Sometimes I forget to breathe
I forget that I am real
And not just living in make-believe
I’m here and on this earth
Stagnant, lying
In the up and in-between
Away from where you are
I can stay hidden, unseen

Sometimes I forget to open my eyes
I forget that I’m only dreaming
I wish that this life were only lies
And not the constant haunting I’ve been fearing
If I fall I won’t feel it
If I die I’ll be alright
Because I was never really living

I wish that my fantasy lasted forever
Went on and into infinity
But that’s a silly thing to want
For without pain we never feel
And with out boredom we never feel excitement
I grow impatient with wondering
If I’m really here at all
If I speak will any one even hear?

Sometimes I forget to breathe
If I do please shake me
I’d hate to die in your arms
Such a predictable way to go
Sometimes I forget to scream
When the pressure builds
When I feel sick and frightened
No, I’ll never forget what he did
But I’ll always forget to speak.

Today I walked in from work
Making my way throught the strange and quiet house.
I couldn't understand when I walked into my room and saw you snuggled in my blanket
My bed has never looked so warm and so inviting
Your red hair spilling all over the pillows
Cascading into the shadow
I laid down fully dressed
Laying there in a dream
You are evreything that I will ever need
My best friend
pocketwatch
rain cloud
kissing booth

So strange to see your lips agian
Pursed and perfect
Red stained Beautiful

All so warm and simple
Not like the others
Her whole life is sweet and gentle

You can watch the parts of my life you touch
Turn away from the stoney lonesome
Your vines, your ivy, sweet smelling flowers
Wearing angel soft petals bloom in the pale moon

So what is left for me?
What more do I need?
I have my "Shelter from the Storm"

So
a long tired kiss is in order
on sleeping lips
soft and unkowing

Curling up in the warmth next to her
The flower wrapping her warm petals about me
I need nothing else in this world
As I begin to drift off into sleep so complete
A rustling on the bed beside me
Warm lips touch my ear
I hear her breathe "thank you"
and like that she left me there

I wake up alone
On this old couch
Sunlight creeping in through the broken blinds
In this trash apartment
In this nowhere town
Sober

Its not always so great to live alone
I wish I could be with you
Just talk and share a bowl of cereal
Refrigerator magnets
Pictures on your wall

Sometimes I wish I didn't have to come home
and sit alone

I bet even t.v would be better with you

I bet things wouldn't be so dull
If I heard just a moment of your laughter
Echoing off the walls

Lights would shine brighter
Even the lightbulbs would glow like el sol

Make dinner
Listen to music

I would turn down the t.v
So I could better hear you singing in the shower
I wouldn't mind vacuming
If your feet walked my floor
I would sit like a child
Underneath the lights on the vanity
As you brush your red hair
And make jokes about whatever we want

But you aren't here and you never will be

So instead "Ill get smashed on southern comfort"

the grass is coarse beneath us
but your hand is smooth in mine.
the summer humidity
has run its fingers through your hair
and the makeup that you didn't need
is smeared beneath your eyes
but you're still beautiful.
we don't speak any words
but the rising and falling of your chest
says everything we need to know.
we look to the inky black canvas
of the night sky
pricked by tiny pinholes of light
that are actually far larger
than we could ever comprehend.
the fireflies enact a light show
as a maestro cicada plays his concerto
and this summer setting seems perfect
but nowhere near as perfect as you.

Exploring what sits at the heart
of the abstract acidic junkyard I've got.
Hallucinating gases produce a wild story
that starts off walking
in search of a new wrinkle.

You think you're angry inside?

half-speed heart-murmur salvation
knows how to have a micro-attack
on a super duper level.

you don't see skies or trees

I am so used to the liquid electronic desert,
the second the doors open
I get higher when i get inside.