Lighting up my life in that subtle smile of yours
You are my hearth and my health
The love of my life and the answer to my prayers
You're my babygirl and my guardian angel
We'll stay young forever and never tire of the silly things
Piercings and tattoos, we're the odd ones out and we love it
Spiders and Butterflies all in one

I cheated you
I broke you
I hurt you
Now I'm sitting in this cell of white
Thinking of all the times I've bled you
Arms cut red
I caused your pain
I hate myself for it
You mean too much for me to do that again
Sitting by these walls of white
I think I'll try harder
To earn you
To keep you
To protect you
You call me your Hero
But when have I ever saved you
So far I've only caused pain
I'm changing
For the sake of "Us"
I'm losing my mind
In this building of white
Wondering when I will hold you again
I see you when it's black
I feel you when it's red
I hear you when it's white
These colors dancing around my head
Reminding me of your torture
480 times I've felt your pain
4 times your heartache
3 times your tears
I've killed you over and over
It's high time I lived up to what you call me
And be your Hero
My visions going black now
So I'll see you again
In this facility of white

Today, I’m sorry,
Yesterday, I was rude
This fear of losing you is sending me reeling
Right around this trailing cylinder
Holding my thoughts
Feelings
Emotions
Locked tight in my heart
You hold the key
Just a jester telling jokes
I make you smile
Laugh
Maybe even cry with joy
You see me for who I am
And I see you
I wear my heart on my shoulder
So I don’t go and lose it
My lungs on my shirt
My ribs on my jeans
I store my words in my shoe
Hoping I’ll stamp them out
Before they leave my mouth
This world is my mistake
I shouldn't get involved
I’m lost in the sanity of this voyage
It seems so right
Its taking me somewhere I don’t know
A destination of hesitation
I wait for your response
Praying it comes with a fraying voice

These words etched into my mind
Beating sense of meaning
Pulsing into a rhythm of bliss
Bleeding out when they're broken
They're veins in my body
Living with me
Derived from my feelings toward her
I can't help but lose control
They own me
Now more than ever
I tried not talking
Not eating
Not sleeping
It made things worse
Those words just beat stronger than before
Like a fire that refuses to die out
I throw stones at them
Only to get boulders thrown back
Its a one way street
A one sided victory
These words rule me now
I'm sick of them
Yet I still think them
These three words
Control my everything
Those three words
Are my everything

This is it
The last time I try for love
Its been evading me thus far
Seeming to come close
Just to move father away
Its a difficult road
Bumpy, Crooked, and Long
I just want to take the easy way off
Run off the path
But I can't rush it
Not now
Just one more time
The last time

I miss you
I love you
You broke my heart over again
and I can't recover this time
It hurt so much I can't
replace that feeling of trust
I gave you my all
and you gave it away
you gave it to him
in a bed of lies
lies told to me
and her
you didn't cheat
you just slept with him
while I
was in your arms
not in your heart
never in your heart
he slept with you
while he held her heart in his hands
it was an accident right?
just a mistake?
how could it be
just happenstance
only a misjudged position that led to pleasure
you hurt me
so badly
but
i miss you
i love you

For all the things that aren't 
And all the things that are
This is
That wasn't
And those 
Might not even be

As if one could be two and three could be none
Existence is nothing save appearance

My reality is broken 
I came into being 
Knowing things for certain 
Until I was proven otherwise
After that
My reality was a pile of thought nots and never were's
My reality never really was

A being of endless possibility
In a world of fall flat imagination
I dream to live
I dream of being
I dream the days into years
And those years will never stack up
We'll be in groundhog day forever
Your reality
I'm living it

In my world
Paper cuts bleed worse than a stabbed back
Broken bones ache worse than a shattered conscience 
My reality 
Is now

I'm in a world mirrored twice to the opposite of what you used to know
I'm in a world so twisted and ******* up that the only way to stop it is with a cork
This reality
Is real

So for all the things that are
And all the things that aren't
This is
That wasn't 
And those
Might not even be
This is
My reality

Mitchell S. Bartlett