it's like im being watched
someone's staring at me
waiting for me to give in my life
they make me shake
i'm scared .. i feel alone.
it's colder at night.
my blanket is always warm.
that's good i guess. but it's never going to be comparable to how warm i felt when you were here.
i'm too afraid to shut my eyes.
my breathing is heavy; sometimes.
my mind begins to tremble, and it can't
seem to remember how to relax.
and it's like that, for an hour
or so.
my eyes close, finally.
i'm shaking. not surprised.
but i'm so scared. pictures are forming,
voices are murmuring.
i jolt awake. and i look frantically around,
pinching myself to make sure i'm still alive.
pain. guess i am.
i lay in my bed. wide awake.
you know,
you used to help me sleep. when nights were scary like this. i loved it so much.
hearing your voice.
it made me sleep peacefully.
but there's no use in remembering
memories.
every time i try to remember, you just
aren't there anymore.
and i cry. because i miss you so much.
i feel .. left behind
like my soul is slowing fading away piece by piece in every place that we used to go to,
like the hallways we'd use to hide away from the world.
we used to hide a lot.
just so we can get away from the world for once.
so that it'll feel like you and me. for a few moments.
and in that reality, where it felt like a
universe where you and i only existed,
i felt true happiness. i smiled; and loved you.
now i hide myself. in my head.
feeling lost, every time i want to find you.
because you're gone. you've left.
now where do i go?
background : i used to be in love with someone. this poem expressed some of my painful nights. my happiness that i used to have, and what i feel now.