Standing up before the forked road:
This direction? That way?

In one hand a spoonful of doubts
In the other a penknife of precision

Eventually
she cut out her own way
sipping bitterness

The forked road into a trident boulevard
Good and Evil
hand in hand
side by side
avec elegance

I cannot promise I will hold you up,
I can't promise my arms won't give out;
but I will stay.
I cannot promise to squeeze you tight,
I can't promise I'll pull you away;
but I will stay.
I cannot promise I will pick you up when you fall,
I can't promise to pick up the mess, day by day;
but I will stay.

I promise, my heart will always be your safe haven.
You may rest in there for all of your days.

My dear, I promise,
I will stay.

I am but a boy,
who became a man.
And for every day I lived as myself,
I grew into something more.
Until I was more than I ever was before.
I lived a life's journey in 15 years,
Through every stone and sneer.
I have a strength that was always my own,
Yet it is a power we have all known.
I am strong with this power, as strong as your most powerful moment.
With this power I was there when You were hurt.
You with a capitol, because you are just as important as I.
With this power I felt your pain,
How you hated yourself.
You cut.
You starved.
You did your best to DESTROY yourself. To erase yourself. To... ****... yourself.
And you...

you...

you are still here.
YOU beat back depression.
YOU in all capitols because you are strong like I.
YOU took the talons of depression, hate, unhappiness, and you ripped them out,
One by one,
Each one took their tole, a piece of your beautiful soul.
But they left room to grow, to re-learn, and know,
Happiness, Peace, Joy.
You fought tooth and nail, you felt the pain like me, you gave all you WERE like ME, YOU sought FREEDOM from THE DARK like ME, YOU GAINED EVERY OUNCE OF POWER YOU HAVE NOW.
YOU gained it in saving yourself.
As I did the same.
Thats how I know I was there, along with everyone else like us.
I felt your power, Your strength, all your own, yet similar.
That strength... I admire it.
Never lose it, and I will never lose mine.
I love you, as a sister or brother.
For this strength we share.

I don't want you to tell me I'm hot.
I just want you to care.

I don't want you to talk about my body.
I just want you to see inside.

I don't want to hear about her.
I just want to be comfortable again.

I don't want you to take advantage.
I just want you to miss me.

reeking with self-worthlessness
because how am I supposed to top that
or top anything
because all I know how to do
and do well
is **** people off
and moments like this
long past you kissing me goodbye
me standing in my doorway left with none of you
but a t-shirt and the hickeys you left on my *******
and I am trapped inside my own color
or lack of
and all they can do is smirk at my black eyes
but they're black because I used to punch out my pupils
with hole punchers I stole from my second grade classroom
because I hate staring at myself in the mirror
and outside the moment of you licking up my thighs,
that's all I can look at
my purple, frozen lips
I sell my ice cold words for 25 cents on the main road
and you've forgotten about the cuts on my wrists
but I haven't because it's all the mirror shows me.

The sun set
Out my window-
Its light bounced
Off your eye lashes,
Your *******,
And my warm blankets
Into my eyes

I thought I wore nothing but my watch
As we made love
And I saw you checking the time,
Just seeing
How long we had left

But I noticed later that

(“If a train came right now
Would you get out of the way?”
We were in the woods
Standing on this quiet railroad track
Where the birds chirped loudly,
Annoyingly unaware of the silence
We required.
We hadn't spoken
For several minutes
And I had been thinking about this
For a while
As we stood staring straight ahead
Both of us half hoping...

My answer came quickly:
“Yes.”

You turned and walked away
Unable to face
The most fundamental difference
Between us,
Laid out so blatantly.)

I had preemptively worn a moment
That day
As well.

Please don’t forget about me.

I have kept you in my mind

For quite a long time now.

Tried to convince myself you didn’t care,

Ended up just wanting you more.

So

Since I’ve exhausted my options

I’m just going to ask you

Simply

Unabashedly

With nothing left to fight with or against:

Please

Don’t forget about me.

I can't pretend to be happy,
I can't pretend to be successful,
I can't pretend to be confident,
I can't pretend to be strong,
What comes first?
If I just tell myself I am, do I become these?
Is that my chicken?
Am I it's egg?