I wander lost through a valley
My shadow is death
No will power left inside me
Not even to take a breath

I lost someone very dear to me a few years back

A dear person, a near person
A “Let’s be clear,” have no fear person

I got out of a relationship that made me a more efficient me
But I was to blame…

I remember the days when I was happy inside
Filled up with pride and kept asking myself is she mine?

Days when I went above and beyond the line of duty
Days when I couldn’t help but admire her beauty
But like Mr. Houston said “I wasn’t ready”

So what is love if love is life?
What is wrong but soon turns right?
How do I describe these feelings that I have for you inside?
All my senses shut down and all my words just hide

I feel bliss when I’m in your presence
That’s because you mere essence is a blessing
A present for me alone and nobody else and you know I ain’t messing

I want to tell you something and you know it’s going to be true.
Yesterday I had a final exam and it said: What is life?
And my answer was:  You.

I am alone on a boat sailing nowhere
Upon a bed of tears my heart bled
This world holds nothing for he who deserves nothing

A simple wave would have made my day…

Hello? … Maybe next time

A cold wind strokes my Janus face
My façade inclines me to tempt grace
Why be so bad as to shun me from this place?

The ties that bind me to all, I’ve cut
While the hate I fester inside head butts
Me into a coma fit for a fiend…
Of me your hands are finally clean.

They say the good die young.
I’m still here
But then again so are you!
Who’s to say you didn’t make me this way?

Hello? … Maybe next time.

Why should you be the one that’s true?
When all you do is treat me cruel
Why are you the good and clean and me always the crack between?
Un and Clean?

It seems that we, meaning you and he
Have cast me away despite my plea
O woe is me.

One last thing before I go
There is one thing I’d like to know
Why wasn’t I also asked to sleepover?
I like watching movies too.
The only one who didn’t know
Was the one who wanted most to go.... Me…
But you never asked.
Why didn’t you ask?

Oh ok, I understand, its fine.
Hello? … Maybe next time.

That’s over now and time has passed.
The world has changed my friend at last.
Where once I was taunted and runaway from,
Breaths a new era where me and mine have won.

No longer am I ignored like the days of school.
A brand new day has come and finally I’m cool.
A swept away fowl turned swan indeed,
Is living it up in ecstasy.

For all that’s happened I have this to say.
You being a **** made me this way
So I thank you. You *******! Each and every day.

It seems that we, meaning my friends and me,
Have you and yours to thank
For if it wasn’t for you treating us like **** in school
We would have never evolved in rank.

Now it’s our time to shine.

Hello. Maybe next time…
Just kidding, I’d be glad to lend you a helping hand…
Let’s go.

My heart is beating hysterically!
My inner spirit is banging on the wall.
And my soul is jumping on Oprah’s sofa.
I can’t believe I actually did it!
It felt great!
The few moments while it lasted…
I felt like I was in a corridor of heaven but now… I AM BROKEN!

So don’t waste your sticks and stones.
Like walls of old in stories told
I have taken it all.
A shadow-less rouge is what I am.

I tried and tried and tried and tried
And tried some more but now I’m tired.
I can’t keep doing this anymore…
I can’t keep thinking that today is the day.

So I seal away my hurt and pain.
It pains my soul to seal my hurt
So razor blades are my self-defense…

Stainless… Not even the bright red rosary of my blood leaves a mark.
And even if it did, that wouldn’t matter because, I AM BROKEN!

Broken like early reflections of faces in awe from Déjà Vu.
Broken like the light that shines the brightest after it’s ripped by a cloud…
Do you see a silver lining?

Let’s skip the fables of D.I.D’s and knights in shining armor.
I’ve got a couple of unresolved issues that need clearing up…
I wrote this piece for you…
You know who you are… Wherever you are…
What do I got to do to meet you again?

Corruption… Dysfunction… Illiteracy…
Grows strong even today as if it was 1695.

Man is guilty of neglecting his neighbor
Underpaying his labor
And getting some next door flavor.

But it’s a brand new day and I’m feeling great.
The air is cool,
My clothes are fresh
But boy am I late.

I dash to the mirror, ‘cause I’m as vain as they come.
Take my time to comb my hair, fix my beard and then some.

I got my swagger on and my hair look tight.
Knowing that I’m goin’a  have me a good one tonight.

Then as I step out of my comfort zone and into the World Wide Web of man,
Where other players got it on, and I just want to get along, but I can’t…

The panic switch flips and my stomach plays tricks
And my swagger just dipped ‘cause my confidence skipped.

I say hey!... It’s all good.
So I be chillin’ like a building made of Water, Glue and Wood.

My adrenalin pumps as my heart keeps drumming.
On the inside it’s like Katrina’s coming.
The ******...

My true feelings are obscured by pure bitter intellection.
My brain is the main heretic of my soul.
My thoughts… I know them well.
To each his own cognomen but yet I am confused.
Auto-Da-Fe…
But that won't work.

When I try to fathom I break.
And when I behold myself I shake.
No matter what I do, I will be held beneath the rest.
Because a sane person would help himself.
What's worse is that I know better but yet…
Perfidy…
I used to trust myself.

That’s why I write.
That’s why I write in a way that leaves all doubt behind.
Because that's how I clear my mind.
My condition hold's a banner that reads "Don’t Stop!"
But my conscience feels the need to make me be a better version of me.
So I will stop. Eventually…
Procrastination turns into never.

I am on my death bed now.
Toroidal chains erupt from thin air around me.
They tighten their grip around me in lento.
I hear a crescendo.
My sense of hearing finally decodes the glass that just fell from my hand.
I don’t see a grim reaper or Baphomet anywhere.
That gives me a little solace…
The end is near and once again, after all this time,
All I can think about is…
"What if?" ...