It’s raining,
And I wish you were here.
Because, and I know it’s cliché,
But I’m falling a lot harder
Than this rain, and dear,
It’s torrential here.
But these sheets of rain
Remind me of the sheets we share,
And I’d just as quickly
Wrap myself up in them
If I thought you were in there, too.
It’s 101° there.
But here it’s raining.
And I miss you.

I am from New Jersey.
From the paradise of small towns
And the inferno of concrete jungles.
I am from truck tire playgrounds,
Porch Clubs, and the whistle
Of the Riverline.
I am from divorce.
From alcoholism and denial,
From broken doors and hearts.
I am from next to hell.
From pouring out full forties
For one's homies passed away.
From too many candlelight vigils
And sidewalks littered with fourth grade pictures.
I am from the garden state.
From cows, corn, and Clinton,
And tractors in the parking lot.
I am from tradition.
From pasta and seven fishes,
From "Mafiosa!" screamed in the streets
And "No WHOPs" pasted on storefronts.
I am from love.
From three parents and four siblings,
From six dogs and duplicate holidays,
And the smell of tulips and holly.

I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But now I grow my own
I've grown a whole garden now
Waiting for you to come back home
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But I'm no longer naive
My garden has since died
You're no longer someone I believe
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
But my dear I should've known
That all my hoping would do
Is make me realize I'm alone
I used to hope you'd bring me flowers
I'd hoped you'd love me too
But those flowers never came
And my dear neither did you

I got a couple dents in the fender
Of my ****** car,
A couple rips in my best pair
Of my cheap jeans.
My scuffed up high tops
Are wearing thin,
Imperfection is my
New best friend.
My favorite t-shirt has
A couple of holes,
And my wallet's thinner than
My shoe's soles.
The scars on my skin
Are bright and white.
Imperfection is my
New best friend.
The streets of my ghetto
Are graffitied and dark,
And the knives in our pockets
Always stay sharp.
Though my best has a couple
Of nicks and cracks.
Imperfection is my
New best friend.

You're my black tar,
My drug,
My ******.
I'm addicted
And I can't get enough.
I'll love you til I overdose,
With your needle still inside me.

When I was made
Someone must have ******* up the wiring.
There's a short in my brain,
Like water was spilled on it.
Now there's smoke pouring out my ears
And the gears stopped spinning.
I think a wire got disconnected
With the first blow I took to the head.
Now I'm smoking like a chimney,
But that's alright,
Its all electrical.

I am colorblind
Without you, dear.
I lost red,
When you stole my heart,
A little bit of blue
With every tear that fell for you,
Green when I
Looked into your eyes for the last time.
I lost yellow when I lost you,
Cause you shone like the sun,
Purple went too,
With the last time you kissed my neck.
Pink disappeared when you did,
You took your favorite color with you.
I am colorblind
Without you, dear.
Now all that's left
Is the grays of stormy skies ahead.

I cannot keep watering dead flowers.
I cannot keep tangling with powers
Way beyond my ken.
I cannot keep hoping for more.
I cannot keep fighting this war
And losing all over again.

As much as I miss you, dear,
I cannot keep watering dead flowers,
Not even an IV can save them now.
Why I'm still trying is unclear,
But I've been giving CPR for hours,
Trying to save this somehow.

I cannot keep watering dead flowers.
I cannot keep tangling with powers
Way beyond my ken.
I cannot keep hoping for more.
I cannot keep fighting this war
And losing all over again.

Unrequited Love
What a painful thing
This painful painful love
Is so **** draining
Empty when you’re gone
Empty when you’re here
I’ve been empty all along
Except for all my fear
Fear you’ll find new love
Fear you’ll soon forget
How we fit like a glove
Dear, you’re the best I ever met
I want you to be happy
Even if it’s not with me
I want you to be happy
Even if I have to see
See you hold her hand
See you kiss her lips
Go to the Promised Land
With your hands on her hips
My heart begins to crack
From that smile on your face
But still I smile back
So yours doesn’t go to waste
Now I’ll wipe away the tears
Dripping from my eyes
I’ll face all my fears
With this happy disguise
Cause I’ll never let you know
Just how sad you make me
Cause when you wanna go
I’ll have to watch you leave
For unrequited love
Is not an uncommon thing
No, unrequited love
Is a common happening

I can't help falling in love with you,
Or the way that you move.
Like a river flows,
Or two plus one is three,
Dear that's the way it goes,
Some things will always be.
So don't just take my hand,
Take my heart too.
God knows this wasn't planned.
I can't help falling in love with you.
And I know it hasn't been long
But I just can't help my self.
And maybe I am wrong,
But I don't have eyes for anyone else.
With that look in your eye,
What else can I do?
And although I try,
I can't help falling in love with you.
So don't just take my hand,
Take my heart too.
God knows this wasn't planned.
I can't help falling in love with you.

Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to feed your head.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where you can only go in bed.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where creativity abounds.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place where your feet won't touch the ground.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to free your mind.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where when you search, you find.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to feed your head.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where you can only go when you're dead.

Your interest is piqued
By we the people,
The prosperous poor.
Pacified by things
As simple as passion,
We push,
Pull,
And punch
Our way to the peak.
You're puzzled
By our paedarchy
Where the puerile rule
For they are the prudent.
We are the prosperous poor,
The pauperized children,
Packing our hearts
With dreams of progress
And thoughts of prodigies.
Poor by birth,
Prosperous by personality,
We are the prosperous poor.
We, the children of poverty
Who have been pure only in heart
Will proceed
To prove that the poor
Are prosperous at heart.
The prosperous poor
Are only prosperous
Because they have felt the pain
Of the poor.

Last night I dreamt I married you,
Our wedding was all white.
Last night I dreamt I married you,
And we danced all through the night.
Last night I dreamt I married you,
Our house had a picket fence.
Last night I dreamt I married you,
Last night my life made sense.
Last night I dreamt I married you,
We spent our honeymoon in bed.
Last night I dreamt I married you,
But it was only in my head.

Its been 243 hours and 27 minutes since we last talked.
(Not that I'm counting)
Its been 2 weeks since I felt your lips on mine.
(Not that I'm counting)
I haven't slept in over 8 days
(Not that I'm counting)
And my heart has shattered into 286 pieces.
(Not that I'm counting)
I tried counting the times you took my breath away.
(I lost count)
I even tried counting the nights I dreamt of you.
(The number was too high)
I was reduced to counting the times I loved you, and never said it.
*(I'm bad at math anyway)

He walks in, khakis cuffed
Nikes laced tight.
He says, "I know hip hop is dead
But Imma revive it tonight".
He picks up the mic
While they laugh cause he's white.
He pays no mind,
Just steps into the spotlight.
Their jaws drop
When he starts to spit
They've never seen his match,
He's on that real ****.
He ran out of rhymes, he's freestylin' now
And every syllable, like a puzzle piece, fits.
There's a smile on his face now,
He knows he's legit.
He drops the mic
And walks away,
Doesn't look back
Its more impactful that way.
Everyone just stares
They don't know what to say
All they know, deep inside,
Is hip hop was reborn that day.

They tried to bury us my dear
But they didn't realize that we were seeds

Love is a cold war,
I'm a colder soldier.
My heart has become barren,
A frozen wasteland.
Cracked like the ice
That encases it.
Its been the target
Of many a snowball's chance.
So now I hold
Strong and cold
With weapons in hand
Prepared for this cold war
Which has made me
Even colder.

There once was a squirrel named Nutty
Who was looking for a little buddy
But Nutty was alone
So he burned down his home
With himself inside of it

We've become cliché,
And not just one,
But a multitude.
The forbidden romance.
The older man.
The late night phone calls.
The cigarettes after ***.
The hopeless romantics.
The songs we sing to each other.
The late night drives to nowhere.
The fling that never ends.
We've become cliché.
And I couldn't be happier.

I woke up dead
Trapped in my head
Only able to think
Black stars hung above me
While dirt surrounded me like a sea
And I began to sink
It seemed to me that I was trapped
There was no hope of going back
To my old life
I knew then that I had died
And my oh my it hurt my pride
It cut like a knife
But as days went by
I began to rise
Like the phoenix
Now that I've escaped my head
And I rose from the dead
Call me Lazarus

This is my requiem for you,
The newspaper airplane soaring
Round my heart and head.
This is my requiem for you,
The silent dream
Just out of reach.
This is my requiem for you,
The rain
That won't stop falling.
This is my requiem for you,
The only one
I'll ever need.
My upper,
My unattainable red dress,
My pure,
My rush.
This is my requiem for you,
My dear,
For my dream.

The world needs more lovers
With rose colored glasses
Forever worn
With glass hearts
And stoneless hands
With roses growing
Down their spines
And stardust
Coating their lungs
The world needs more dreamers
With centuries in their cells
And galaxies in their bones
With fiery passion
Boiling their blood
With trembling voices
And wonder in their eyes
With music in their souls
And freedom on their minds
The world needs more you's
Who are more than a number
And are wildly outspoken
Who have an insatiable lust
For knowledge
Who love endlessly
And dream all day
Who search for the beautiful things
Only our hearts can see

Now I don't ever fall in love,
But on nights like this
When the city lights shine
And I dive to new depths
I have encounters like this.
I see him sitting on the couch
With that grin on his face.
I can't hide the nerves or the quakes,
He's beautiful.
I'm captivated.
His kiss is addictive,
I'm hooked just after one.
Now my delirium is gone,
I'm hooked on his lithium lips.

There's something about you,
Like a Vonnegut tale,
A beautiful thing
With odd little quirks
Around every corner
And in every page.
A glowing light
That sometimes flickers
To black.
There's something about you,
My dear,
That's just out of reach.
So it goes.

Just a push of a plunger
And I'll make you warm again,
Make you forget how cold the world is.
Just one hit
And you'll smile again,
You'll sink into my bliss.
Just one push of a plunger,
Just one hit,
And, my friend, you're hooked.
But there's a dark side to me,
A side you don't see,
Not right away.
I'll run through your veins,
Rampant, destroying all I touch
Til I'm the only one who can fix you.
Just one more push of that plunger
And you can think again,
Without me your mind's in chains.
Just one more hit
And you can breathe again,
But its for the last time.
Just one more push,
Just one more hit,
And your life is mine.

And out of all the people I’ve ever met
No one can make me feel
Quite as safe
And as insecure
As important
And as replaceable
As wanted and as unnecessary
As you can
With just a single look
You’re iridescent
And compared to you
No one shines quite as bright

She was a girl bogged down
Stuck in a mire
When she climbed she fell
She couldn't get any higher
But when she falls she lands
Like a bird on a wire
Cause she's got something within her
Within her there's fire
So she cut her ties
She's never coming back
She's riding her train
To the end of its track
Where she knows no one
Not a Jill or a Jack
And no one
Knows what she lacks
But with no destination
She's stuck wandering
No visible future
She's stuck pondering
About the potential
She's busy squandering
So without any answers
She's stuck wondering

I've counted every firefly
Waiting for you
One
You have stars in your eyes
Two
And stardust in your lungs
Three
Your voice will drip with honey
Four
My counting's just begun
Sixteen
Every day will be and adventure
Seventeen
I'll travel the world with you
Eighteen
We won't have to leave the bed
Nineteen
My world will be you
Forty-three
We'll compare scars
Forty-four
And swap the best stories
Forty-five
We won't care about accomplishments
Forty-six
We're each other's greatest glories
One hundred and eight
I'm getting lonely dear
One hundred and nine
I counted this firefly twice
One hundred and ten
The waiting will be worth it
One hundred and eleven
You'll be my only vice
One thousand and twenty-one
I don't think you're coming
One thousand and twenty-two
I lost count a long time ago,
I hope you're counting too.

You made flowers grow under my bed
And in my  head
Where monsters used to hide.
You made tulips grow on my tongue,
Planted sunflowers in my lungs,
And violets in the bags under my eyes.
There are roses between my toes
And irises, growing in rows,
All down my spine.
You've made flowers grow, my dear,
In every corner of my mind.

You who hides your heart
your who fakes your smile
you who tears yourself apart
who thinks you're not worthwhile
come out of the dark
and into the light
come out of the dark
don't give up the fight
you with the scars on your wrist
you who cries alone at night
you who goes home to an angry fist
who listens while their parents fight
don't give up little fighter
don't let them win
don't give up little fighter
you'll be happier than you've been
you who has no hope to spare
you who feels alone
you who thinks no one cares
who has nowhere to call home
don't let a hell-bent heart leave you bitter
dear they'd **** to see you fall
when you think about the end reconsider
cause I'll help you through it all

I learned today
That our cells regenerate
Every seven years.
It gives me peace
To know that in seven years
My body will no longer know you.
In seven years my skin
Will no longer tingle
At your touch.
In seven years my tongue
Will no longer remember
The taste that your lips allowed.
In seven years my eyes
Will no longer see you
On every street corner.
In seven years my ears
Will no longer hear
The music in your voice.
In seven years my nose
Will no longer smell
Your cologne in my bed.
But I learned another fact today:
Your braincells never go.
How tormenting it is
That you'll be gone from all my senses
But, in seven years, still haunt my mind.

Ever since you left
I only shoot up with memories of you
They're the only thing
That I have left of you
You have set your mind
On keeping my eyes
Always looking behind
Searching for you
Ever since you left
You haven't let me forget
That beautiful night
When our lips first met
You have set your heart
On making sure
That are always a part
Of this heart that beat for you
Ever since you left
I only shoot up with memories of you
They're the only thing
That keep me coming back to you
You have set your mind
On me searching
But never being able to find
Someone as good as you
And my dear
You've won

I shake
At the thought of losing you.
It starts in my head,
Then goes to my hand,
Till I can hardly write.
Then it spreads to my legs,
"Stop thinking!" they beg,
"So you can sleep at night".
I break
At the thought of losing you.
It starts in my heart,
(Oh what a place to start)
Till I feel nothing at all.
Then it spreads to my fist,
Sometimes to my wrist,
As my hand breaks against the wall.
I ache
At the thought of losing you.
It starts in my belly,
Then my legs turn to jelly,
Till finally, I fall.
Then it spreads to my lungs
And then to my tongue,
Till all I can do is bawl.

The curse of complacency
Is all in my mouth,
I'm choking
On its bittersweet taste.
I want to cut the ties
To the sandbags holding me down.
I want to float away
Across the seas,
Drink up countries
To quench my wanderlust.
I want to discover the mysteries
Each continent has to hold.
To relish
In uncertainty,
But complacency
Is just so comforting.

I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed,
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.
Because I've wondered, since age eighteen,
About all the things that might have been.
Unsure, I have tread lightly,
Though your lips haunt me nightly.
I awake, hopeful but unsure,
That I crossed your mind the night before.
And I am haunted by how real your lips seem,
Because I know you are just a dream.
I'd hang a dreamcatcher above my bed
If I thought it would keep you out of my head.

I never believed in love at first sight;
But I do believe in love at first touch,
At first handshake.
I believe in love at first word,
Both uttered and sang.
I believe in love at first laugh
Shared over an awful cup of coffee.
I never believed in love at first sight
Because my dear how could I have known,
With just a simple glimpse,
The way your touch would stir my heart,
The way your words would woo my mind,
And your song, send shivers down my spine.
The way your laugh could sweeten my burnt coffee.
I never believed in love at first sight,
But, my dear, I believe I love you.

You've made tulips grow under my bed
And in my head,
Where monsters used to hide.
You made roses grow in my broken heart
And violets in the bags under my eyes.
My tongue is now a bed of roses
Where your tongue longs to lie.
You've made flowers grow,
My dear,
In the darkest parts of my mind.

I think I saw you in my dreams last night,
You were the one holding my hand.
I knew it was you at first sight.

Dear I just don't understand,
But God knows I won't fight,
Just give in to this higher command.

Cause I saw you in my dreams last night,
Your lips were on mine,
And nothing has felt so right.

Dear it was so fine
When in my mind all night,
Our bodies could intertwine.

I think I saw you in my dreams last night,
You were the one who made me smile.
Now waking next to you, I know my dreams were right.

So much is coming back, overwhelming what already is. Thinking of what I lack don’t know how to live. Everything is changing; don’t know if it’s better or worse. My life needs rearranging, I’ve gotta escape this curse. I don’t know where I’m going; barely know where I’ve been. Life’s not getting any better now matter how hard I try, everything’s getting harder no matter how much I lie. I don’t know where to turn; pain’s too much to swallow. All I can do I burn and stay here to wallow. It’s all too much to handle, I’m burning out. Going like a dying candle smothered by my doubt. I don’t know what to do, problems swirling round my head. I don’t know what to do with the life I’ve lead. This rains coming down on me washing hopes around, there’s nowhere I wanna be. Each drop is like a person, just another ripple. I’m drowning in this lake people think is a puddle. They’re telling me to stand; my feet can’t find the land. I’m lost nothing left to say, speechless all the way. The words I can find are few; they go a little like *******.

Bones.
Homes.
Hearts.
Minds.
All of these,
Must someday break.

"I didn't mean to break it" he said,
Holding my heart in his hands.
"I didn't mean to break it
I swear it wasn't my plan".
He held my mangled heart out,
Unsure of what to do.
"I didn't mean to break it,
But I don't have any glue".
I watched him let the pieces drop
And bounce around the floor.
"I didn't mean to break it,
But I don't love you anymore".

Everywhere I go I bring my camera because I never know where something beautiful will be. When I look at people or places I’m always looking for my next shot or next movie scene. I think that people miss a lot of beautiful things because they have a set idea of what beauty is. Through a camera, however, beauty can be around every corner and in every person. I believe that the true meaning behind my work is finding beauty in the small things that people take for granted and the places and people that will change people’s views on true beauty. I want to show people that train tracks can be as beautiful as a forest path, that city streets can be the great outdoors, that abandoned fields can be mansions, and that every person can be a model.

The curse of this town is all in my mouth. I'm drowning in its misery. This whole place is going south, and getting so **** empty. My fancy friends with their fancy cars, take their money and they go so far. They're all too good for me, you see, I'm just a city kid with no money. I hate this town its so dressed up and all my friends don't give a ****. One day they'll realize that their money and their cars, won't get them all too far. Cause their common sense got lost, somewhere in the gloss and glitz and gleam and glamour. So now money's all that matters.

I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I know I have
Seen you before,
And I do not just
Mean in my dreams.
I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I know I have
Loved you before,
Maybe in some
Long lost past life.

I know I have
Kissed your lips before
And got lost in
The light in your eyes.
I know we have
Danced on a thousand floors
Hopping, skipping, stumbling,
Again and again into each other's lives.

I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I saw you first
Millennia ago.
I do not believe in
Love at first sight,
I've loved you more times
Than the world can ever know.

If your car could talk,
It would speak of shirtless days
And pantless nights.
It would wince,
Remembering our voices,
Out of key and raised on high
Singing to every song we know.
If your car could talk,
It would cry
Thinking about when
We broke its little window
With a tow truck hook.
It would seethe
Remembering how we dismembered it,
Trying to start it without a key.
If your car could talk,
It would tell the world
Of our long drives
To destinations we never reached,
And our need to kiss
At every stop sign and red light.
Oh, dear,
If your car could talk,
It would tell on us.

If you only knew
How much I really loved you
Then maybe, oh maybe,
You'd stay.
If you only knew
How much I really care
Then maybe, oh maybe,
You'd talk to me each day.
If you knew how much I loved you
Then maybe you'd be here.
If you knew how much I cared
Then maybe there'd be no fear.
If only you knew
How much I really loved you
Then maybe I'd be in your arms.
If only you knew
How much I really cared
Then maybe you'd read these yarns.
If you only knew,
My dear,
How much I really loved you
Then maybe,
Oh just maybe,
You'd stay.

All that I've got
Is all that you gave me
So I never thought
I'd be so **** empty.
I gave you all the love
My heart ever held,
But now I'm left thinking of
My now living hell.
Its all I've got left,
Without you
My heart is bereft.
Dear, you've got me so blue.
Ever since that day
I've tried leaving you
But there was no way,
My soul's torn in two
And its tearing me apart,
Trying to love you.
You've broken my heart,
Dear, you've got me so blue.

They'll avert their eyes,
They'll avoid you.
You're just a hoodrat
Who's out past curfew.
You're obviously up to evil,
You're no **** good
Cause you're living in the country
But they know you're from the hood.
That cigarette hangin' out
From in between your cracked lips
Makes them all think
You don't got a purpose.
But they don't even care,
They don't wanna know you.
All they know about you
Is the window that they see through.

I still search for you
In endless crowds,
Starless skies,
And empty rooms.
I still call your name,
In lonely fields,
Raging storms,
And, loudest, in my mind.
I still wonder
Where you and I went wrong,
If I haunt your dreams too,
And if all this time will bring me back to you.
But my dear I have learned,
Not to waste my time,
Cause though you're just a memory,
My dear, I do not mind.

Tonight I vow to forget your name
And drown your memory
In whiskey.
Tonight I vow to forget the way
Your lips tasted with
A pack of cigarettes.
Tonight I vow to forget your hands
And numb my own
With the cold.
Tonight I vow to forget you
For real this time
Like you forgot me.