I wanna scream
I wanna cry
I form the words but they run dry
I ask God why does this happen
But his response just feels like nothin’
I wanna speak
I wanna tell
That my existence feels like hell
My eyes welled up
I look at the sky
What does God have planned
Askin’ ‘why oh why?!’
I walk into church
Face straight to the floor
I look up and think
I just wanna run out the door
Don't wanna stay
Don’t wanna read
And I sure as hell don’t wanna pray
Later that night
While I hide alone
Holding in the pain with all my might
Lay in bed
Thoughts wondering
Where am I headed?

Soft crashes against the sandy shoreline
Waves charge towards my feet every so often
The smell of sea salt & evergreen trees run to my nostrils,
Breathing in, breathing out
Seagulls cry to one another as if to say they have found super
Deep blue curves in the distance form into off white foam
The cold water rushing to my ankles only to escape back into the ocean,
Sand sticking to the bottoms of my feet;



The warmth of the controlled flame comforts me,
Chasing away the icy feeling in my body
Curled on an old fashioned couch next to my sister
I share stories of past family trips.
The beach, the city, mountains, country.
But new journeys are to be taken
And new memories are to be made.