut for ever
I lay there, exhausted, with no feelings, no desires, no love, no dreams
it has been a long way, when I look back
the journey was great, I admit, while it lasted
is this the final destination, or just a milestone
or I have just discovered a whole new world.