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Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
I renounce you
You brought no mirth to my gardens
I sacrificed my life for your sake
And all what around me is fake
I held to your world in astray
Where I fall to your hell day by day
Where you told me these red flames are paradise
When you lead, I followed with blind eyes
Where you took me to the unknown
But you knew I was the forsaken one

Rejoice,
I have no choice
You no longer hear my voice

I am lost and forever I roam
Everywhere I go but still in my room
Yes I surrender
Cuz I was under your wing and you tore me apart
When I refused to heed, you killed the mercy in your heart
I feel sad, because both ways tell me I am lost
And this is what I tried the most
Goodbye to me, for you are hovering all around in my memories
Memories will never sleep, you make them weep
Death is not a solution, neither life
Awkward how I see you in the corners of my life
I miss that your were gone
Am I that easy, so you won’t let go?
Or there is something you know ?
And I am to blame for being so ignorant
Or may be your simply Arrogant
We talked enough, but never enough for you
No matter what lie you tell, in the end it’s the truth
I loved you so much that I hate you more
I wish that you walk out that door
But you just made my life a room with endless mourn
Goodbye, for my farewell is meaningless
You are here nonetheless
Defy me again and I will smash your face
What face? I can no longer see
Or Hear
Or Feel
Oh, Yes I do feel

And wished that feelings lost in translation
Endlessly in hesitation
Meaningless are the definitions you make
Leave, And I will be broken for your sake
I shall not rise, I am not that strong
And your hymns are like bad songs
Lyrics written million years ago
When no one was there to judge
Now, all of these puppets, and my soul is an entertainment?
Hope I am providing your amusement
For the first time in my life I write on toilet paper
Because, throwing me in the trash doesn’t mean you are my savior
Because I'm lost beyond my reach
And even if you bring me back I am down on my knees
I will not rise or I will not fall
Because in the void there is no motion
There is nothing but a body and soul
That breaths for your own goal
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart
Thank you for giving up on me
For bringing me all the way for my misery
And even if I die, suffering will reign my destiny
Thank you again and again
I miss the old days
When your promises where revealed
Where no wound to be healed
If I can ask you something, but I know you won’t hear
So the question of what I want, dies with me
Like an old joke, told since the ages of Atlantis
And as much as no one lived in there
I was nowhere, an existence lost in presence
Then I lay back waiting for nothing
May be, nothing is better than your abjection
Because you win after all...
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
Books covered with dust on the shelves of my life
Words omitted, Forgotten or not accompli
Birds sang no more in the storms of deceit
No leaves left in the branches of the Memory tree

Schizophrenic attitude from lost meanings and definitions
Spending a whole life in delusion or fake Ideas
People I spent my life with, turned into marionettes
Hopeless faces and diminished hopes discoursing Aporia

In Sickness
In Dementia
In Eternal Fight
In Hypomania
Lost
In Insomnia
What else
In Amnesia
Who am I?
In Dysthymia

Visions of dear, lost in the addiction to smoke and beer
Now the glass is empty, I am Paranoid
Walking in the streets, where to go? Just following my feet
Everyone is staring in disdain, I am Schizoid
Natural Disasters, time passes by like it never passed by

Dreams like reality, where is it? Where is Adam and Eve?
Nobility, loyalty, and all this nonsense of history
Now the time for thieves and the aces in their sleeves

Don’t look at me
In Scopophobia
Leave me alone
In Ochlophobia
Stop your war
In Hoplophobia
What’s doomsday?
In Theophobia
Who am I?
In Phobophobia

Now what happened, happened
I don’t dare to change
I surrender to the glowing eyes of the Sun
In the daring waves of the grain fields
No other chance in the middle of the symmetry

Run Away Run Away
Dare you to stay
Double Dare You
Laughter
Run Away Run Away
Dare you to stay
No Way

Where will you go? There is always a horizon in the end of the day
This thin line of endless misery will never fade
Close your eyes and you lay, as you surrender to failure
Open your eyes.

Arbela
Metaurus
Tours
Baghdad
Jerusalem
Hiroshima

Wait there is a light coming through that hole
Is there a crack in this mighty wall?
Shall I look through or will I ruin it all?

Dare You to Look
Double Dare You
Laughter
I will look and see through history
Look and see who my ancestors were
Dare you to look
Wait, I will double dare you

Khan
Vlad
***
Dada
Sheridan

Digging graves
Writing names
Changing fates

I believe in you
No longer a Human
Depraved of emotions
Dare you to stand in my face
Double dare you
I will run away
Dare you to Say
Dare you to Stay

What is the point of saying?
You **** like breathing, Lord of the Flies
You are an anathema
Genocide, all men are slaves

What is the point of staying?
You pour the pain like rain from the skies
You are an artist
In the Art of **** and depravity

Symmetry, who sets the scales of balance?
Apathy, who will care more than me?
Futility, why do you set a course without reason?
Sanctuary, where is the shelter?  Never existed anyway

Come with me across the ocean of suffering
When we land you will live forever
In peace and innocent laughter

Fool me again, and what about the memories of hurt
Leave my hand, all what I had, was falling from the edge
You have no glimpse of an idea where you’re taking me
All those promises of faith and immortality

Wait,
A Moment of clarity
A Degree of Sanity
A Victim of Society
A Beautiful Monstrosity
A Nocturnal Supremacy
A Diminished Eternity
A Puzzle of Ecstasy
A Ballet of Tragedy
A Tide of Tranquility
A Motivation for Obscenity
A Divine Eulogy
A Celestial Obituary

Before I gave up on Him, He Gave up on me
Who Am I? Who is He?

Dare you
Double Dare you
Take your Daring Away

The Art of **** and Depravity
Faith and Immortality
Lord of The Flies
Darius and Alexander
Khan and the end of the last civilization
Dracula
Amerinds and our Forefathers
Salahaldin and a million corpses for the sake of salvation
Ruhollah

In the end I am to blame
Yes this is the price of fame
The Infamous human
The Beast of Mystery
The Bringer of Misery
The Vandal of Humanity
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
In a mood of silence, I sat on the balcony
I looked at everything around me
Things are loud and noisy
Car horns drive me crazy
Began to feel sad and lonely
Can’t I be dancing in the fields of fantasy?
Lying under the shade of a tree
Where I can be only me
No rules, no laws, I just want to be free
But then I’m back to reality
Then amid this chaos came a breeze
Brought the humidity of the seven seas
Brought the scent of the spring trees
I just couldn’t stand it, and fell to my knees

There was a flying flower
Drawing a rainbow in this happy hour
The clouds were no more
And the sun shone on the happiness door

This flower was dancing in harmony
It was fluttering, playing a Mozart symphony

But that was no flower dancing in the sky
It was the prettiest butterfly

I asked ‚Can I fly with you?
And sail around the way you do?‛

She said ‚Come, we will have so much fun
I will take you so high, to the summer sun‛

I tried but I don’t have wings to fly around
No matter how I tried my feet were on the ground

She moved a wing in a dance
And with simple glance

She filled me with feelings of ecstasy
Never felt this way, like sailing to the eternity

Where endless emotions fly to the forever
When we keep our eyes cherish each other

When we go so deep
Our eyes can’t sleep

Lost in world beyond description
Filled with divine emotions

But when I open my eyes and see myself on the balcony
I had that distant look with a smile of serenity
Where I have been in dreamland with my fairy
And still the great feeling echoes in reality
Where I smile to the sun as it shines upon me
Where I write this poem smoking my cig, and drinking my coffee
And yet I want to be back to the balcony
To enjoy endless feelings of great moments with her company
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
Rise from two blood rivers
Rivers use to be so blue

Standing on a mountain of bodies
Bodies that used to step on you

Serpent Tongue, Vicious eyes …
You are a body of lies

Stealing happiness from others
You enjoy their cries

Calling by not existing faith
To have a license to ****

Calling by not existing faith
For higher ascensions, for sick will

Calling by not existing faith
To enslave people, and show them hell

In this amazing existence
You’re no more than a large insect
You torture people to gain their respect

Respect is earned not usurped
But fantasies could be a torment

You see with blind eyes
That if you see at all !!
No compromise, ****’em all

Don’t you know that every nation will fall
And they shall rise?

Don’t you know, you made us suffer enough?
And we shall judge your vice

Hideous beast
You draw pain on people face

What comes around goes around
In time, you’ll hike in disgrace

A Fanatic
To no side, but his own

Genocide
Under you fragile throne

Spiteful,
A heart of cold stone

****,
You made people mourn

You hold a sword of religion that doesn’t exist
You call for unheard justice with iron fist
You walk to the unknown and inevitable mist
You are no savior, no angel, and no prophet

Pitiful, Sick and twisted mentality
Dismal, fool beyond insanity
Spiteful, swollen with his servility
Parasite, scornful identity

Sun, fell behind the sea
Crown, Broke with shame obduracy
Soul, Cursed with dim agony
Mind, brought us sheer calamity


To be or not to be
It’s between you and me
I will be free
Behold my fathers’ legacy
Kneel to my ferocity
You’ll be judged guilty
Verdict without mercy
You will serve your penalty
With endless agony,
Those who believed your heresy
Fake faith and deceptive reality
Shall fall, and test your misery
I shall send your ashes to the sea
When you are unknown history
When you and your fantasy
Become pages in lethargy
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
When I look deep inside
When I found where I hide
The mask I see in a reflection
Tells me lies of my perfection
Into a twister of oppression
Into sea of depression

When things that I love I hate
When things I remember I forget
When enemies are friends
When every action tailed with regret

To empty places are sanctuary
To run from the rain to the sea
To seek for pain after misery
To escape for me to me

Then angel with white wings
Touched my hand
And showed me the Promised Land  
But sins turned the water to sand
And the pain killed the heart and mind

I had to let go and flee
She came again black winged in perfect ******
I can see her tormented body
Tormented from my agony  
She looked in black crystal eyes
Spoke in hymn of sore harmony

I spoke in tender certainty
Words like whisper of eternity
We both muttered in unity


- Her -
Embrace the silence and listen
To me ...Our time is short...
My words are pure...
I used to dream of the beauty in your eyes
Then I found that you are my eyes...
Now if I should say good bye ... I won't
The life in your hands, more cold winters to send
More falling autumn leaves
Never miss me, Have my words clear...
Love You My dear...
Now I will give you my back and fade...
And you'll cry inside without a tear to shade
Tears like sad moon in eclipse...
Your touch frozen cold but filled with emotion...
Sleep well as I fly in contrition


- Me -
I can see in your eyes …
Nothing, don't know can't find…
Anything just the reflecting of my eyes
Sad crystal like shattered glass
Out of mirth like broken ice
On a cursed land, where is no path
Halo of lost moon…Fade to fallen parts
Can't go deep or reveal your lies
I have lost in me
Like worm trash in feint fire
My hope … My last day life
A sunset, a pure wind…
A book end, my soul to ascend
Cold…Can't pretend
All I know I'm out here and my body is dead...
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
Sitting lonely in my room, thinking of you
The light from the candle dancing on the wall
The wind that came from the window chilled my soul
Still not broken and won’t surrender to the fall
Then i heard a sound echoed in the hall
I ran hoping to see your shinnig face
A sigh came blaming the distances that made us apart
But in the middle of the silence came a sound ...

It was the beat of my heart
It was the whisper in the wind
It was the tear in my eyes
The white cloud that covered the moon
All telling me onething...
Miss you like the drizzling rain of April
My heart burns like the flame of the candle
Miss you my strength, my hot sun of summer
You are my dear friend, my great source of power

It’s been long time since I wrote to you
The ink in my pen is going to dry and fade
Without you I feel like i have no shade
Without your inspiration nothing need to be said
Not for you, I have nothing in my list to be made
Thinking of you every moment makes me a hero
Singing for you in my heart something worthy to do

It’s again the beat of my heart
It’s something beautiful like your smile
Something pretty, like your blushing cheek
And wounderful like shining sun to my face
All telling me on thing...
Miss you like missing the water in the river
Miss you like unleashing a missing forever
Miss you my love my rainbow
You are my wings and my final straw

Calling you everyday to tell you how much I love you
Telling you to close your eyes, there is something I wanna do
Wanna hold you in my arms and won’t let go
Kiss your neck, your cheek every sweet place I know
Tickles you with my fingers, you look unbelievably divine
Wanna play with your hair and promise you that you’re eternally mine
Give me kiss, you know it adore you honey lips
Hold me tight, don’t lose me, wanna feel your grips

And so once again the beat of my heart
It’s the great feeling when I know you need me
Something so sweet when you silently look at me
And amazing like the touch of your hand
All telling me something
Miss you like a blind misses the light
Miss you like purity in ***** dress white
Missing you my love, my perfect beautiful days
You are my love, forever and for always
Mohamed Amer Nov 2011
Sadness hovers in the corner of my thoughts
As I look to the future , wreathed in shattered hopes
A glimpse of the trivial past, that defines nothing
A look to the darkness doesn’t bring the spark of tomorrow
A fake hope only brings superfluous sorrow
A man with black suit in rainy street
A girl in the desert with umbrella , bare feet
A lady holding an empty cradle
A blind with walking stick, laying in bed
Absurd is the sense of need
Meaningless is the voice of grief
To tell a truth is to lie to myself
I miss the day where I knew I have no choice
To go that way, like sailing in a river
The big blue won’t ****** me with directions
The beautiful purple orange of the west
But the stars lead the way in the dark
Or the beautiful red with yellow of the east
And the heat of the day murders the merit of my diligence
No power can help the restless
I chose not to chose , but what will be my destiny
Is it really written? Or I really have to write my fate
But what if the book of life has no end
And the terminal of life leads to one flight
A flight that takes me back home
Where the journy never end
And my ship never set sail
And the winds blow no more
The flowers won't bloom
A journy to the where it all began
Caught endlessly in the sands of time
Mohamed Amer Oct 2011
In the night a stranger walked by the famous ruins of old
Where folklore stories of horror and pain were told
The moon illuminates the silver light on the statues of gold
He walks between the walls
In the big rooms and halls
Hearing the screams and howls
He slept and he hears those cries
The clouds blocked the moon and the skies
He slept covering himself, but can’t close his eyes
In the middle of the silent night and awe
Where a place filled with pain and sorrow
Shows the truth behind the yesterday and morrow
He heard that sound of wailing and mourn
He walked through the halls, and thorns
Into a hall where all the memory were gone
Stood a wraith of woman, her looks, pained
Her white silken dress , stained
Face of beauty, Maimed

“who are you stranger?” she asked
“I am a man with passion of knowledge” he bowed
“will you tell the world of my grief?” she wailed
“For I promise thy, I shall not reveal your lines” he promised
“Thou art alone, sire?” she looked with fear
“I am a ranger, loneliness is my companion and books are my dear
“then sharpen your memory, and come near”

“A gift was sent from a stranger to the queen of thorn
A portrait of her constellated graceful face
And the sad moon that describes her camphoric eyes
With wolf standing on the mountain edge
Filled the paint fear from his bidding howl
Saying "Thou my beloved one come to me...
I'll let you drink from the water  of the cemetery
That came from my tears of suffer
At midnight I want you in the middle of the trees
That hides the sun beneath a nocturnal sin
Put on your head the silken veil
And make your lips dark like a limp night
With sorrel cheek like wilted bouquet”
And there in the day, where the moon murders the sun
We shall bring the abomination undone
I pledged myself to thy lord of pain
Where I come with the scent of jasmine
But in all the dreads of the woods and fog
A hymn, a chill came in the air like a farewell song
I ran to where I found him there
Laying on the ground
Blood stained the autumn leaves
The wild wailed out loud
When the clouds cherished no moon
Covered forever the hope that lingers for long
I kissed his dry violet lips
He hissed one last time with one word
“Ashara”
His voice came like thousands arrows to my chest
Like million razors cut my veins
Like wrath of the seven gods raged the land
Like the crucifix nails came through my hands
I sat there where the winds took the veil away
My bare foot betrayed me
I sat near his white body in shy ******
Where I talked to him, but the answer was the true misery
His silence never replied but my words were agony
His cold body lay there as his closed eyes covered the cruelty  
I whispered back to him
"I know what you don't want to reveal
I see you nevermore"
I knelt at the dried shores of my dead betrothed
I hold its rose tight, my eyes shed and the hand bled
Its thorn poisoned the blood into flickering whispers
"The Love Is Dead"
Thine welt appeases my heart ridge, Grieved the moon
No shores to the lost one
Abide your "Hello”
You're dead I know
You're not far, I'll follow
I'll vanquish the raven of sorrow
I will come when the sun falls to regal spirit of darkness
Sear the voice of the waves and enthrall light to pallor
All silence abhorred and riot sword enforce
When the acrid eye of their lord's orders to be heed
And scarlet breath of new dawn won't be set
Wrest from the sleeping shore
The land of smoldered paths to heaven
The primeval virulent Sign leads towards spilled blood
I will avenge thee, and I shall lay next to thee
I love thee, Thine love hath healed
And their pain shall be reeled
I conquer their land to reach your heaven” she mourned
“And did you reach heaven?”
“heaven is history
Laughter only in memory
When he said my name, that was the end”
“and thou lay by his side?”
“I lied but his spirit gone astray
My life was hopeless, so was my dismay
And forever I roamed here endlessly
Neither death or life gave me salvation”
“is that all?”
“my story is an amusement to you?”
“your life but simple and tragic”
“there are many tales in life that means nothing to many
But when you are that person in that story
It means everything, it means the smile and joy
It means every day in life, a life means everything
Where you think it’s nothing, It  is everything
Every word you read, is my filled with feelings
Go ranger, And thou art forbid from thy memory
You shall not remember this or me
And my story is my own for my own misery”

— The End —