in everyday conversation everything is a bit quieter. colours are duller, reactions more distant.
but what is really farther away, is you.

Like a shadow, it follows, unrelenting; and in the darkness,
encompasses everything.
It’s hard to concentrate, focus. Contribute. when half your mind is constantly preoccupied.  

so you speak softer,
because you are unsure. About what you are saying, about your thoughts,
yourself.

it's as if your body no longer belongs to you. every inch of it he had touched has been contaminated. corrupted
that’s not something you can escape from. because it’s you. It’s always you.

It feels like your body is rejecting itself.
Haunted shivers slither down your spine.
your heart flutters agitatedly as your body desperately tries to break free from itself- this tainted prison.
Icy fire sweeps across your skin, a raw cleansing of everything there is. Everything you are.
except not. This is not something that can be swept away.

half frozen. moving slowly, as ice.
it’s a strange feeling.